This episode is about obsessive thinking and anxiety. Today’s caller, Megan, wants to know why she obsesses over things such as decisions, relationships, and her body image. She would like guidance on how to shift her patterns but feels she may always have anxiety. We dial back the clock to discover why she adopted it as a coping strategy and work through how she can empower herself so her anxiety can be an alarm instead of a constraint.

One of the best things the mind does to deal with anxiety in the body is to obsess because it is a distraction and keeps us from feeling the physiological discomfort in the body. Anxiety is energy that is fast buzzing energy. This frenetic energy is in our minds and our nervous systems. It can be really overwhelming so we develop ways to do something with it or to turn it into something. When we obsess over things and think about things over and over and over again, it’s the way the mind is trying to deal with all that frenetic energy.

Obsessive thinking is a coping strategy. If we look at those patterns as alarm systems, have compassion for ourselves, and understand there is nothing wrong with us, it is easier to shift patterns like anxiety and obsessive thinking that are not serving us.

The hardest things to change about ourselves are the things that are protecting us. The patterns cling to us because they believe they are helping us like they had in our childhood.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are there things in your life you obsess about or just can’t stop thinking about?
• Do you obsess about your body, what people are thinking about you, or your dating experiences?
• Did you grow up with an anxious parent?
• Do you doubt your self-worth?
• Do you fear you will never be able to change the patterns you don’t like or judge yourself over?

Megan’s Question:

Megan has a pattern of obsessing over things in her life and would like guidance on how to shift her obsessive thinking and to become more empowered.

Megan’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She obsesses over body image issues, men, and romantic relationships.
• She feels her anxiety is robbing her sense of inner peace.
• She has done personal development work.
• She believes she has always had anxiety.
• Her mother was hard to predict and inconsistent.
• She gets frustrated trying to shift her patterns.
• She fears she will always have anxiety.
• She doesn’t speak up for herself or set self-honoring boundaries.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Be compassionate and make friends with her obsessions.
• Make a list of the things she is certain of and has control over in her life.
• Surrender and accept that her anxiety is trying to protect her from getting hurt.
• Focus on meeting her needs and speaking her truth by empowering herself.
• Listen to the Coaches Corner How to Navigate, Resolve, and Prevent Conflict with Jayson Gaddis.

Takeaways:

• When you feel anxiety, consider the highest purpose of your obsessiveness. How is it serving you?
• Do not put a label on yourself. Empower yourself to react to things differently.

Resources:

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Tweetables:

When you see your patterns as learned behaviors is it easier to recognize that they are not who you are. Click To Tweet An inconsistent parent equals patterns of uncertainty and feeling out of control in children. Control is how we get certainty. Click To Tweet The more empowered you feel the less you need to obsess. Click To Tweet