Today I pay tribute to someone I loved very much who passed away unexpectedly on Monday.  Her name is Mona Miller.  For the past 13 years Mona has been my coach, mentor, spiritual advisor, confidant and cherished friend. She was my first teacher on this path of personal growth. Without her love and guidance I would not be where I am today.  There are no words to capture the profound impact she made on every aspect of my life.

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  When I first heard the news I was shocked.  All I could do was sob and then my mind tried to make sense of it.  I had a lot of questions, mostly along the lines of “why did this happen?”  The wise part of me knows there really are no answers to those questions and all that is left for me to do is grieve.

So I have been riding waves of intense grief and within those waves I am discovering deep gratitude. How lucky am I to have had a guide in my life who saw me through eyes of Truth and Love during my most formative adult years. How lucky am I to have had such a wise and gentle teacher who shined light on the places inside that felt dark and scary. How lucky am I to have had a coach who never judged and helped me learn how to love and accept myself. And how lucky am I to have cared about someone so deeply that thinking of her now brings tears to my eyes.

I keep thinking about our time together last week…little did I know that would be the last time we hugged. I am sad. I miss her terribly. There is a part of me that is angry that she left us at only 50 years old. I feel endless compassion for her family, friends and clients.  And I am allowing all these feelings to come up. I know it’s part of the grief process and Mona taught me how to process.

I honor her by continuing to pay forward all the lessons she taught me. I will keep her memory in my heart by being the unconditional love and acceptance to my clients, friends and family that she is for me.  And I trust my connection to her will continue in a new way, I already feel it.

God Bless you Mona Miller.  You are an angel in my life and the lives of so many others.  You are one of a kind and lit up every room you were in. You dedicated your life to seeing and celebrating others and provided an endless stream of hope and compassion.  You changed the world by walking your talk and being an inspiration just by being you.  Thank you for the bright light that you have been and will continue to be.  May your journey be filled with peace and know your legacy lives on.

And thank YOU for your love and support, it means so much to me.  Please continue to send Light and Love to Mona Miller, her family, friends and clients.

With love and deep gratitude,

With love and deep gratitude,

Christine

The following was written by Ram Dass and was sent to me by a friend and fellow student of Mona’s which I found very comforting:

Your teacher finished their work on earth and left the stage in a manner that leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our heart as the fragile thread of our faith is dealt with so unexpectedly. Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such teachings as you are receiving? Probably very few, and even they would only have a whisper of equanimity and peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief, horror and desolation. I can’t assuage your pain with any words, nor should I. For your pain is your Teacher’s legacy to you, not that they or I would inflict such pain by choice, but there it is. And it must burn its purifying way to completion, for something in you dies when you bear the unbearable. It is only in that dark night of the soul that you are prepared to see as God sees, and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let your grief find expression, no falses. Now is the time to sit quietly and speak to your teacher and thank them for being with you for these years and encourage them to go on with whatever their work is. Knowing that you will grow in compassion and wisdom from this experience. In my heart I know that you and they will meet again and again and recognize the many ways in which you have known each other, and when you meet you will know in a flash what now it is not given to you to know: why this had to be the way it was.

Our rational minds can never understand what has happened, but our hearts if we keep them open to God will find their own intuitive way. Your teacher came to do their work on earth, which includes their manner of death. Now their soul is free and the love that you can share with them is invulnerable to the winds of changing time and space, in that deep love, include me.

In love,

Ram Dass

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