Tag Archives: acceptance

138: Finding Yourself Again After Years of Feeling Lost with Staci

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This call is about is about how beliefs we form at a young age, after a tragic event, can significantly impact our lives even decades later. Today’s caller, Staci feels lost in her career and wants more out of life. This coaching session is an example of how detrimental it can be to suck our feelings inside and how it leads to limiting beliefs and the feeling of being lost.

Beliefs that we form at a young age can significantly impact our lives even decades later. When an emotional reaction to something is extreme or out of proportion to what is actually happening at the moment. It is an indication that an old, unresolved wound has been triggered.

In life, there is what happens and then, what we make it mean. The decisions and beliefs we form around pain can perpetuate the pain. We have to accept that painful things have happened and let go of the adaptive persona we created because of it.

This coaching session reveals that time does not heal all wounds. Which is why sweeping something under the rug, trying to be strong, distracting yourself or taking a spiritual bypass out of a difficult event, does not work. When Expectation Hangovers happen, when something doesn’t go according to plan or life throws you an unexpected, tragic curveball, it is important to ‘feel, deal and heal.’  Don’t wait years or decades later to move into acceptance.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel lost in life?
  • Did you experience a loss or a tragedy in your life and haven’t quite moved into acceptance of it?
  • Do you feel as if you know who you authentically are?
  • Are you aware that there is a past trauma or incident that you are still carrying around today? Does it still bring up a lot of emotion?

Staci’s Question:

Staci feels lost in her career and wants more out of life.

Staci’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She feels lost.
  • She lost her sister at age 9.
  • Her demeanor changed and she created limiting beliefs after her sister died.
  • She doesn’t feel she deserves to be alive.
  • She has paired feeling responsible with loss and tragedy.
  • She lost her orientation of who she is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to give her true self permission to resurface.
  • She needs to release her self-imposed punishment.
  • She needs to accept herself from the inside out.
  • She needs to find a personal counselor or therapist.
  • She should fully embrace being alive.
  • She should write a compassionate letter and connect with her 9-year-old self.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • With grief, go through the stages. If you are having trouble getting to acceptance, look at what you are making what you are grieving about mean.
  • If you didn’t have a loss in your life, do you think that you have created a persona or way of being that’s not authentic to you to get love or validation? If so, it’s time to rediscover yourself.
  • Get help. Get a guide. Talk with a trained professional.
  • If you notice your emotional reaction to something is out of proportion to what is actually happening, consider that something from your past you haven’t dealt with yet has been triggered. Work through Expectation Hangover.


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Ep:134 — How to Get an Ex Out of Your Head with Andrea


What is the payoff you receive by holding on to your pain and limiting beliefs?… Click To Tweet When something doesn’t go according to plan or life throws you an unexpected, tragic curveball… Click To Tweet The wonderful thing about the human spirit, mind, and soul is that we are able to shift our… Click To Tweet



EP 60: Feel Self-Worth and Acceptance Even When You Want to Change Something About Yourself (Like Your Physical Appearance or Weight) with Gabby

EP60v1Are you hard on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance? Do you do something, and then immediately wish you had done it differently? Many of us allow our inner critics to expend energy on low-frequency, physically exhausting, nasty, self-defeating self-talk. You may not realize it, but your self-talk influences the way other people receive you. If you are happy and filled with self-acceptance, you send out a good vibe. If you are negative or hard on yourself, you can suck the life right out of the room.

Today’s caller, Gabby, is struggling with her weight and self-worth. She is clinging to the away-from-motivation of ‘if only I this,’ and ‘if only I that,’ instead of using toward-motivation, to get what she really wants.

During the call, Gabby’s energy shifts as soon as we discuss creativity and connection. This toward-motivation practice allows her to focus her energy on what she wants to bring into her life, instead of what she wants to move away from. This practice is sustainable, because she is focusing her energy on a positive outcome instead of a negative one.

Obsessing about appearance and weight is a waste of energy. If weight is something you struggle with read my book, Expectation Hangover, and:

  • Find a new way to soothe yourself.
  • Get a new way to feed your soul.
  • Commit and take actions towards your commitments.
  • Stop making your weight mean something negative about you.

You are enough. You are lovable. You can change and heal anything in your life.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you making your self-worth and acceptance conditional?
  • Do you struggle with body image issues? Has losing weight been a constant theme in your life?
  • Does fear of rejection haunt you? Does it keep you from taking risks?
  • What are the sneaky ways you’re being selfish in your life?

Gabby’s Question:

Gabby has felt rejected a lot lately and would like to know how she can not worry so much about what others think.

Gabby’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels undesirable and fears she is not good enough.
  • She has body image issues.
  • Food is her only source of pleasure.
  • She is self-obsessed.
  • She is jeopardizing her relationships by making everything about her.
  • She may be attracting rejection into her life when she does, because of her self-rejection.
  • She hasn’t asked God to love and support her in dealing with her issue.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should stop waiting for external validation to find her confidence.
  • She should realize she is not alone in how she feels.
  • She should create a joy and creativity plan for herself.
  • She should be present, curious, and connected in an authentic way.
  • She could ask God for assistance in letting go of her obsession with her weight.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • If there is something you want to shift in your life, make a list of your ‘toward’ motivations.
  • Make a list of what you are committed to, and get an accountability partner.
  • Take on a role to shift your confidence, and change the way you see yourself.
  • Pray for help with your growth. Ask for help in making the shifts in knowing who you truly are.


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EP 55: How to Accept What Seems Impossible to Accept with Aly

Copy of EP55v1Do you relate to yourself as a constant self-improvement project and find yourself overdosing on personal growth? Maybe, you should take a little break to enjoy life. Being in a state of learning and growing is different than coming from a place of “I need to fix me”. You can not be fixed because you are not broken.

Self-love includes accepting and being gentle with our inner critic when it pops up. We are human. We are not going to love everything about ourselves at all times. Self-love is a daily practice of forgiving ourselves so we can take responsibility for our actions without beating ourselves up.

Today’s caller, Aly, wants to move into acceptance of an illness but she is attempting to do it with a lot of judgment about herself and not from a place of love.

Women endure a lot of negative energy and pain about their bodies. Practice appreciation over criticism and pay attention to the gifts your body brings, rather than the way it looks. If you really want your body to look different, commit to treating it differently. Be mindful of the food and substances you fuel it with. Be committed to moving it in a way that keeps it healthy and fit. Our relationship with our bodies boils down to choices.

If you have a disorder, illness or are going through a job loss, what are you making it mean about you? We can not always control what happens to us but we can control what we make it mean. You can approach it from the orientation of being a true seeker rather than a fix-it project. Being a constant learner allows you to look at the most challenging things in your life through the lens of “What is my soul seeking to learn from this?”

And, be cautious of always being right about your story. Be honest with yourself about how attached you are to your story. Often, people don’t think they are able to change their story, but they may just be attached to it. We need to believe we have the power to shift our relationship to our stories. Pay attention to your “if-then” scenarios. Believing in “When I do this, I will be that” is conditional acceptance.

I am putting together all of my best tools and resources for you. My video course is coming out in October and it will focus on acceptance — because acceptance is the first law of spirit. My gift to you is to be on the list for the first announcement and for the early bird discount. Visit ChristineHassler.com/VIPlist to sign up.  

Australia friends, I will be in Sydney from September 27 – October 6. I am scheduling one-on-one sessions, half-day intensives and full day intensives. Sunday, October 2nd, I will be leading a workshop on building a meaningful and profitable business with heart. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for my scheduled openings.

Also, applications are available for my Secret Sauce program which can help you take your business to the next level. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for program details.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you see yourself as a constant self-improvement project?
  • Do you approach self-love with an all or nothing attitude?
  • Are you hard on yourself — Especially your body?
  • Is there something you are attempting to get rid of by sweeping it under the rug or hating it?

Aly’s Question:

Aly has spent many years trying to get rid of chronic disease and would like to know how to accept it and get unstuck.

Aly’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels she is not good enough
  • She can’t seem to accept who she is
  • She is afraid to be happy
  • She uses her weight as a happiness meter
  • She abuses herself and feels guilty about it

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to realize she is not broken
  • She should get the anger out by writing letters to the guys who broke her heart
  • She should write an apology letter to her body
  • She should give her body a love bath every morning
  • By realizing she is proud of herself

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Give yourself permission to write an F-U letter — write it and then destroy it.
  • Write an apology letter to your body using these sentence stems:
    • I’m sorry because…
    • I’m learning from you that…
    • I forgive myself for…
    • I forgive you, body, for…
  • Give yourself a body love bath.
  • Make self-honoring choices and make new agreements with yourself.


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How to accept where you are and move to the next level

Well this year of sweet 16 has been off to an amazing start for me and I hope it is for you too. It has been a full month of coaching and facilitating for me (lots of retreats and workshops), which inspired a new insight that I am compelled to share with you today.

After witnessing so many (including yours truly) on the path of transformation, I have noticed there are developmental phases to personal growth. It’s important to know where we are in the process so we can:

  1. Not have expectations to be further along and move into acceptance of where we are in our journey.
  2. Understand the phase that is ahead of us so we have direction in terms of where we are headed.
  3. Accept where other people are in their journey with more compassion and understanding.

Curious about what these phases are and which one you are in? Then be sure to watch today’s vlog where I explain each stage. **Note: every person is different, this is not a one-size-fits-all model but one I find fits many. You also may go back and repeat the phases when an expectation hangover triggers new awareness or new insights inspire new learning.**

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