As I sat down to write this Update, I was blank. I tossed around a bunch of ideas and started a few drafts but nothing felt good enough. I started getting frustrated and just wanted to go eat breakfast to hope for some inspiration (aka procrastinate). What could I write about that would be the perfect update for today? Then it hit me, trying to come up with the “perfect” thing was paralyzing me!

Perfection was actually a theme during several of coaching sessions yesterday so I’m not surprised that I found myself having to practice what I preach today. As my clients expressed the tremendous expectations they put on themselves to be perfect and do things “right,” even their personal growth work, I reminded them that we are all human. Perfection is not only impossible, it is kind of unappealing.

Let’s try a little thought experiment: think about people that you respect and look up to that you really know (not celebrities that you idolize). Do you admire them because they are perfect? Or do they inspire you because they have overcome challenges and created possibilities? Now think of people that come across as perfect to you. Do you feel jealous and kind of annoyed that they seem to have it all together? Do they seem more superhuman than truly human?

Personally, I am far more inspired by people who expose their humanity rather than trying to do everything “right.” For instance at a meeting I was at last week, the new Dean of one of the most prominent grad schools in the country came and spoke to us. I was impressed by all her achievements and verbose vocabulary but I was inspired when she shared about struggles and perceived failures in her personal life. I respected her even more for having the guts to expose her humanity and not hide behind her outstanding credentials.

So do you want to impress people or inspire people? Perfection is boring. Being a human being who is willing to take risks, make mistakes, be vulnerable, and not care what others think of you is exciting and far more interesting. Plus, being driven by perfection is paralyzing. Think of how many things you have delayed beginning or doing because you are waiting to get it perfectly right or for the perfect time. There is no perfect so tell your perfectionist to take a hike. I suspect that when you do you’ll open up to greater levels of self-expression and possibility!

And my perfectionist usually does three rounds of proofreading so if there are grammatical or spelling errors in this Update c’est la vie.

Fondly,
Christine

“Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.”
-Rosalynn Carter

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
-Salvador Dali

“Congratulations! You’re not perfect! It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you’re not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs ’em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.” -Stephen Manes