Got someone under your skin?

People upset us. We get hurt. We get pissed off. We feel betrayed or rejected.  These things are part of the human experience.

But allowing any kind of upset to continue to live inside of us does not have to be part of our experience.  People do what they do but we are responsible for how we are affected by their behavior.

Today in the vlog  I take you through a powerful mental cleansing process that comes from an ancient Hawaiian tradition called Ho’oponopono (ho-o-pono-pono).

I understand how challenging it can be to forgive when your heart feels broken.

Or when you feel betrayed.

Or when you feel like you were wronged.

Or did something wrong.

But holding onto any kind of anger, regret, resentment, or frustration is toxic to your well-being.  It monopolizes valuable energy that you could be using to love and serve others or take actions that support your dreams.  Judgment against anyone else, including yourself, robs you of peace and joy.

The most important person you must forgive is yourself.  You and everyone else have always been doing your/their best given the resources you/they had at the time. 

Ho’oponopono means to “make right”. It does not mean that anyone is “right” in the terms of right and wrong.  Rather, it means we make right by letting go of the judgments that lock in negative thoughts and feelings toward others or ourselves.

I’ve outlined how to do Ho’oponopono below and amended the process a bit in a way that makes it more powerful for me, so feel free to do the same. Your intention to forgive and let go is what will make it effective for you:

  1. Begin by bringing to mind anyone that you perceive has upset you in anyway – that person may be you. Often we receive the most criticism (which is very upsetting!) from ourselves.
  2. Imagine an infinite source of Light, love, and healing energy flowing from Source through the top of your head. See, feel, and experience that Light filling your entire body.
  3. In your mind’s eye, see the person who is the subject of forgiveness in a golden bubble of light.  Direct the overflow of loving energy and light inside of you toward them. See it filling them.
  4. From this place of love, slowly repeat each of these mantras. Take a deep breath between each one and go slow:
    • I’m sorry (or I apologize)
    • Please forgive me
    • I love you
    • Thank you (In the vlog I explain the meaning within each statement in more depth and also guide you  through the process so be sure to watch)
  5. Continue repeating the mantra until you experience a release.
  6. When complete, see the person floating away in their golden bubble. For me, this step is giving them back to God and cutting any cords or attachments.

To receive deep healing from this process, you must get out of a right/wrong, good/bad ,or victim/perpetrator mentality. When we forgive we are not condoning or agreeing.  Instead we are letting go of judgments that in lock pain and upset. Escape the prison of your own mind by consciously choosing to set someone else and yourself free.

REMEMBER: All people, including you, have always done the best they can with the resources they have.

A client of mine, Lulu, beautifully expressed her experience of forgiveness to me:

“We often think that our plan/view/opinion of life is how it should be (pain free). We often feel justified in holding a negative opinion against someone/thing who hurt us. Life changes dramatically when we embrace and allow the Divine plan to play out and accept that each person and event are the supporting characters in our ‘play’ and have always been. I think faith/trust is the pathway to forgiveness, beginning with myself, and that there is no person that cannot be forgiven.”

Please share your intention and experience with this process over on my blog. I love connecting in the comments section and supporting you on your journey.



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  • Leann

    Thank you for this tool. An estranged relationship with a formerly close relative, is the first that I tried this on. After sitting with the meditation, I chose to email this person. They responded back positively and I hold hope that they will live in joy and love. But our bubbles have separated, as when they interacted for over 14 years it was a toxic relationship filled with fear, lies and mistrust. While I forgive myself, and them, for our parts in this, I recognize that this person still acts out of fear and choose not to build that relationship again. I am strong enough to protect myself and wish them well from afar.

    • Christine Hassler

      Beautiful Leann!!!

  • Sheryl

    Hi Christine, this message is very timely for me but when I tried to do the process I found my mind wandering in and out and I wasn’t able to tap into the feeling of forgiveness. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

  • Philippa Crawford

    Hey Christine! This message couldn’t have dropped into my email at a better time than it did. Exactly what I needed at the exact right time. Thank you for sharing! I practiced it in my shivasna today :) you are only your most painful prisoner without forgiveness. Xx

  • simone anderson-clark

    When there is so much anger towards a person that you can’t even begin to close your eyes and you don’t want to forgive right now how do you start.

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