How to accept where you are and move to the next level

Well this year of sweet 16 has been off to an amazing start for me and I hope it is for you too. It has been a full month of coaching and facilitating for me (lots of retreats and workshops), which inspired a new insight that I am compelled to share with you today.

After witnessing so many (including yours truly) on the path of transformation, I have noticed there are developmental phases to personal growth. It’s important to know where we are in the process so we can:

  1. Not have expectations to be further along and move into acceptance of where we are in our journey.
  2. Understand the phase that is ahead of us so we have direction in terms of where we are headed.
  3. Accept where other people are in their journey with more compassion and understanding.

Curious about what these phases are and which one you are in? Then be sure to watch today’s vlog where I explain each stage. **Note: every person is different, this is not a one-size-fits-all model but one I find fits many. You also may go back and repeat the phases when an expectation hangover triggers new awareness or new insights inspire new learning.**

Here’s a quick overview of what I explain in more detail in the vlog.

Phase One: Asleep
Most of you reading this are either past or at the end of this phase because if you were asleep, you would not resonate with my work. So, yay! You are awake!! But I bet you remember being asleep when your old story, conditioning and fears ruled you. In this phase it is common for us to play the victim and believe we do not have the power or ability to change our own life. Blame, over-responsibility, fear, and lack of fulfillment are common when we are asleep. Then something happens and we move to stage two….

Phase Two: Awakening
Usually after a good old-fashioned Expectation Hangover we reach a point where we are so disappointed or thrown off course that we wake up and start paying more attention to why we are the way we are. We begin to learn that the results in our life are not just random. This is when new tools, teachers and experiences come into our life that help us wake up. We begin to start connecting the dots of our own life. We also begin to understand that all of us on this human journey are here to learn, grow and remember who we really are. This is a time full of “ah-ha” moments – some which are exciting and some which are downright surprising.

Phase Three: Integration
This is a doozy and the longest phase because this is when we shift from knowing things to actually changing things. If you feel like you have a lot of information but things in your life are not shifting, welcome to the integration phase – it’s time to roll up your sleeves!! Awareness is not enough for transformation. We must change our belief systems & behaviors @christinhassler (TWEET THIS!) This is a time when we drop our story and upgrade our programming. It is a time when we do the courageous emotional work to heal old issues so they no longer define us. It is a time when we take all the tools we have learned and actually use them, consistently!

This is also the phase where we get a lot of do-overs, which are opportunities to respond to a similar situation in a different way. One of the most powerful ways to heal and break a pattern is when we are experiencing it. The awareness phase provides us with great “aha” moments but it often takes actually being in the kind of moments that trigger us for transformation to occur. Do-over’s are necessary for integration so that awareness moves from just a concept to something you can actually apply to change your programming. (You can read more about do-ers and get some examples here.)

Phase Four: Acceptance
We move into this phase once our programming has been shifted. We think, behave and feel different. We are not a new person, in fact, we are more authentically ourselves than ever before because limiting beliefs and old stories have been dropped. Does this mean we are totally evolved and never have anything to work on? NO! We are still human, yet we have integrated so many tools and shifted so much that when expectation hangovers happen, we move into acceptance. We stop fighting with reality and either accept it or change it. We are happy with ourselves, our lives and no longer triggered by the things we used to be triggered by.

Phase Five: Application & Service
In this phase we are not as focused on working on ourselves or changing our own lives. Instead, we are focused on a bigger vision and changing the lives of others. We feel called to share the love we feel. The truth that we are light and love is not just something we know, it is something we feel. Many people want to jump to this phase when they are actually still in the integration phase so, please, be patient with yourself and your journey. There is no “gold star” or rush when it comes to your evolution.

As I mentioned earlier, this is not a one-size-fits-all model but one I find fits many. There is not one phase that is better than the next because they all are rich with learning!!! You also may go back and repeat the phases when an expectation hangover triggers new awareness or new insights inspires new learning.

I’d love to hear if these phases resonate with you and which one you feel you are currently in. Please comment below.



p.s. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my lifehacks? The
doors to my Inner Circle are open and you can receive regular coaching from
me, learn incredible new personal growth tools and lifestyle tips, receive
a custom meditation each month, and be a part of an awesome community of
like-minded people! Go here to learn more.

  • Connie Trowbridge

    Well this was an awesome post! My husband and I were just talking about something similar!

    This vlog provided some awesome insight. I appreciate you explaining the phases. It has allowed me to take an honest look of where I’m at =)

    • Christine Hassler

      Where do you think you’re at??

      • Connie Trowbridge

        A combination of phase four and five.

        I want to just beam my freaking light to everyone and help them as much as I can! But, I’ve spent the past year really learning and growing, and I feel THIS year will be when the Universe is like, “Okay honey bunny, let’s see how much you’ve learned” and I’ll get to put into practice the tools that I’ve learned WHILE helping others.

        • Christine Hassler

          Amazing awareness!!!!!!!

  • Eli

    Never saw it that way . Nice post that made me think.
    I believe I am in phase 4 and it feels great ! I feel like a different person but like you said never felt more myself . Can’t wait for phase 5 :-)

    • Christine Hassler

      All the phases are beautiful — enjoy!

  • anonymous

    Thank you for this very helpful post.

    • Christine Hassler

      You are welcome!

  • Frantzces Lys

    When I first heard you break this down at the retreat it made perfect sense. It was great to see the stages and really understand where you are and where you could be. I’ve been in integration for some time now but I am less frustrated because I understand what it means to be there and what it will take to get to the next level. Thank you for this!

    • Christine Hassler

      Awesome!! love that you see where you are. The integration phase is juicy xoxo

  • Mark

    I just wanted to say thank you for this information and everything else you put out. I have been seeing a therapist for a couple years now in order to change my life and save my marriage and family and I really needed this today. I always felt bulldozed as a kid by my parents and it came up in my therapy yesterday. Then last night I did the same thing to one of my kids. I bulldozed right over the top of what he wanted because “I knew better”. That opportunity to do something different popped right up in my face and I blew it after I had addressed it with my therapist earlier in the day. I learned something though and I am sure that opportunity to change will come along again, as it always does regardless of my desire to avoid it. Next time I will be better prepared for it. Thank you for putting this information up so I could find it and read it today. It feels like God sent me a tender mercy today by leading me this article. I appreciate the work you do.

    • Christine Hassler

      It sounds like it was divine! Thank you for sharing and I acknoledge you for being a conscious parent.