The holidays can be stressful. The good news is, you get to decide how much stress you are willing to take this holiday season. Oftentimes we have stress because we allow ourselves to have it. We say yes to too many things, and we hold an image of perfection, and it is the perfect, perfect, perfect BS, that stresses us out. Remember there really is no stress, only stressful thoughts.
This can also be a very lonely time of year. Especially if you are not in a romantic relationship, or recently went through a breakup. There is a blessing to be found in a lonely holiday. It can be a time to turn within and nourish your relationship with spirit. We can practice self-love through the act of being kind, gentle, and accepting with ourselves. Then from a place of self-acceptance, you can set strong intentions, and take action to bring more love into your life.
In today’s incredibly moving coaching session, Daniel would like to know how to deal with anxiety when he is away from home or in social situations. He is working towards moving past the abuse he experienced in his youth, but he needs practical advice from someone who acknowledges him from a place of love.
Our call was less about the why’s of Daniel’s anxieties, and more about coaching him into the experience of connecting with his younger self. It’s his younger self that is being triggered by events, not his grown-up self.
All kinds of abuse are painful. But, you do not have to be sentenced to a lifetime of suffering, because you are not a victim. I encourage you to break the cycle of abuse by healing your own. It is time to do healing work with the younger parts of yourself, so you can mentally process what happened, and tend to the part of you that went through the experience. Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt.
If you are feeling guilt and shame about being abusive to others, your healing involves applying love to the places inside that hurt. Reach out and get support from real people. Therapists and coaches can be extremely helpful in working with you, through dealing with your abuse.
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- Is anxiety something you struggle with, especially in social situations?
- Have you mentally processed your past, but can’t seem to shake some of the feelings that went with it?
- Do you have a history of physical, mental, or emotional abuse?
- Do you tend to minimize things from your past, because they weren’t as bad as things that happened to other people?
Daniel would like Christine to help him through his anxiety in social situations, and to dismantle his protective shell.
Daniel’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- He feels physical discomfort from his anxiety.
- He is minimizing his abuse.
- He can’t seem to shift his guilt and shame.
- He needs to tend to his younger self.
- He should talk to himself from a place of love.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- He should practice the “empty chair” process, and tell himself it’s over.
- He should reassure his younger self through a handwritten a letter.
- He needs to be a loving, protective father to his younger self.
- He should visualize a safe place — his grandma’s house for example.
- He should start a meditation process.
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Work through the “Empty Chair” process, which is included in my Mastery course.
- Create a dialogue conversation with your younger self, through journaling.
- Practice visualization.
- Bring your mind back to the present moment, with meditation.
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