Oh no, this again?

Do you ever feel as if you have really healed an issue or gotten to the other side of a difficult situation and then WHAM something happens and all of a sudden you feel like you are back at the beginning?

Are we ever done? Do things get easier? Is it possible to truly be free of something that has plagued us for decades?

No, yes and yes.

No we are never done. Life is a continual process of learning and growing. But, yes, things do get easier and, yes, we can truly be free of things that have haunted us for a lifetime. Some things just take longer than others and we need multiple lessons.

Also, a lot of issues have many layers to them and our psyche can only deal with so much a time. The way I have seen healing work is that we have times of tremendous breakthroughs that carry us for a while and then, when we are ready for the next layer to be revealed and healed, a triggering event will occur to move us to the next level in our growth.

I recently had an experience where a very old and familiar button got pushed and it is one of my biggest buttons: rejection. It was unexpected but hauntingly familiar.

This time instead of getting sad, I got mad. I was so over that button being pushed in the way it was pushed that I went into that “No, not this again” kind of feeling. At first I tried to resist it but as we all know, that is not effective. I had to put my life coach hat on and remind myself that there must be another level of healing for me to get to with this particular issue. When an old, familiar button gets pushed it just means the button is still there.

What I realized is that once again I was taking the rejection personally instead of seeing that it was happening for me and could have been the result of the other person’s fear or limiting beliefs. In other words, maybe it had nothing to do with me.  Now I can get that mentally but embracing that concept has been challenging for me. So I channeled my anger into being mad at the fact that I have given my power away so many times when I took rejection personally. Let me emphasize, I did not direct anger at myself (never direct anger at yourself). Rather, I expressed how angry I was about allowing others to ever make me question my own worthiness.

The next level for me was reaching an even deeper level of empowerment and trust that whatever is not for my Highest Good will not happen. This level also required letting go of attachment. (I wrote about that last week so if you missed that blog, read it here)

So if you can relate to the feeling, “Oh no not this again” I assure you that you are on the precipice of your next upleveling!!  Do not buy into the misunderstanding that you are backtracking because you are not. There is another layer to explore that you are ready for . . . now all you need to do is be willing to explore it. Stop resisting. Stop judging. Stop being frustrated that you are working on the same issue because it is not exactly the same, it is occurring in a new way so you can learn something new.

Our biggest, most recurring issues and triggers are also our biggest growth opportunities, so embrace them! (Tweet This!!!) Welcome the familiar trigger because it means deep down you really want to relate to it differently and the only way we can relate to things differently is through practical application. In other words, to truly be free of our deepest pain, we draw in situations that trigger it until we learn how to relate to the trigger in a way that does not cause us pain.

Now is the time to flood yourself with so much compassion. Be a student rather than a victim of your life. Trust you are moving forward and be grateful for every triggering experience that is catalyzing your growth!

Questions? Comments? I am here to help! Please post below.

Much love,

Christine

P.S. Do you feel really stuck in your head and really want to listen to your heart and intuition but cannot seem to hear it? Then don’t miss episode 136 of my podcast where I coach Emma on moving from rational thinking to feeling and compassion.  Learn how to stop “figuring it out” and start feeling into what is most aligned for you.  Go here to listen. 

P.P.S. If you have been wanting to be coached on the podcast, I have exciting news!!! Coming up, on May 24th, you are invited to apply to receive free coaching and be a guest for our in-studio shoot hosted in San Diego, CA.
Please email jill@christinehassler.com and let her know you are interested in applying to be a guest!

P.P.P.S. Have you been wanting to take your coaching business to the next level? Them make sure to register for my Masterclass Training for Coaches, June 30th and July 1st in San Diego, CA. You will learn to..

  • Turn your passion into a career: spring into revenue building action with practical and personal guidance.
  • Make money as a coach: specific money-making techniques take your coaching aspirations from pipe-dream to profit.
  • Become a better salesperson: gain confidence and get better at enrolling clients; learn how to turn top objections into coachable moments.
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  • J

    Oh my gosh, I had the exact same experience last week! I got rejected and I couldn’t believe it cause I had DONE THE WORK! Isn’t everything rainbows and butterflies once you heal yourself? In my head I knew I loved myself and felt worthy, but couldn’t understand why I felt so badly. It made me doubt my self love so much I started going into super health overload (yoga, meditation, juicing, etc). It felt like I was forcing myself to love myself more. Once I realized it was simply because I was making someone else’s stuff about me when it was really about them, everything lifted. I still feel sad about the loss but it feels way less detrimental. What a lesson! Thanks for sharing, Christine!

    • http://www.christinehassler.com/ Christine Hassler

      Seems like this was Divinely timed for you and YES it is rarely about us:) Keep feeling your feelings. xo

  • http://www.enjoyingeudaimonia.com/ DianaGY

    Thank you so much for this! I just sent out an email to a potential employer that was less than perfect. I answered a question they had not asked and it kind of sounds like I’m settling by applying with them. A while later I started to panic!

    The reminder that I’ll get whatever is in my highest good calmed me down. Plus a friend reminded me that the problem with doing new things is that we’re liable to make mistakes.

    • http://www.christinehassler.com/ Christine Hassler

      Yes! And when you are asking the question, “What can I learn?” it allows you to be in a growth mindset vs. a victim mindset or moving into judgement.

  • Jamie Wendling

    Wow, did I ever need to read this today; Once again, rejection. I have been getting to know/chatting with a man for well over a month and we both were very interested in one another. We met Saturday for our first date and it could not have gone any better. Probably the best date I have ever had and he agreed. I heard from him Sunday & Monday, but come Tuesday and yesterday not so much- Once again, I’m being ‘ghosted’ for no good reason. Its very hard not to take this personally after it happening so many times. Tons of emotions and tons of questions- just trying to stay mindful and know that it isn’t me with the issue; if someone can consciously ignore someone for no particular reason or because it’s easier then I need to realize they are the one with the real problem/issue. Its just so much easier said than done.

  • Hilary

    My goodness, I needed to hear this today. I am a coach, a self-love coach of all things, lol and realized there’s so much more healing I need to do with my heart. I was giving myself a hard time over feeling a sense of overwhelming sadness about a breakup I had almost two years ago now. I have done the work. For two years I have worked with coach, dug deep, journaled, held, listened, loved, thought positively, allowed for sadness to move through and and then today, a big trigger hit and it totally felt like I was back at the start again. I had the thoughts of, omg when is this going to be over, when am I going to be over this because I also know it’s holding me back from moving on with another while my ex is continuing his life with another. I am still questioning why I am holding on and affected by this all this time later, but I SO appreciate looking at it from a next layer of healing. Thank you!

    • http://www.christinehassler.com/ Christine Hassler

      Hilary, all the work you are doing is all part of the process. I think this article might help you too: https://christinehassler.com/2016/01/five-phases-of-personal-growth/ Remember growth is not linear.

      • Jamie Wendling

        Thank you so much Christine. I will take all the insight and help I can get. Thank you for all you do for me & so many others. Sometimes people just flat out suck! :)