I left the party

What we say “no” to in life is just as important as what we say yes to . . .

I was reminded of this at a party last weekend that turned out to be much different than I expected – the vibe and one person in particular who was not being very kind to me from my perspective.  After about an hour of attempting to adapt myself to the situation, I realized that it was not self-honoring for me to be there. 

So I left.  I said “no” to hanging out in a situation that just did not feel good.  It felt GREAT to walk away without any judgment of myself or anyone else.  No one was wrong or bad, it just was not aligned with me.  And I proceeded to have a beautiful evening with people I love and totally vibe with.

Saying “no” and opting out of situations, relationships, and environments sends a powerful message to the Universe of what you do want to attract into your life. The process of elimination is an integral part to the process of co-creation! Which is why my encouragement to you today is to start saying “no” and opting out.

Consider what you are allowing in your life that is not aligned with who you truly are and what you really want:

  • Where are you settling for good enough when you desire better?
  • Where are you you are adapting, or even contorting yourself into a pretzel, to fit in where you truly don’t belong?
  • What are you saying “yes” to that is sabotaging your intentions surrounding health, wealth, and love?
  • How are you behaving that is distracting you from being on purpose – or potentially putting you at risk?

When something is not a “Hell Yes!” it is a “Hell NO!”  “Maybe,” “possibly,” and “perhaps” are not empowering energies to engage in and will not get you where you want to go. If you feel unclear or uncertain, get quiet, go inside and listen to your intuition.  Your inner knowing is not wishy-washy. Think of that time where you really knew something was a “no” and you did it anyway….how did that work out for you?

If accessing your inner knowing is challenging, you can use the wisdom of your body. In today’s vlog I demonstrate two techniques for how to do this so be sure to watch here.

It is okay to say “no” – and “no” is a complete sentence. You do not need to follow it with an explanation, apology, or combo of both.  Stop being a people-pleaser (read more about that here). Instead get more aligned with your values and intentions so you can be the best version of yourself and serve others rather than please or appease them. 

Say “no” to big things like ending relationships that are not aligned with your values and what you have to offer to make room for your soul friends and mates. Say “no” to little things like texting while driving that could save your life or the life of some else.  There is so much to say “no” to which is really saying “yes” to so much more!!

Remember: Your life is created just as much by what you say “no” to and take action away from as it is by what you say you say “yes” to and take action toward.  I want to hear what you are saying, “Hell NO!” to – head on over to the blog and share your comments.

Finally I LOVE this blog written by my girlfriend Christina Rasmussen, author of  Second Firsts, where she shares the practice of saying “no” at least five times a day. Can you be that outrageously self-honoring?!?!? Hell YES!

Love,

Christine

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  • LaRena

    Thanks Christine! I needed to hear that!

    • Christine Hassler

      My pleasure!

  • Ruthie Lewis

    I love this Christine! Staying in alignment and in life’s rhythm is so important to our wholeness and purpose. I’m was writing about this today in my new book about flowing with the tsunami. Blessings, my thanks to Christina Rasmussen for sharing your blog. :)

    • Christine Hassler

      So glad Christina has connected us, Ruthie!

  • Jenna Showers

    This is great! Thanks so much – I’ve been looking for something like this to help me answer the questions I’m unsure on.

    • Christine Hassler

      Glad it helped, Jenna :)

  • Krista

    This is so imperative for me right now, what great timing! :) My only question is (and maybe this is a silly one)… is there a difference between feeling a “hell no” and just not feeling up to doing something. What I mean is that there are a lot of things that ‘m just not interested in doing, not because I think it doesn’t feel right, but just because I don’t feel like it (big get-togethers with friends/friends of friends is one example). I always end up feeling guilty for not doing something because I just don’t feel up to it. Is that my inner knowing, or am I do I actually have a reason to feel guilty? Would love to hear others’ opinions on this! Thanks :)

    • Christine Hassler

      Hey Krista – if you don’t feel like it, then it is a HELL NO! Feelings are powerful indicators of whether something resonates. And if it doesn’t then honoring that is in alignment – no need to feel guilty – guilt is a HUGE waste of energy.

  • Grace

    Thanks So Much! I’M Coming Across So Useful MaTerial Lately That IM Thinking That There Is Something Out There Trying To Guide Me or Help Me Find The Right path

    • Christine Hassler

      My pleasure Grace :) Keep discovering!!

  • Carrie

    Wow! I just found you. I am just now beginning to learn that I can have boundaries. Just now trying out this “no” concept and it feels so good!!!

    • Christine Hassler

      Hi Carrie (love your name as it’s the name of my sister who I absolutely adore!!). Glad we have found each other and YES to boundaries!

  • Jessica

    I found Christina’s book a couple months ago and am now reading “the power of no”. It gave me the push I needed to end a relationship with someone that I have very strong feelings for but just didn’t give me the time and effort that I deserved. I’m stronger because of it and gaining confidence every day by saying NO! No more settling!! Thank you for sending this message out :)

    • Christine Hassler

      YES to NO MORE SETTLING!!!

  • Sonja

    Last week I quit a course that I did not feel like studying, even though my friends and family encouraged me to keep on going. I am also applying for a new job. And you just confirmed what I already know: that I need to end a relationship that is not a hell yes.. Thank you Christine! I really appreciate you! Love!

    • Christine Hassler

      That is awesome and so liberating!!!

  • guest

    This video came to me at a perfect time! i’m in the process of gathering energy to say NO to a job situation that I don’t like anymore and finding something that’s better for me. I specially like the statement – if it’s not ‘hell yes’, then it’s ‘hell no’! I’m planning to THRIVE, not just SURVIVE!

    • Christine Hassler

      Yes, THRIVE THRIVE THRIVE!! LIfe is too short to simply survive

  • Nikki

    Thank you, and you are right, “No” is a complete sentence, and often needs no explanation. Nikki

  • Justine

    Christine, I love you! Thank you for this and the “breaking patterns” vlog. I will be doing the 30-40 days of pattern breaking starting with food that makes me feel bad/don’t want to eat. It was great to find you through researching USM ! I’ve come across you before, but its nice to see that we are “crossing paths” in other ways too!

  • Heather

    THank you!!!

  • http://www.LifeCoachingYOUniverse.com Rick

    What does it mean, if anything, when the two techniques you shared don’t work? I really wanted them to but my body didn’t move after repeated tries and my OK sign didn’t get weaker. I’m at a crossroads with my business and was hoping these tools could give me some guidance. Thanks in advance for your response. BTW, I love your website.

  • Michelle Fayth Marciano

    I like this video and exercise in muscle testing… It is so informative, and reminded me of how, I naturally have enjoyed to (some extent) of being a people pleaser….but how it has affected me with my level of co-creating and who I truly am….
    In recent months…I have been forced to shift this perspective….and take inner authority….by choosing my own self awareness, follow my intuition, and as Christine says, live on purpose.

    Now with theses video training, and note taking….it gives me and even higher perspective of where I’m going….and who I am shifting into….

    Getting even more honest with myself and following my heart’s path.

    Thanks Christine for sharing this precisely insightful video….
    Simple, to the point, and right on time.

    Purpose and Action equals equality, joy, and success.

  • Katie

    Hello,
    Reading this was a good reminder for me. I often feel stuck in situations where I’m enjoying someone or something but it is not in align with what I want for my future. Currently I am struggling to say “no” to an experience that I have always wanted and am thankful for having the opportunity to experience. But I want more than what this situation can offer. I suppose my question is this…how do you, or do you, balance the things you want with the things (decisions) that you know are best or better for you?