This episode is about not feeling good enough. Today’s caller, Jen, knows it is not good to believe she is not good enough, but she feels her problem is insurmountable. The essence of who Jen is isn’t broken, it’s just a pattern she’s comfortable in.
Jen is experiencing a limiting belief. It shows up in a variety of ways, like her feeling not deserving, feeling broken, or not being lovable. It can lead to insecurity, people pleasing, body image issues, eating disorders, and accepting dysfunctional relationships. During the call, I allow Jen to go on for a while because I am waiting for her to ask for help.
For those of you who are being coached or in therapy — If you are more committed to keeping your story than to truly letting go of it, you are uncoachable.
We all get attached to our limiting beliefs, because they are familiar, comfortable, and often get us the attention we are seeking and the validation or sympathy for how hard life is.
There is merit to discussing our past, and healing memories. But, we must do it with vulnerability, compassion, and forgiveness so we can let it go, to get over it and on with what we want to create.
Awareness without action is merely psychological entertainment.
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- Do you struggle with not feeling good enough? Do you doubt you are worthy or capable of having the things you truly want?
- When you get close to the things you want, do you often sabotage it or doubt you can keep it?
- Do you make your ‘enoughness’ conditional?
Jen wants to know how to move past her past traumas, and change her narrative.
Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is holding on to an old pattern because it’s comfortable.
- She believes her failed relationships and loss of friends is her fault.
- She withdraws and isolates herself.
- She gets her value from external validation.
- She is not seeing her life accurately.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to commit to shifting and interrupting her ingrained patterns.
- She can stop her thoughts of not being good enough, and create a new neural net.
- She should take a lesson from the children she works with.
- She should get a photo of her younger self and talk to it.
- She should create of voice memo of positive sayings to herself.
- How attached are you to your story? Stop telling your sob story.
- Practice release writing to release emotions.
- Stop your thoughts and redirect them with the help of the ‘Whoaing’ technique in Expectation Hangover.
- Get a picture of your little one and use it as a way to generate love and self-acceptance.
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