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Stop being so strong!

When something disappointing happens, we often buy into the assumption that we are being tested and that passing the test depends on pushing through and persevering. Many of us do not give ourselves permission to be vulnerable, feel our feelings, or ask for help.

We live in a world where being strong and pretending we are “FINE” (Feelings Inside Not Expressed) is not only common, but often rewarded. “Be strong” is one of the most common pieces of advice I’ve heard, and it’s my least favorites because the implication is we shouldn’t feel. So we put on a mask, trying to look strong on the outside while falling apart on the inside.

Being strong is overrated. Pushing away an Expectation Hangover usually means you’re going to be pushing aside some valuable learning and healing. Vulnerability is a powerful tool for healing. Harshness and mental toughness diminish vulnerability. (Tweet this!!)

Perseverance is important when dealing with challenges in life, but the key is to persevere by asking, “what am I learning” rather than mustering the strength to push it away or jump over it.

This is exactly what I coach Kelsey on in this week’s podcast. As a young breast cancer survivor, she has identified with “being strong,” but as you will hear in this call what has seemingly been her greatest asset is turning into a liability.

Being strong is preventing her from actually healing and moving forward in her life in the way she desires.

Listen to a clip below:

Go here to listen to the entire episode 123

Consider: Have you been told by others, or do you tell yourself, to “be strong” when you are upset or something challenging happens? What are the costs of “being strong”? What does vulnerability mean to you?

Be resilient without repression. Although it may seem like we are protecting ourselves, being strong via suppression erects walls around our hearts and reinforces beliefs about it not being safe to feel our feelings or share them with another. Please do not underestimate the healing power and true strength of vulnerability.

For more on how to feel safe without having to be strong, be sure to listen to my coaching session with Kelsey on the podcast.

With love,

Christine

p.s. Super excited to reveal my new coaching training program: Unleashed! Designed for those of you looking to create or grow a thriving coaching business. I know it can take years or decades of study and practice to build a complete toolbox of coaching techniques. I’m here to give you the shortcut to success. Learn more about Unleashed here: http://bit.ly/2CFOepY

p.p.s. I’M COMING TO AUSTRALIA!!!!  I will be down under the entire month of February and will be offering:

1. A 2-day retreat on Feb 10 and 11th in Sydney for health and life coaches teaching you both the art and business of coaching. Learn how to become a masterful coach AND make money at it.

2. 90 minute sessions, ½ day or full day intensives

Email jill@christinehassler.com if you are interested in either or both and we will get you on a list to be the first to get all the details.

Don’t be afraid of the storms ….

On this 11th day of an 11 year (add up 2018 and you get 11), your new year mojo may still be going strong. You have declared that this year will be different, the best year yet. Woo hoo! I am cheering you on. There are so many blessings and delights headed your way! You will grow and create so many incredible things!

Continue to take both inner and outer action to co-create your dreams. Be consistent with your mediation, journaling, exercise, healthy eating, creative endeavors and spiritual/personal growth work. Keep embodying courage by taking action even when you feel fear. Celebrate the heck out of every single little step and win. Give yourself a LOT of pats on the back and relish in gratitude. 

Soak up all the joy and Light that life gifts us all with.

And . . .

Allow me to lovingly remind you that storms may still come. And that is okay. They are gifts as well. Welcome them. 

I was reminded of this a few nights ago when a much needed rainy and windy storm came through SoCal and woke me up. I heard the rain pouring down, the wind shaking the windows, and the ocean roaring. Everything felt chaotic, yet required. It has been too sunny and hot here for the winter. We needed the dark clouds to wash in for the growth that will be needed for spring time to happen.

We humans are a lot like nature. We have seasons, cycles and storms. Life is not always sunshiny, because we learn through contrast.

We need the storms to create a little disruption so we can plant need seeds.

We need the dark skies to inspire us to go inside.

We need the strong winds to blow away what no longer serves us. 

We need the rain to wash away our limitations.

I love breath-taking sunsets, but to me a stormy sky is just as beautiful.

Perhaps one more intention you could set for 2018 is a deeper level of trust and surrender to the ENTIRE human experience. Become more of a spiritual warrior by being willing to dive into the challenges that life brings rather than run from them.(Tweet This!) They truly are happening for you.

There is beauty in the storms of your life. Do not fight them. Allow them to wake you up. To know the Light, we must also embrace the dark. There’s nothing to fear… the sun always comes back out.

With love,

Christine

p.s. A new podcast is up! Listen to me coach Daniela about finally ending FOR GOOD a relationship that was really not doing her any good anymore!!! This is a must listen if you are struggling with a relationship or any kind of decision. Go here to listen.

p.p.s. I’M COMING TO AUSTRALIA!!!!  I will be down under the entire month of February and will be offering:

1. A 2-day retreat for health and life coaches teaching you both the art and business of coaching. Learn how to become a masterful coach AND make money at it.

2. 90 minute sessions, ½ day or full day intensives

EMAIL jill@christinehassler.com if you are interested in either or both and we will get you on a list to be the first to get all the details.

Let’s do 2018 differently . . .

Consider this:

2016 was the caterpillar.

2017 was the cocoon.

2018 is the butterfly.

In 2016 it seemed like things crept slowly along. Then 2017 shook many of us to our core. I have heard from hundreds of you that it was one of your most challenging years ever (mine too!). What is exciting is that the slow build of 2016 and the struggle of 2017 have prepared us to fly in 2018.

But we must do it differently. Actually a better way to say it is: we must BE it differently.

It is time that we stop rushing and forcing and taking action from a place of fear. It is time we lean into the uncertainty of life and allow life to SHOW us our next step. It is time we turn even more inward rather than looking for answers outside of us.

The visual that helps me imagine what this looks like is the difference between holding onto the steering wheel of life so tightly (white knuckling), that you are trying to control almost everything versus sitting in a peaceful meditation with your palms up receiving direct guidance from Source.

Massive difference right?!?

Trust me, I know this is not easy. I like knowing. I like feeling like I have control. I like having a plan but I have seen over and over again that the Universe’s plan is always better than my own.


The catch is that I must be patient. You must be patient. We must be willing to sit in the in-between, the unknown, and the uncertainty while not allowing fear to seduce us into making plans with our mind.

This morning I woke up thinking about a big decision I need to make regarding moving since I have to unexpectedly be out of my home by Feb 1st. As I was tossing around the idea of signing a lease for a new place that is “good enough” I noticed that everything in my body felt tight. Although my mind wants to know my address, something felt off. In the past, I would have bypassed that intuitive feeling and made the situation work just so my uncertainty could be resolved. 

So I sat in meditation with my palms up and just let myself be with all the fears and thoughts that were coming up without thinking I needed to do anything about them. And guess what happened? Eventually all the anxiety calmed down and I was able to hear my intuition say to me: If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no!

Then I pulled this oracle card:

IMG_2790

*From the Sacred Rebels Deck by Alanna Fairchild 

The message from this card confirmed what I was feeling and is also in alignment with what I felt that I am compelled to share it with you today…

Please stop working so hard to make things happen in your life. Whether you are male or female, bring more of the feminine ways back into your decision-making and goal setting process.  You are magical. You are a co-creator. TRUST life. TRUST the Universe. TRUST you will be guided. 

Repeat the below affirmation from the guidebook out loud until you truly feel it:

“I shine like the sun – radiant with grace- and all that I desire, comes to me according to perfect timing. I relax, believe and receive. Through unconditional love, this is now so.”

We are on the brink of a massive global shift in consciousness and if you are reading this email, you are part of that. More and more people are waking up after enduring massive expectation hangovers and realizing old issues, patterns and ways of reacting are not leading us to where our soul truly longs to be.

I understand it can feel scary to back off and take less driven action, especially at this time of year where all the messaging out there is about goals and doing. Resist the temptation to go into over-drive this year. Aren’t you sick of being burned out? 

Be a magnet for what you desire rather than a machine working hard to make it happen (Tweet this!)

This change in approach will shift you from a mental, fear-based way of living to an intuitive, heart-based way of living. 

And now more than ever before you are ready!!

It is time for you to fly, my dear butterfly.

With love,

Christine

p.s. A new podcast is up! Listen to me coach Jillian on her relationship with money. She has money and love entangled and is not appreciating her true value. This is a great episode to learn more about your relationship with money and self-trust. Go here to listen.

My Annual New Year’s Ritual

The New Year is just around the corner along with the tradition of making resolutions, which are usually promises to do something “more, better, or different.” Most of us start the New Year with the greatest of intentions, yet by March (or even by the second week in January) we may not find ourselves so resolved. We revert back to old patterns and beat ourselves up for not sticking to our resolutions. Could there be a way to ring in 2018 that serves us better?

YES! And it has been my New Year’s ritual for over a decade now. Over the years, many of you have joined me in this ritual, which is a co-creative process of reflection and intention setting. I wanted to get this email to you a few days before NYE so you have time to prepare. I explain the ritual in the video and blog below.

Also, I will be doing a Facebook Live on the 31st and 1st to walk you through an intentional manifestation process, as well as talk about what 2017 was about, and what 2018 will bring.  Be sure to follow me here.

The night of December 31st will come and go (and no one will remember what you wore) so instead of just trying to plan an epic evening, set your sights on co-creating an epic year!!

I invite you to follow this step-by-step process and to amend it in any way that inspires you:

1. On December 31st carve out at least an hour of uninterrupted time for yourself. Create the mood – get comfy, quiet, light a candle, put on some music. Begin by writing in a journal your “Year in Review.” If your 2017 was anything like mine, this was a BIG year for you in terms of both opportunities and expectation hangovers.

Month by month recall events that happened, people you met, places you visited, lessons you learned, accomplishments, blessings, struggles, funny moments and so on. What is so great about looking at the year in this way is that you are able to notice how you have grown and express gratitude for all your learnings.

2. If you so choose, share your year in review with someone close to you. See what they recall, reminisce, and share a couple of laughs. Processing what you experienced, created and learned this year with a like-minded friend or family member is a supportive way to bring this year to completion.

3. After you have gone through the year, consider the behavior, beliefs or habits that you’d like to leave behind. We all have our regrets, bad habits, and learning experiences; yet, a lot of us tend to cling to them much longer than we need to. On a separate sheet of paper, write down what you would like to leave behind in 2017. For example: being obsessed with an ex, bad eating habits, going to bed too late, laziness, limiting beliefs, repetitive/ disruptive thoughts, overuse of Facebook, consistent self-scrutiny, road rage, swearing and so on. When you complete this list, burn it or rip it up into tiny pieces to really let it go!

4. Make a toast (I like to do it with Kombucha!) to the end of the year. Say a prayer of gratitude for 2017, declare you are letting it go, and blow out the candle you lit. At midnight on December 31st 2017, toast to releasing anything that no longer serves you and to receiving that which is life affirming.

5. On January 1st, begin to co-create/manifest 2018. Light a new candle. . . again, set the mood. Meditate for at least five minutes. And if you have not ever meditated, the first day of the new year is a great day to start! All meditation requires is being still and listening to the sound of your breath. If your mind wanders, just bring it back to the breath. Meditation is important to do before you begin to manifest so you create and visualize from the authentic self rather than the ego. To support you, I made this special New Year’s meditation.

6. After your meditation is complete and you are tuned into your most authentic channel to download from the Divine, you are ready to start visioning your 2018! Begin by getting a blank sheet of unlined paper. As a suggestion, write at the top, “This or something better for the highest good of all concerned. And so it is.”

7. Without thinking or analyzing, write down anything and everything that comes to mind that you would like to co-create/manifest in 2018. Be specific, be creative and think big; however, your list should be at least 70 percent possible and believable. Write until your brain is empty – don’t worry about being greedy! The Universe loves to be generous!!! Important: write everything in present tense using “I am” with verbs and adjectives that enthusiastically and specifically express what you want. For instance, “I am joyfully and easily securing a new job that is professionally fulfilling and offers me the opportunity to do what I love.

8. Choose a place to display your list where you can see it regularly, treat it as something sacred. Or you can create a manifestation box to hold this list as well as pictures and objects that are symbolic or meaningful to you.

9. Frequently throughout the year, review your list (everyday is ideal). Read what you wrote aloud and feel free to add to it. January 1st is not the only day of the year in which you can call in what you want! I encourage you to think about the list frequently and believe in the possibility of your manifestation power.

10. Observe with gratitude as things in your life begin to manifest. Celebrate AND do not beat yourself up or get discouraged over what is not happening. Focusing more on what is abundant in our lives ALREADY is the best way to generate more abundance. And remember that sometimes our time-line and the Universe’s time-line may be different.

Resolve to live your life in alignment with what you truly want to manifest. Rid yourself of any emotional, mental, physical, or interpersonal clutter so that you can get out of your own way. The thing about co-creating and manifestation is that it takes action as well as thought and belief, so resolve this year to take steps to truly LIVE your best life.

And don’t forget to join me on my Facebook page as I take you through this process LIVE.  Follow me here to stay updated on the times I’ll be live.

Love,

Christine