Perhaps you have heard the popular new song “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. This song is about loving everything about someone, not wanting to change a thing. Before the DJ played this song while I was listening to the radio last night, a woman called in practically in tears expressing how she is waiting for a man to see her this way and hopes he comes along soon. Immediately I thought about how we conditioned we are to long for someone else to tell us how great we are before we commit to believing it for ourselves. Why do we consistently put our self-worth in the hands of others? Does it serve us to place so much value in validation from another?

The message of this song capture what we all want: to be seen, loved and accepted unconditionally. Most of us spend a lot of time and energy attempting to morph ourselves into being more lovable. Searching, hoping and expecting that someone else will love us just the way we are when the truth is that is OUR responsibility. We project this need to be loved unconditionally onto another person and anxiously await it. And if it doesn’t come along, we conclude that something must be wrong with us.

But guess what? You don’t have to wait. That unconditional love and acceptance is available to you right now in this moment. You do not need Bruno to sing to you or John Cusack to show up outside your window holding a boombox over his head to finally realize that you are incredible just the way you are.

Why wait for someone else to sing your praises? UPdate the way you see yourself by singing this song aloud to yourself using the lyrics I’ve modified below. I understand and appreciate that radical self acceptance can be challenging. However, if we truly commit to taking one step closer to accepting ourselves each day, we will begin to see, accept and love ourselves the way we want others to see, accept and love us.

I love you just the way you are,

Fondly,
Christine

“Just the Way I Am” by Bruro Mars with my amended lyrics

Oh my eyes, my eyes
Make the stars look like they’re not shining
My hair, my hair
Falls perfectly without me trying

I’m so beautiful
And I tell myself every day

Yeah I know, I know
When others compliment me
I wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think I don’t see what others see

But every time I ask myself do I look okay
I say

When I see my face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause I’m amazing
Just the way I am
And when I smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause I’m amazing
Just the way I am

My nails, my nails
I could kiss them all day if I’d let me
My laugh, my laugh
I have and I think its so sexy

I’m so beautiful
And I tell myself every day

Oh I know, I know, I know
Id never ask me to change
If perfect is what I’m searching for
Then I will stay the same

So I won’t bother asking
If I look okay
You know I say

When I see my face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause I’m amazing
Just the way I am
And when I smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause ya I’m amazing
Just the way I am

The way I am
The way I am
Cause I’m amazing
Just the way I am

When I see my face
There’s not a thing that I would change
Cause I’m amazing
Just the way I am
And when I smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause ya I’m amazing
Just the way I am