EP 130: Heal Daddy Issues and Create Authentic Relationships with Marie


This call is about speaking your truth and being authentic in dating. Today’s caller, Marie, calls in wanting to know how to break off a bad relationship but it turns out she needs to heal old wounds from her relationship with her father.

If you are asking yourself, how do I stop dating the same person with a different face? You should know that when we are born we know we are connected to a higher power and we know that we are unconditionally loved. Then, our conscious mind takes over and we lose a bit of our antenna and we project ‘God,’ or the source of unconditional love, on to our parents. If they don’t or are unable to give us unconditional love, we search for it through our relationships.

If you have been yearning for love and feel unlovable your story will create your reality. Emotional availability is not just about vulnerability, it is about honesty and speaking your truth.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you keep dating the same person with a different face?
  • Are you pretending in any of your relationships? Are you a chameleon? Are you being more strategic than authentic?
  • Do you doubt your ability to be loved?
  • Are you hoping someday a parent will show up differently for you than they have in the past?
  • Do you have the relationships you crave or do you have relationships you hope one day will turn into what you want?

Marie’s Question:

Marie has become obsessed with a relationship she knows she should end and wants to know how to get over it and on with it.

Marie’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She has experienced a lot of heartache.
  • She believes men just leave relationships.
  • She doesn’t have a close relationship with her father.
  • She has issue-based relationships.
  • She is looking for emotional relief from her dad.
  • She continues to chase emotional intimacy.
  • She’s emotionally unavailable.
  • She doesn’t let people see the real Marie.
  • She has yearned for male attention her entire life.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should write a letter and speak her truth to her father.
  • She should start having an authentic, emotionally honest relationship with her father.
  • She should break her patterns of pretending in relationships.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Take an inventory of your relationships. Where are you being strategic versus authentic?
  • Start to have honest, vulnerable communication with the people in your life.
  • If you are obsessing about someone, consider what lesson your discomfort is leading you toward.
  • When it comes to change, healing, and making your dreams come true, don’t just be helpful — be committed.


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  • Amy Beard

    Wow! I just can’t stress enough how much this impacted me. I can’t wait to get home and listen to it again where I can take better notes. I’m obsessing over the man who I gave up my entire life to be with and moved across the world for to New Zealand. I went back twice to be with him and now suddenly after love, love, love, come back, etc. he has out of the blue dumped me via a text message to my sister. I am to say the least a complete mess inspire if knowing that we weren’t a good match. He wasn’t what I want or need. I should be thrilled that he threw me away with no explanation, but I’m hurting and obsessing and trying to manipulate my way back in. So self destructive. I know the issues I’m dealing with go back to my dad, but the problem is that I have so very few memories of my childhood that I wouldn’t know where to start in speaking to my dad about them and what I need to say. I just don’t know how to go about the discussion I so obviously need to have with him. He has remarried and is seldom heard from or seen. I think I have at least four years worth of Father’s Day and birthday cards for him stacked away. He’s been promising me lunch for over two years. I’m just a mess and really want to get my life back and be able to find a healthy partner and way of life. So grateful for this episode. I just hope that I can figure out how to follow through and find closure and release. Mahalo!