Tag Archives: authentic

How to be Authentic … and Appropriate

Authenticity is a word that seems to be very hot lately.  We are encouraged to be authentic and authentically express ourselves.

But what does authenticity truly mean? And is it possible to be too authentic? Are there times when fully expressing ourselves is actually not appropriate

I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity as it has been something I have been working on with my coach and has also been the theme this month for my Inner Circle membership community.  I share some insights and tips on how you can be both authentic AND appropriate in today’s video.

In the video I explain how to be authentic and responsible. Authenticity is not about saying whatever we want with no regard with how it may impact someone else.  It is also not about over-sharing and processing our wounds publicly.

Authenticity is about speaking our truth with love. Sharing for the purpose of connection rather than to get attention or validation. It is about being ourselves without judgment or self-consciousness.  To be authentic requires radical self-acceptance, learning from our perceived mistakes and moving forward with awareness.   Most of all, authenticity is about owning our gifts and expressing them in a way that FEELS good.

I encourage you to reflect on how you can be even more authentic in your life.  Do an inventory of your relationships, choices and behaviors and ask yourself, “Is this in alignment with what I really want? Am I being 100% honest with myself or others?” And if your answer is no to those questions, consider making some adjustments.

Be authentic by creating an external life that matches your internal truth. Tweet this!

EP 53: Accepting Your Body and Being Authentically YOU with Jeannette

EP53v1We all have issues or problems in our lives we need to overcome and heal. What things do you believe to be your biggest issues?

The key to healing is how we relate to the issue. We can choose to be a victim and allow shame and judgment to rule our lives or we can choose to hang on to our issue because it makes us feel special or gets us attention. We can also choose to believe our problem is insurmountable and even though we feel we have tried everything to get over it, we think we never can.

Today’s caller, Jeanette, is feeling she is not enough and she struggles with an eating disorder she adopted in her early teens. She craves acceptance from her family because she has a low acceptance of herself.

If there is something you are doing to get love and acceptance or helps you to fit into your family, you WILL have a hard time letting it go. You may have a fear of being authentically you because you worry other people will judge or make fun of you.

Remember, we teach people how to treat us. If we continue to show up as a victim or play into the pattern, people will continue to see and treat us accordingly. If someone isn’t in a loving, open-minded relationship with themselves, they will not be loving and open-minded with you. Not everyone is on the personal growth journey that you are on. Give the people you love the dignity of their own process.

If you want or need to hear something, look into your own eyes and say it to yourself. Be you, step out of your box and don’t take things personally.

I am very excited to share an update about my new video course. I am putting together all of my best tools and resources for you. The first video is coming out in October and it will focus on acceptance, because acceptance is the first law of spirit. My gift to you is to be on the list for the first announcement and for the early bird discount. Visit ChristineHassler.com/VIPlist to sign up.

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Coaches Corner: Are you too nice?

300x300-ChristineHassler-PodcastCoverAre you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love, kindness and generosity. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic.

In today’s coaches corner I discuss the danger of killing yourself with inauthentic kindness!

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EP 24: Stop Attracting and Dating Unavailable People

ep 24 v1If you have pattern of being in relationships or going after unavailable people (either emotionally unavailable or still in relationship with others), then this episode is a must listen!! You’ll also lean about what I call “Journey Mate” relationships.

When we are first starting a relationship we often try to be the person we think we need to be, rather than our most authentic selves. We believe we need to be a certain way in order to keep the other person attracted to us. What we think is love for the other person is actually a projection of the qualities within ourselves we would like to develop.

When the relationship ends before we think it should, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time, the relationship served us in some way. The other person was a journey mate. Journey mate relationships are a projection of what we need to see in ourselves. If the relationship doesn’t end and we continue sourcing our love from the other person we end up codependent. If this happens we may never fully express ourselves or stand in our power.

I define authenticity as the freedom to be fully expressed. If we are not authentic in our relationships we cannot expect to find the most aligned person for us. More than likely we end up attracting unavailable people who are not ready for commitment.

Steph believes perfection is required of her in her relationships. And since perfection doesn’t exist she experiences Expectation Hangovers, especially in relationships where she feels unable to be her authentic self. Aspiring for perfection has blocked her ability to be emotionally vulnerable.

If you have a pattern of attracting unavailable people or have just lost someone you thought was the one, listen to this call and Saturday’s Coaches Corner.

My book Expectation Hangover is now released in paperback and has a new subtitle – Free yourself from your past, change your present and get what you really want. If you don’t have a copy of it yet order it on amazon, audible or enjoy the company of others in a bookstore.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel you are living an authentically, self-expressed life?
  • Do you have a pattern of attracting unavailable people?
  • Are you in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person? Are you an emotionally unavailable person?
  • Do you think you have to be perfect (or a certain way) to get the love you want?

Steph’s Question:

Steph finds herself attracted to emotionally unavailable people and it’s hard for her to show her vulnerable side in relationships. She wants to know how to shift to become emotionally available.

Steph’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She has a hard time showing her vulnerable side
  • She doesn’t trust love and can’t get it until she fixes herself
  • She sourced loved through someone else
  • She doesn’t feel good enough
  • She is capable of being her authentic self

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should come back to what love really is
  • She could accept herself fully and completely
  • Her awareness is the first step of change
  • Write out what perfect and authentic means to her
  • Take a hiatus from dating for a while

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Write down all the things you learned from your journey mate relationship and then turn that on yourself
  • Define authenticity and understand how your most authentic self feels, behaves, communicates and loves
  • Understand where you have walls up around your heart and how you can let people in more

Sponsor:
Onnit Wellness – Alpha Brain

Resources:
Christine Hassler
@christinhassler on twitter
@christinehassler on instagram
christine@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:
How do you feel, behave, communicate and love as your true authentic self?
If you are striving to reach perfection stop right now because it doesn’t exist.”
There are 5 different relationship types. Do you know which ones serve you?

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p.s. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my lifehacks? The
doors to my Inner Circle are open and you can receive regular coaching from
me, learn incredible new personal growth tools and lifestyle tips, receive
a custom meditation each month, and be a part of an awesome community of
like-minded people! Go here to learn more.