Tag Archives: anxiety

EP 101: How Do I Take Action When I Have Anxiety and Fear? With Suzanne

EP101

This episode is about taking action when faced with fear and anxiety. I coach today’s caller, Suzanne, through her pattern of catastrophic thinking, worry, and anxiety, to allow her to respond differently to her fear-based thoughts. If you can relate to feeling like fear and anxiety stops you, or if you are a bit of a worrywart, you will receive a lot of value out of this coaching session.

Worry is using our mind to come up with and visualize worst case scenarios, instead of using the power of our mind to visualize what we truly want to occur.

On some level, we think it’s protecting us or keeping us safe. But all it’s doing is creating more anxiety.

When we feel fear, it’s important that we first be with the part of us that feels scared and anxious. When we get scared as adults, we need to learn how to respond to it in a way that feels reassuring. A big part of this can be addressed by self-soothing. Most of the ways we attempt to soothe ourselves are not about soothing at all. We may be numbing or distracting ourselves. We run away from the fear by working, eating, sedating ourselves with drugs or alcohol, or using social media for hours.

But the more we ignore it, the bigger the monster becomes, so instead of running from your fear, face it head on. It doesn’t mean you have to conquer it, just be with it. What does it need from you? If the fear has a message for you, what’s the message? Can you trust yourself to sit with it rather than run? Tell yourself you are safe, and that everything is OK. Be a reassuring voice to yourself.

As you will hear in the call, Suzanne’s sense of self, and ability to feel safe regardless of external conditions, wasn’t developed, so she didn’t feel safe when she was outside of her home.

Like many of us, Suzanne said she understood my coaching intellectually but she still found it hard to shift in the moment. But, it’s the follow-through that matters.

That’s why I designed my Inner Circle membership community to focus on a certain quality every month. We focus on moving something from awareness into integration. So change actually happens. It’s more than learning concepts, you learn to integrate what you are learning into your life.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you worry a lot? Do you have a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, or have a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  • Do you think that preparing for the worst protects you from being disappointed?
  • Did something challenging, traumatic or catastrophic happen to you as a kid, so you live with nervous anticipation that something bad will happen again?
  • How are you soothing yourself when you go into fear, anxiety, or panic? Are you able to calm yourself down? What are your coping mechanisms?

Suzanne’s Question:

Suzanne wants to know how to take action when she feels crippled by anxiety.

Suzanne’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a catastrophic thinker.
  • She doesn’t deal with losses well.
  • She didn’t feel emotionally safe as a child.
  • She had an eating disorder in college.
  • She surrounds herself with mentally stable people.
  • She tries to put her emotional health first.
  • She practices negative self-talk.
  • She seeks reassurance from outside herself.
  • She lets her mind run the show.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should find a new way to relate to herself to get a consistent experience.
  • She needs to acknowledge when she is in the midst of catastrophic thinking, and practice self-soothing techniques.
  • She should do the Release Writing exercise from Expectation Hangover.
  • She should practice Kundalini shaking to get rid her nervous energy.
  • She should start owning who she is, what she feels and what she loves about herself.

Takeaways:

  • Find a way to self-soothe, read “My Best Tips for Reducing Anxiety” about calming yourself down and dealing with anxiety.
  • Make sure your sense of self is not externally referenced. Look at where you are projecting a feeling of safety. Do you feel like you need to get it from an outside source?
  • Imagine your best-case scenarios — instead of using your imagination to imagine things all the things you don’t want, imagine all the things you do want.
  • The Future Forecasting exercise in Expectation Hangover is a great way to start visioning your best-case scenarios.
  • Allow yourself to get excited about things!

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Podcast One

Tweetables:

Worry is using your mind to come up with and visualize worst-case scenarios. It’s a poor use of your imagination.… Click To Tweet

External conditions should not dictate how you feel inside. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

The more ways you need to make you feel safe and calm the less you need anxiety.… Click To Tweet

podcastb

How to take action when there’s anxiety and fear 

There are things you want to do.  You want to start dating. You long to speak your truth.  You are so ready to quit your job. You crave putting your art, words or message out in the world.

Yet something stops you. And it’s not even some external obstacle. It’s your own anxiety, worry or fear.  You imagine the worst-case scenario or engage in paralysis by analysis all in an attempt to calm your concerns, yet this just makes them worse!

So how do you take action when so much doubt and fear is in the way? This is exactly what I coach Suzanne on in this week’s episode of Over It and On With It. She has a pattern of catastrophic thinking, worry, and anxiety that is keeping her from living the life she longs for. If you can relate, you will receive a lot of value out of this coaching session.

Go here to listen to Episode 101 with Suzanne!

Worry is using our mind to come up with and visualize worst-case scenarios, instead of using the power of our mind to visualize what we truly want to occur. On some level, we think it’s protecting us or keeping us safe. But all it’s doing is creating more anxiety.

When we feel fear, it’s important that we first be with the part of us that feels scared and anxious. When we get scared as adults, we need to learn how to respond to it in a way that feels reassuring. A big part of this can be addressed by self-soothing. Most of the ways we attempt to soothe ourselves are not about soothing at all. We may be numbing or distracting ourselves. We run away from the fear by working, eating, sedating ourselves with drugs or alcohol, or using social media for hours.

But the more we ignore it, the bigger the “monster in our closet” becomes, so instead of running from your fear, face it head on. It doesn’t mean you have to conquer it, just be with it. What does it need from you? If the fear has a message for you, what’s the message? Can you trust yourself to sit with it rather than run? Be a reassuring voice to yourself. Tell yourself you are safe, and that everything is OK. 

As you will hear in the call, Suzanne’s sense of self, and ability to feel safe regardless of external conditions, wasn’t developed, so she didn’t feel safe when she was outside of her home.

Like many of us, Suzanne said she understood my coaching intellectually but she still found it hard to shift in the moment. But, it’s the follow-through that matters.

That’s why I designed my Inner Circle membership community to focus on a certain quality every month. We focus on moving something from awareness into integration. So change actually happens. It’s more than learning concepts, you learn to apply them and create changes in your life.  Go here for more on how to join us.

Today I invite you to consider:

  • Do you worry a lot? Do you have a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, or have a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  • Do you think that preparing for the worst protects you from being disappointed?
  • Did something challenging, traumatic or catastrophic happen to you as a kid, so you live with nervous anticipation that something bad will happen again?
  • How are you soothing yourself when you go into fear, anxiety, or panic? Are you able to calm yourself down? What are your coping mechanisms?

Be sure not to miss my coaching session with Suzanne as I coach her (and you) out of a self-imposed prison of worry, fear and anxiety!  Go here to listen now.

And remember: Worry is a poor use of your imagination! Use your imagination to visualize what you truly desire instead (tweet this!)

With love,

Christine

My best tips reducing anxiety

I love this quote from Wayne Dyer:

There is no stress in the world, only people thinking stressful thoughts.

You probably get that intellectually but life sure can feel stressful especially when are our to do lists are endless or we are experiencing some kind of expectation hangover.

One of the chief complaints I hear from people is that they are stressed out which creates anxiety.   Anxiety is a terrible feeling to have. It revs up our nervous system, puts stress on our body and disconnects us from our intuition.

To help you release anxiety and reduce the amount you think stressful thoughts, I made you a video sharing my best de-stressing techniques.

Keep this core principle in mind: you will only feel anxiety when your thoughts are in the future.  The best way to reduce stress in your life is to keep yourself in the present moment as much as possible.  And if your mind does wander to the future, at least make what you are thinking about a best-case scenario!  Creating worst-case scenarios with worry is using your imagination poorly.  Keep your thoughts positive and supportive.

In the video, I teach you a little about your brain and the fight or flight response that gets activated whenever we feel stress.  I share some physical practices you can do anytime you feel anxiety to calm your nervous system down so your brain stops creating stress hormones.

I hope you find these tools useful. Please head over to the blog and share your comments, questions or de-stressing techniques with me. I love hearing from you!

And remember: There is no stress, there are only stressful thoughts.  ((Tweet this!!))

Love,
Christine

p.s.  Having a solid support system and like-minded tribe is a great way to reduce anxiety and stress because you have a place to vent, receive compassion and guidance. That is one of the main intentions of my Inner Circle membership community. It is a safe space to for you to share and get helpful tools to navigate any stress in your life.  Learn more here or email jill@christinehassler.com to set up a call and discover if Inner Circle is right for you.