Ever love someone so much it literally hurts to see them suffer and your heart just breaks?
Ever feel like you have so much empathy for others, even strangers, that you cannot help but take in their pain?
I get it. As a sensitive and empathic person, I feel deeply. So much so that for years I had third eye migraines because I did not want to “see” other people’s pain. But thanks to many amazing spiritual teachers I have learned the difference between sympathy and compassion.
That distinction was incredibly important for me to remember recently as I witnessed someone I love in a lot of pain. It was so hard to see this person suffering. My heart literally hurt. I wanted to fix, solve, rescue – anything to make their pain stop. But I couldn’t. The only thing I could do, the only loving thing I could do, was just hold a space of unconditional love and compassion. I share more about this in today’s vlog.
Let’s talk about finding the “one” – you know that magical person that is your soul mate. Your other half. The one who completes you. The one that you will run in slow motion through a field of sunflowers to and when you kiss fireworks will go off!
Okay so you probably detect a bit of sarcasm. And the sarcasm isn’t there because I am jaded or don’t believe in love. I LOVE romance and love.
What I don’t love is the some of the misunderstandings around soul mates and the pain many of us endure when it comes to romantic relationships.
Why are romantic relationships – everything from the pursuit of them to being in them to break-ups – so painful sometimes?
These are the questions I answer in this week’s podcast episode with Michael as well as share one of my personal experiences with seeking “the one”.
We are all each others teachers and in ALL our relationships from family to colleagues to friends to romantic partners, there are going to be times when our buttons get pushed. When someone does something that affects you in a negative way, what is your response? Do you lash back and attempt to get even? Do you stuff your feelings away and stew in your upset? Do you stand strong in your opinion that you are right and they are wrong and wait for them to apologize? Or is it a combination of all three?
I recently served as someone’s button pusher after I made a request of him that he found upsetting. Caught off guard, the coach/nurturer in me immediately wanted to make it better. However, I know that the best thing to do when I’ve pushed someone’s buttons (which consequently push my own buttons of fearing that I am not liked) is to take responsibility for myself and give the other person space.
Fortunately he is someone who is committed to growth and took the time he needed to process what happened. When he called me the next day to explain how my request made him feel, what it triggered, share what he learned and make a request of me, it was done from an incredibly authentic and neutral place. There was no blame. That made it possible for me to really hear and understand, communicate vulnerably my experience, and be totally open and willing to meet his request.
This beautiful communication was possible because we both chose to take personal responsibility rather than taking things personally.