EP 98: How Your Fear of Failure is Sabotaging Your Success with Lindsey

EP98v1This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and on with it. I coach today’s caller, Lindsey, on how to move from awareness to implementation. She knows the next steps to take but cannot figure out why she isn’t taking them. She thinks her problem is about time management, productivity, and balance but, as you will hear in the call, it’s not about that at all.

What do you think about failure? Imagine you fail, or you get a no, or your endeavor is a complete flop. What happens inside of you? What do you think and feel? Are you embarrassed?

A healthy relationship to failure is an essential ingredient to success. Failure is defined as lack of success. But defining success is more difficult because if success is learning something, growing, or having experiences that make us stronger and wiser, then we never really fail. In my opinion, the only way you fail is if you go into the hopeless, helpless victim mode.

Stop playing it safe just because you want to avoid failure. Instead of taking teeny, tiny baby steps, get out of your comfort zone, and jump in the pool so you can move forward.

You have to drop the guilt and give yourself permission to do what you want.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How are you at moving from awareness to implementation?
  • How do you feel about failure? What has been your biggest failure to date?
  • What steps do you know you should take, but don’t seem to be taking?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey would like to know how to take action and use her time more wisely.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She lives in an Expectation Hangover.
  • She’s never made a step without having a plan in place.
  • She’s feeling paralysis from analysis.
  • The fear of change is holding her back.
  • There is a piece of her that remains unfulfilled.
  • She knows the status quo will lead to regret and remorse.
  • She has a fear that no one will want to work with her.
  • She feels guilty about her lack of focus.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
  • She needs to take steps that don’t threaten her sense of security but are still out of her comfort zone.
  • She needs to write out the expectations she makes of herself and then create agreements with herself.

Takeaways:

  • Take a risk and let yourself fail.
  • Write down your expectations and then make agreements with yourself, and stick to them.
  • Give yourself permission to go for your dreams, even if it means failing.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Primal Blueprint

Tweetables:

People who are planners have big daydreams but don’t take action, because they don’t like uncertainty.… Click To Tweet

Only you can decide the level of risk you are willing to tolerate, but the higher the risk, the higher the reward.… Click To Tweet

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from taking action. You can leverage your failures as learning opportunities.… Click To Tweet

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  • Polina

    There were so many aha moments for me in this call. Like the whole theme of never being fully present (“whatever you are doing, you are thinking you should be doing something else”). I totally recognized myself when Lindsey said she couldn’t give herself permission to do what she wanted. Or fooling myself thinking I’m moving forward while in fact those teeny tiny baby steps don’t bring me anywhere. I know I have totally unrealistic expectations upon myself, and I already made a list of all the things I think I should be doing – a scary-looking, overwhelming list of three pages A4 size – but I didn’t really know what to do with the list at that time. It was such a relief to hear that I can create realistic agreements around it and as long as I keep those agreements, there’s no need to feel guilt. I am now committed to complete the process, stop feeling guilty and free some room for magic in my life :) Thank you Christine

    • http://www.christinehassler.com/ Christine Hassler

      Polina, I am so happy to hear how much this coaching and episode spoke to you. I am doing the happy dance knowing that you are releasing feelings of self-guilt. Keep me updated about the magic you co-create

  • https://www.metimematters.com Dianne

    This lady was telling my story! Except I don’t have children… otherwise it was me. I’ve never let myself fail at anything! I’ve been wanting to start an online business and have been trying to to decide on the perfect business model and have not been able to get past the fear and just do something. I completed a uni degree but still don’t have the courage to step out. This has been a wake up call. I need to step up and take the risk to start. I need to give myself permission to fail. Thanks so much Christine. I’m sure I will listen to this again!

    • http://www.christinehassler.com/ Christine Hassler

      Dianne, I love when the Universe works like this and it sounds Divine that you heard this message when you did! I love that you are giving yourself permission to fail!