Tag Archives: challenges

WTF is going on, the Mother/Daughter relationship and Ghosting

First I want to reassure those of you who feel like you are going through a really challenging time that you are not alone. Many of us are dealing with intense challenges and expectation hangovers. This is NOT the time to spiritual bypass or jump to the silver lining. This IS the time to dive deep and explore what the Universe is teaching you or calling you toward.

Things are really intensifying as this year ends and Mercury begins to come out of retrograde so hang on!  I recorded a coaches corner for you to help you navigate this time and also take you through a guided meditation to deal with the uncertainty.

Go here to listen

And tis the season for family drama! If you have a family member who you tend to be particularly triggered by, then I highly suggest listening to episode 118 where I coach Kristen on making self-honoring choices when it comes to her relationship with her mother. A self-honoring choice is an honest choice rooted in truth that comes from love – it is NOT selfish. Often setting boundaries with relatives is challenging because we are afraid of upsetting them. However, if we do not make self-honoring choices and set boundaries, we end up resenting them.

Go here to listen to Ep 118

Finally, have you ever been ghosted? Or have you ghosted someone? Ghosting is when someone you were in communication with all of a sudden totally disappears with zero explanation. Most often it happens in dating. You are seeing someone and texting frequently and then all of a sudden . . . crickets. Ghosting can also happen in friendship. It is incredibly painful and frustrating because you are left with no reason other than the reasons you make up in your head (which are usually not very healthy!). Listen in to this Coaches Corner as I explain ghosting from a psychological point of view and give you tips to get over being ghosted.

Go here to listen 

I hope you enjoy these episodes and I look forward to brining you more inspiring and informative content in 2018. 

Enjoy this holiday season and remember that this time of year can stir up a lot. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself and others. Take advantage of the sweetness and magic that is in the air. Let go of stressing about stuff that really does NOT matter. And remember the biggest gift you can give and receive is love.

Sending you so much love and light,

Christine

EP 65: Dealing with Challenges in Relationships with Andrew

EP65v1There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.

In today’s coaching session, we bust through the limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads  in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive to his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.

Andrew shared he is working towards a growth mindset, and up until now his wife has had more of a victim mindset. While I only got to hear one side, I didn’t hear any blame or resentment from Andrew as he shared his story, so I sense his description of the situation is fairly accurate. That is why I coached him to love his wife, to support her and to hold space for her, as she and the entire family process this diagnosis. And in time, have a heart-to-heart with her about how they plan to journey through this Expectation Hangover together.

Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. I coached Andrew through the distinction of spiritual connection and spiritual bypass. It basically comes down to love and truth. Andrew loves his wife, but in truth, they may be growing in different directions. Does this mean the relationship should end? I don’t believe in shoulds. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.

Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road.  We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we can not save anyone else, that is up to them.

Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle tips which include beauty, health, and wellness.

And, I will be in Sydney, Australia for another amazing Mastermind, possibly a training, and half- and full-day intensives. My visit will focus on the needs of small business owners or those of you transitioning into a new career. You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP for more information.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status?
  • Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority?
  • Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other?
  • Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk?
  • What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?

Andrew’s Question:

Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.

Andrew’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem.
  • He feels spirituality calling him.
  • It’s not his responsibility to save his wife.
  • He has recently started a spiritual practice.
  • He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship.
  • His current lesson may not yet be resolved.
  • It is now up to him to re-parent himself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He should write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he can not do it alone.
  • He should hug his wife every day.
  • He needs to take 100% responsibility for his 50%.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate.
  • Nurture a relationship with a higher power.
  • Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about.
  • If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.

Sponsor:
Audible – Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Expectation Hangover
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@christinehassler.com
An Uncommon Bond, by Jeff Brown

Tweetables:

Love without truth can keep us in relationships long past their expiration dates. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet People don’t cure themselves of cancer when they are stuck in a victim mentality. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet Are you still on the same path as your partner but perhaps just a few paces ahead? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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EP 45: Stop Living a Checklist Life with Frankie 

EP45v1Today’s caller, Frankie is in the midst of her quarter-life crisis. Her life is not going according to her checklist and she is dealing with some Expectation Hangovers. She has defined herself by external things and she’s a bit addicted to control and validation.

Control is something we all struggle with. We think we have 100% control over life, but we don’t.  We do have choices and dominion but we don’t have total control. Our egos like to have certainty and to have a plan, which is rooted in fear. It is scary not to know what is coming next. If we try to control every aspect of our lives, we often miss out on all the beautiful opportunities the universe has for us.

Sometimes the opportunities come in the form of challenges, which are not to punish or test us but to help us grow. During these times it is important that we do not go into victim mode. It is also important that when we go through uncertainty we don’t try to immediately fill up that space with something new.

Sometimes we just have to sit in the discomfort of uncertainty to see what it is there for to teach us. If we don’t deal with our Expectation Hangovers they will keep repeating and the same types of disappointments will keep coming up.

It’s OK if you don’t have it all figured out. A quarter-life crisis is normal. It is the time when many of us step into our personal life journey. Challenges are what build our grit and character.

I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you having a quarter-life crisis or an Expectation Hangover? Are things not going according to plan?
  • Do you relate to living off a checklist? If things don’t get checked off are you hard on yourself?
  • Is external achievement and validation important to you?
  • Are there things you say you are surrendered about but you’re not? Are you still trying to make things happen or have you just resigned?

Frankie’s Question:

Frankie would like to know how to move into a place of acceptance about where she is in her life.

Frankie’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She has a should list and a checklist in her head
  • She has a deep strength within her
  • Her identity comes from what she can achieve
  • She is hard on herself more than she is compassionate
  • Love for her is connected to validation and praise

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should consider who she would be at 49 if her life had no struggles
  • She can pray without asking for something
  • Her self-talk needs to move towards love and acceptance
  • She can delve deeper in her spiritual practice
  • She should update her story about who she is supposed to be

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Listen to my story in my very first Over It and On With It
  • Process your emotions through release writing and the temper tantrum technique in Expectation Hangover.
  • Do not pray for things but pray to be shown the way.
  • Be nice to yourself.
  • Ditch your checklist.

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness – Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Expectation Hangover
20 Something 20 Everything
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:

When we don’t deal with our inside stuff it can leak out onto others. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet You need to matter to yourself as much as other people matter to you. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Life challenges are what help to build our character and give us grit. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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