“How do I feel more confident?”
This is one of the most common questions I get as a coach. Self-doubt and criticism seem to be as common as breathing. We know it’s painful to doubt and criticize ourselves but we still seem to do it.
So how do we change it? How do we feel more confident? These are the questions I answer in this week’s podcast.
Developing confidence requires a combo of inner and outer shifts. On the inner level confidence comes from radical self-acceptance. That means letting go of perfectionism and caring about what other people think of you. It means not making your acceptance conditional upon achieving a certain goal, losing a certain amount of weight or having the approval or acceptance from someone else. It means really getting that NO ONE is perfect. I repeat NO ONE!
Making shifts on the outer level is equally important. Confidence is not something you can develop just by sitting in your house, thinking about all the things you will do when you feel more confident. Just like we gain courage by feeling fear and taking action anyway, we feel more confident when we actually do things we feel insecure about.
In this week’s podcast, I coach Teisha on how she feel confident and truly believe she is a prize. We also discover why confidence has been a struggle for her up until now (hint: she wasn’t ready to learn the lesson of confidence!) Listen in to hear what we discovered.
Do any of these questions resonate with you:
- Would you like to have more confidence? Do you spend more time thinking about the things you would like to do, than actually doing them?
- Are you terrified of rejection and failure?
- Did you grow up not feeling safe, loved, or seen?
- How are you at keeping your word with yourself? When you commit to something, do you actually do it?
Coaches, managers, parents, and teachers take note — I got super specific with Teisha about the action steps she was committing to. When walking someone through behavior changes, help them get clear, measurable steps they feel truly committed to.
p.s. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my lifehacks? The
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like-minded people! Go here to learn more.