138: Finding Yourself Again After Years of Feeling Lost with Staci

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This call is about is about how beliefs we form at a young age, after a tragic event, can significantly impact our lives even decades later. Today’s caller, Staci feels lost in her career and wants more out of life. This coaching session is an example of how detrimental it can be to suck our feelings inside and how it leads to limiting beliefs and the feeling of being lost.

Beliefs that we form at a young age can significantly impact our lives even decades later. When an emotional reaction to something is extreme or out of proportion to what is actually happening at the moment. It is an indication that an old, unresolved wound has been triggered.

In life, there is what happens and then, what we make it mean. The decisions and beliefs we form around pain can perpetuate the pain. We have to accept that painful things have happened and let go of the adaptive persona we created because of it.

This coaching session reveals that time does not heal all wounds. Which is why sweeping something under the rug, trying to be strong, distracting yourself or taking a spiritual bypass out of a difficult event, does not work. When Expectation Hangovers happen, when something doesn’t go according to plan or life throws you an unexpected, tragic curveball, it is important to ‘feel, deal and heal.’  Don’t wait years or decades later to move into acceptance.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel lost in life?
  • Did you experience a loss or a tragedy in your life and haven’t quite moved into acceptance of it?
  • Do you feel as if you know who you authentically are?
  • Are you aware that there is a past trauma or incident that you are still carrying around today? Does it still bring up a lot of emotion?

Staci’s Question:

Staci feels lost in her career and wants more out of life.

Staci’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels lost.
  • She lost her sister at age 9.
  • Her demeanor changed and she created limiting beliefs after her sister died.
  • She doesn’t feel she deserves to be alive.
  • She has paired feeling responsible with loss and tragedy.
  • She lost her orientation of who she is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to give her true self permission to resurface.
  • She needs to release her self-imposed punishment.
  • She needs to accept herself from the inside out.
  • She needs to find a personal counselor or therapist.
  • She should fully embrace being alive.
  • She should write a compassionate letter and connect with her 9-year-old self.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • With grief, go through the stages. If you are having trouble getting to acceptance, look at what you are making what you are grieving about mean.
  • If you didn’t have a loss in your life, do you think that you have created a persona or way of being that’s not authentic to you to get love or validation? If so, it’s time to rediscover yourself.
  • Get help. Get a guide. Talk with a trained professional.
  • If you notice your emotional reaction to something is out of proportion to what is actually happening, consider that something from your past you haven’t dealt with yet has been triggered. Work through Expectation Hangover.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Ep:134 — How to Get an Ex Out of Your Head with Andrea

Tweetables:

What is the payoff you receive by holding on to your pain and limiting beliefs?… Click To Tweet When something doesn’t go according to plan or life throws you an unexpected, tragic curveball… Click To Tweet The wonderful thing about the human spirit, mind, and soul is that we are able to shift our… Click To Tweet

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