Tips when faced with an either/or choice

I am writing you today’s update from a plane ride back to LA from Austin. I spend quite a bit of time in Texas and have been entertaining the idea of moving back for years, but have not fully committed. Being in limbo is not like me because I know the emotional and energetic drain of indecision. Yet for whatever reason, I continued to bounce back and forth between cowboy boots and palm trees.

On this last trip, I had an aha moment that finally brought me peace that I share about in today’s vlog.

We often fall into either / or type thinking. We feel pressure to choose and tell ourselves, “Either I can have this or I can have that.”

Do any of the following sound familiar?

I can either take a great vacation or I can pay my student loan bills.

I can either be an amazing mom or a successful businessperson.

I can either be an entrepreneur or have financial security.

I can either speak my truth or I can appease other people.

I can either be vulnerable or strong.

I can either be in a relationship or have my freedom.

I can either invest in my personal growth or move to a nicer home.

This kind of either-or thinking actually fuels a scarcity paradigm if we are not mindful of how we are holding a choice inside our consciousness.  

We forget that we are creative and transformational beings living in an abundant Universe that is full of infinite possibilities the moment we buy into the belief that choosing one thing means we must sacrifice another.

In my geographical quandary what I realized is that I kept reinforcing the belief that I needed to choose one or the other.  And in that, I believed that I would be giving something up.  My aha was that the choice can be BOTH.  I stopped thinking “Austin or LA” and started believing “Austin and LA.” What a relief to realize that right now it is totally possible for me to spend even more time in Austin without giving up the amazing life I have in LA.

What is at the root of so much of either-or thinking is the limiting belief that we cannot have everything we desire.

As we dream, there is a doubting voice inside that tells us it is not possible. This voice is not bad or wrong and is there to protect us from expectation hangovers. However, it fuels a misunderstanding that probably got seeded when we were very young that we need to give up something to get something else.  It is now our opportunity and responsibility to update our thinking.

Although it is true that sometimes we must choose one or the other, this is not true of all situations so I encourage you to challenge some of your either-or paradigms.

Ask yourself:

Is it really true I have to choose?

How is it possible to have both?

Do I actually really have both now and I’m just not seeing it?

How am I limiting myself and underestimating my creative and manifesting powers by thinking I have to give up one thing to have another?

I would love to hear what choices you are holding as an either-or’s and support you in creatively shifting them to and’s so head on over to the blog to share.

And remember . . .

You live in an abundant Universe with all the inner resources to create your “all” AND you are totally worthy of having it @christinhassler (Tweet this!) .


p.s. My next one-day workshop is Sunday August 23rd live in LA or Livestream from anywhere. This is a special event for anyone on the personal growth path. Learn how to maintain your energy, give to others without getting depleted, tap into your spirituality, step more into your purpose, and walk your talk!!

This is a great way for you to participate in the work that has been such a huge part of my path, PLUS you’ll meet my personal bodyworker and energy clearer. Details and registration here.

The live group is a limited size so go here now to grab your spot. Register with a friend and save.


    Thanks for always making me smile, your positivity and outlook are motivational. Miss ya!
    Todd from Boston:)

    • Christine Hassler

      Hey Todd :) My pleasure!

  • ArtN

    So I’m dying to know how you turned this into an AND situation? What was your solution?

    Not to be a negative nad, but I think more often, people think they CAN have it all, but in reality, they discount the degree to which the other option will be affected.

    Still, I like the idea of at least trying to come up with a way to have it all. That should be our starting point and it almost never is.

    • Christine Hassler

      Hi Art – I have just been super intentional about spending time in both places, I schedule time and make it happen. To me intention + action = having it all.

  • Tal

    I’ve been going back and forth for a long time now about so many decisions – where to live, what type of work to go into, etc. – and hearing your message just struck a chord with me. Of course! It seems to obvious now that it’s been said. I needed to hear this today. I will find a way to make my options with “and”. Thank you!!

    • Christine Hassler

      woo hoo!!! I love that you see the AND

  • Susan

    Lovely video Christine. I am living in a lovely place and travel 2 x a year, especially Christmas to see family & friends. I am having the best of both situations and enjoying being spoilt when i visit family. I am enjoying myself. Thanks for your words. X

    • Christine Hassler