Today’s episode is about breakups. I coach Jackie through what she calls an earth shattering, heartbreaking breakup, but the lessons that surface during the call can be applied to any type of Expectation Hangover.
After a breakup, our hearts hurt, we feel grief, and we miss the person we ended the relationship with. The way to get out of grief is not to obsess over your ex, beat yourself up, or go out looking for someone else. The way through the grief is to milk it for all it’s worth, and to see what it is bringing up for you to heal.
In Jackie’s case, her breakup is an opportunity to reframe old beliefs she had around betrayal. She continued to collect evidence for the story she believed from her childhood. Jackie was basically dating her dad. She was trying to get the love, attention and approval from her boyfriend that she never received from her dad.
Remember, whatever you are going through, no matter how challenging it is, remember it is happening for you, not to you. We can get stuck in the loop of pain if we are just looking at the current situation. Don’t think a relationship was a failure just because it ended. Some relationships have an expiration limit. Look for the lessons the relationship is there to teach you. Look for the reasons you brought the person into your life in the first place.
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- If you are going through a breakup, are you willing to see the pain as a catalyst for growth?
- Are there breakups from your past you got through, but never really got over?
- Could old wounds be impacting the people you are attracting to a relationship?
- Is there someone you know is bad for you to be in a relationship with, but you find yourself going back for more?
After a recent breakup, Jackie would like to know how she can move past a relationship that was bad for her.
Jackie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She feels people are deceptive and tricky.
- She felt lucky her ex chose her.
- She played small around her ex.
- She feels like it’s unsafe to be her, and she wasn’t good enough.
- She collected evidence to confirm her long-held beliefs.
- She longed for attention from her dad.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should ask herself what she is learning, and why she drew this person to her.
- She should release the judgment that being vulnerable makes her messy or weak.
- She needs to confront the truth that she was the daughter of an alcoholic.
- She should go back and communicate to little Jackie.
- She should find a connection with the divine masculine.
- Write out a reality check letter to herself.
- She should attend My Signature Retreat in March 2017.
- Read and watch my blog and Vlog about How to Get Over a Breakup.
- Read my book Expectation Hangover.
- Take an inventory of your previous breakups, to see if you are repeating patterns in current relationships.
- Try to attend the ladies only Signature Retreat this March.
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