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Letting go of wanting

Greetings from Australia! Today I was having a chat over lunch with my longtime Aussie pal
Amir Zoghi about surrender. We were discussing the importance of letting go of attachment especially when we really desire something. Amir dropped this truth bomb:

“The best way to get what you want is to NOT want it.”

There is such wisdom in that simple statement. The more we want something, the more attached we are to getting it and attachment is something that usually leads to an expectation hangover.

Why does attachment lead to disappointment?

When we are attached to getting a specific result we put far more pressure on ourselves, another person, or a situation. Instead of being in the flow of life, we put our desires in a pressure cooker and project way too far into the future. For example, you have an idea for a business and you begin to set specific goals that you want to hit. As soon as you believe that hitting those goals is going to make you successful, happy, or whatever it is that you want to feel, you are attached. Or let’s say you are longing for a relationship and someone comes along who has potential. The second you want it to turn into anything more than it is right in that very moment creates attachment.

When we become attached to the outcome of how we want something to turn out, we miss out on a lot of things. We miss out on clearly hearing the voice of our intuition because we are future focused and intuition resides in the present moment. We miss out on the preciousness of the moment. We get so caught up in an end result that we skip the learning that comes with being right here, right now. We also miss out on guidance from the Universe or possible red flags because we are so tunnel vision focused on what we want.

So does this mean that we should not want things? Or does it mean we should not set goals?

Well first of all I would not dare to “should” all over you but I will offer you my point of view on this that comes from a LOT of life experience of setting goals and wanting things . . . and consequently expectation hangovers!

Desire is not bad or wrong. It is an important feeling to have because it is a compass. Yet we often misunderstand desire. We think we desire a form or result but we truly desire is the feeling that we believe that form or result will give us. Going back to the examples from above, if you have a career goal it is actually not the goal your mind came up with that is driving you. You are really chasing the feeling you think achieving that goal will give you. Will achieving a goal make you feel successful, proud, and financially secure? If so, generate those feelings without having to hit any specific goal and allow your plans to unfold. Similarly, if you want a relationship, you are really chasing the feeling you think being in a relationship will give you. Will being in a relationship make you feel loved, validated, and passionate? If so, generate those feelings without needing someone else there.

The way to let go of attachment AND still get what you desire is to cultivate the feelings you think what you want will give you without actually having to have it.

Are you willing to let go of your attachment to the belief that you need something external to make you feel a certain way?

Back to what Amir said, “The best way to get what you want is not to want it.” If you are currently cultivating the feelings you desire in the future, you would long for nothing because your experience would be one of completeness. Nothing would feel like it was missing. And from this whole place, anything else that happens only enhances the experience you are already having.

You would be able to let go of the energy of attachment, which I assure you will create much more flow, joy and presence in your life. It also will not push away people or opportunities that feel the pressure cooker of your attachment energy.

I get that this is not an easy concept to comprehend, much less practice, because we live in a world where we are very conditioned to be believe our feelings are a result of results, but they are not. Our truest feelings and desires come from our inner truth and the more tapped in we are to the truth of who we are, the more we realize that we truly have everything we need and want.

I realize you may have thoughts and questions on this topic so please comment and let’s get a discussion going!

Much love,

Christine

P.S.

Read this if you’re a coach or want to be one

I believe that coaches serve the world through the work we do. It’s our purpose on the planet: to help others be happier, healthier, wealthier, more connected and more fulfilled.

We do this in big and small ways from helping a single client shift their perspective to launching global initiatives that transform lives.

It’s an honor and a joy to be a coach. I LOVE it.

And…it takes a lot of work to build and run a profitable business as a coach.

But that work is worth it.

If you agree, I hope you’ll join me at my friend Dallas Travers’ first annual Six Figure Coach Summit.

This free, online event is designed to give you real and measurable traction in your business so you can make more money and help more people.

Inside, you’ll get a free seat to more than 20 mini masterclasses taught by some of the most gifted and successful coaches around.

I’m really proud to say that I’m one of them and I’m going to teach you how to Build Your Business By Being an Extraordinary Coach.

Dallas has put a lot of heart and soul into creating an truly exceptional online event and it’s just fantastic that she’s sharing it for free.

You can check out the full speaker lineup and reserve your free spot here.

The Six Figure Coach Summit kicks off on April 9th. See you then!

Much love,

Christine

P.S. I am in Australia and I’m teaching TWO RETREATS.

On April 13th I’m hosting a one-day women’s retreat. Come together with other like-minded women for an incredibly intimate and transformational day. The day will include:

  • Guided meditation and visualization.
  • Identification of the major obstacles in between you and what you desire…and an action plan to remove them.
  • Release of negative emotions that are holding you back and possibly making you sick.
  • Clarification of your life purpose.
  • Adopting an “abundance” mindset and letting go of your limiting money stories for good!
  • Hot seat coaching…a unique opportunity to be coached by Christine in person

Email jill@christinehassler.com for more details and to RSVP.

On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field. It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to register.

Do you have enough pleasure in your life?

Pleasure. What comes to mind when I say that word?

These days we talk a lot about success, health, and consciousness but we do not talk as much about pleasure. And by pleasure I mean the things that make us feel good being in our body. Massage, dance, feeling the warm sun on our face, the taste of chocolate, an amazing hug, great sex, these are just a few examples.

We can get so caught up in our day-to-day activities and spend so much time in our mind that we forget we actually have a physical body that is here for us to enjoy. Instead of loving and appreciating our body such that we experience pleasure by inhabiting it, we put ourselves in hell everyday by judging it. And for so many of us (especially women), we criticize it, compare it, starve it, punish it, obsess about it, and work really hard to change it.

Why do we do this? The current societal images of what is attractive definitely do not help, yet there is usually a deeper issue. As children, if we ever were abused, shamed, or felt unsafe in our body, even just once, we may have started a protective pattern of disconnecting from our physical body and our sexuality.

Not being connected to our physical body in a way that we are truly loving it is often at the root of issues like depression, body image and even eating disorders. This is exactly what I discovered in my coaching session with Heidi on this week’s episode of the podcast.

Heidi has struggled with anorexia and body image issues for most of her life. Now, 33 and married, she has the disorder “under control” yet she cannot seem to shake the constant obsession with her physical appearance. She asked me to help her get to the root of the issue – and we got there as we explored her relationship with her own sexuality.

Go here to listen to Episode 133

I highly recommend listening to this episode and reflecting on how much pleasure you are currently physically experiencing in your life. If you are stressed, anxious, depressed, or obsessing about your appearance I can 100% guarantee that you are not experiencing enough guilt-less, healthy PLEASURE in your life.

My encouragement for you today is to reconnect to your body. Reclaim your sexuality. Go find and feel more pleasure. And, make sure to listen to episode 133 for some tips.

Remember, your body is the temple for your soul. You DESERVE to enjoy it. It is not here to be judged and criticized, it is here for you to experience all the pleasures of being human. So get out of your head and into your body!

Much love,

Christine

P.S. I am headed back to Australia and I’m teaching TWO RETREATS

On April 13th I’m hosting a one-day women’s retreat. Come together with other like-minded women for an incredibly intimate and transformational day. The day will include:

Guided meditation and visualization.

Identification of the major obstacles in between you and what you desire…and an action plan to remove them.

Release of negative emotions that are holding you back and possibly making you sick.

Clarification of your life purpose.

Adopting an “abundance” mindset and letting go of your limiting money stories for good!

Hot seat coaching…a unique opportunity to be coached by Christine in person.

Email jill@christinehassler.com for more details and to RSVP

On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field. It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to register.

Let’s RISE together!

I love that I can connect with you via these emails, through my podcast and mastery course, and over social media. The internet gives us an amazing platform to interact and share with each other.

But there’s something MUCH more powerful than online…

… discover true, deep connection OFFLINE!

In our fast paced digital society, we are becoming more and more disconnected by the day. While technology gives us SO many benefits, this is one of its unfortunate downfalls.

I saw this at my last retreat a couple weekends ago. The women there were craving the kind of soul family bonding that can only happen when we are actually physically present with each other, and therefore the healing they received from being together, was extraordinary.

This is why I want to personally invite you to join me IN PERSON for an exclusive opportunity!!

I am so excited to announce that I will be speaking on stage in front of thousands of women at Danette May’s event called THE RISE.

Go here to learn more about The Rise now.

And as a member of my community, you are eligible for a special discount off the regular priced tickets! :)

During this 2 day experience, you’ll join thousands of other women as you connect, bond and grow together. You’ll gain access to some of the most impactful and powerful women I know. You’ll have the chance to be a part of something that unites us all, helping you step into more self love, uncover your full potential, and draw out the fullest expression of your true authentic self. 

Go here to learn more about The Rise now.

This will be like nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’ll be sharing some AMAZING tools and insights on stage that I have never shared before so I would love to have you there! Plus, I am super pumped because I will also be coaching from the stage!

Make sure to get your ticket NOW while the discounted price is still available and before the event sells out!

So here’s what to do next…

Go here to learn more and register your ticket.

I cannot wait to see you in person and RISE together! :)

Much love,

Christine

p.s. I am headed back to Australia!! On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field. It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to register. If you are not interested in this training, but are interested in a one day women’s retreat I am doing or one-on-one sessions with me, email jill@christinehassler.com.

p.p.s. We can all benefit from more self-love, so don’t miss this week’s Coaches Corner Podcast where I talk about the many ways to bring more self-love into our lives. Listen here.