Tag Archives: change

EP 60: Feel Self-Worth and Acceptance Even When You Want to Change Something About Yourself (Like Your Physical Appearance or Weight) with Gabby

EP60v1Are you hard on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance? Do you do something, and then immediately wish you had done it differently? Many of us allow our inner critics to expend energy on low-frequency, physically exhausting, nasty, self-defeating self-talk. You may not realize it, but your self-talk influences the way other people receive you. If you are happy and filled with self-acceptance, you send out a good vibe. If you are negative or hard on yourself, you can suck the life right out of the room.

Today’s caller, Gabby, is struggling with her weight and self-worth. She is clinging to the away-from-motivation of ‘if only I this,’ and ‘if only I that,’ instead of using toward-motivation, to get what she really wants.

During the call, Gabby’s energy shifts as soon as we discuss creativity and connection. This toward-motivation practice allows her to focus her energy on what she wants to bring into her life, instead of what she wants to move away from. This practice is sustainable, because she is focusing her energy on a positive outcome instead of a negative one.

Obsessing about appearance and weight is a waste of energy. If weight is something you struggle with read my book, Expectation Hangover, and:

  • Find a new way to soothe yourself.
  • Get a new way to feed your soul.
  • Commit and take actions towards your commitments.
  • Stop making your weight mean something negative about you.

You are enough. You are lovable. You can change and heal anything in your life.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you making your self-worth and acceptance conditional?
  • Do you struggle with body image issues? Has losing weight been a constant theme in your life?
  • Does fear of rejection haunt you? Does it keep you from taking risks?
  • What are the sneaky ways you’re being selfish in your life?

Gabby’s Question:

Gabby has felt rejected a lot lately and would like to know how she can not worry so much about what others think.

Gabby’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels undesirable and fears she is not good enough.
  • She has body image issues.
  • Food is her only source of pleasure.
  • She is self-obsessed.
  • She is jeopardizing her relationships by making everything about her.
  • She may be attracting rejection into her life when she does, because of her self-rejection.
  • She hasn’t asked God to love and support her in dealing with her issue.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should stop waiting for external validation to find her confidence.
  • She should realize she is not alone in how she feels.
  • She should create a joy and creativity plan for herself.
  • She should be present, curious, and connected in an authentic way.
  • She could ask God for assistance in letting go of her obsession with her weight.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • If there is something you want to shift in your life, make a list of your ‘toward’ motivations.
  • Make a list of what you are committed to, and get an accountability partner.
  • Take on a role to shift your confidence, and change the way you see yourself.
  • Pray for help with your growth. Ask for help in making the shifts in knowing who you truly are.

Sponsor:

Audible – Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Over It and On With It Initial Podcast
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

Tweetables:

When are hearts are open, we are curious and playful. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet
Insecurities make us act self-obsessed, when all we want is to be accepted. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
We attract rejection into our lives when we are self-rejecting. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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EP 52: Can You Change Someone? With Linsey

EP52v4Today’s caller, Linsey, is concerned her boyfriend may have an addiction to alcohol. She loves him and believes that if he can change they may be able to take their relationship to the next level. She thinks her problem is in her relationship but as our coaching session shows, it has very little to do with her partner and more to do with something deep within herself.

You cannot change other people. Your desire to change and heal yourself should not be attached to changing someone else. Focus only on yourself.

It is important to make healthy changes, even if it feels really scary. Unhealthy lifestyles feel familiar and safe because we have been in them for so long. It is crucial to find professional support and to be held accountable when we start making changes. It is difficult for us to do this on our own. Our ego doesn’t like it when we change because it craves certainty. And, as we start to grow in consciousness, the ego starts to hold on a little tighter.

If listening to this call was uncomfortable for you or if it brought up some awareness around your own addictions, consider what you may be using to avoid feeling and dealing. This is why I am creating an Over It and On With It course to give you tools and resources to feel, deal and heal.

Coaches — I could have coached Linsey to get out of her relationship. Personally, I hope she does distance herself from it to focus on her own healing. But, if I coached her in that direction she may have shut down. She said she loves him even though she knows he’s an addict. She feels safe being a co-dependent in the relationship due to her relationship with her mother. I didn’t want her ego to take over and for her to get defensive. It may not have been possible for her to get to the deeper awareness she reached during the call. It’s important to give someone the dignity of their process, instead of encouraging them to make a move they may not be ready to make.

Would you like to connect to who you really are and discover your Secret Sauce? There is a free video training series on my site to help you build your business or obtain your desires from the inside out. Your Secret Sauce is a unique combination of your experience, talents, life lessons and passions, which can help you to feel a sense of belonging and confidence. Go to www.christinehassler.com/ss to get the free videos.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a relationship with someone and hope they will change?
  • Are you in a relationship with an addict? Are you using an external coping strategy to distract yourself from dealing with something you don’t want to face?
  • Do you acknowledge that you may have tendencies towards co-dependency?
  • Is your ego feeling dark, and would you like to feel more connected to your soul?

Linsey’s Question:

Linsey is concerned her current relationship may be following the same path as her past relationships, and she is unsure about the future.

Linsey’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She realizes she has co-dependency issues
  • She wants her partner to change
  • She knows she has walked on eggshells around her mother
  • She uses food and television as numbing agents
  • She became super-independent because she doesn’t believe she can count on anyone else
  • She knows she should disconnect from her relationship but doesn’t want to
  • She can heal this issue

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She should be honest about who her partner really is
  • She needs to deal with the hurt inside herself
  • She needs professional help by way of a 12-step program or a therapist
  • She should make a 1-year commitment to not take actions that can’t be done
  • She should incorporate a spiritual practice into her life

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Take a serious look at your coping devices. Are they addictions or in the danger zone of becoming addictions?
  • Take an honest look at your relationships. Ask people close to you what they notice about your relationships.
  • Write a list of the things you desire and what you think will make you feel better.
  • Ask the universe to guide you to the help you need and want.

Sponsor:

Onnit Wellness – Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link.

Audible – Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Secret Sauce Training Series
Christine Hassler Free E-book
@chrishassler on Snapchat
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:

During your prayers, ask the universe to guide you towards what you need and want. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
Have you become super-independent because you don’t believe you can count on anyone else? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
If you are craving to be a mother first, look at how you are mothering yourself. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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EP 11: Be the Change and Feed Your Creative Spark in Your Career – Without Having to Change Jobs

Episode 11 Career (1)This special episode has two career coaching sessions, the first with Nick and the second with Lindsey. Both Nick and Lindsey are searching for a way to use their passions and to share their gifts with the world.

Nick’s session focuses on his spirituality and whether or not his current position allows him to elevate the consciousness of others with his law practice.

Lindsey’s session concentrates on her transitions and her indecisiveness around using her creativity to reach her end goal.

Lessons from both calls are that we don’t need to leave jobs which are not creative enough, we can be creative and passionate in our current situations. If we honor the place we are in now by embracing our passions and our spirituality, we will end up spreading light to others.

If you yearn to make more of an impact in your work life, drastic changes to satiate your desires are unnecessary and often cause additional discomfort.

Increasing our vibrations will make everything we do a more spiritual experience.

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Coaching Session #1 – Nick 

While Listening to this Call Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do feel a calling to make an impact?

Are you in a job which seems not spiritual enough and you feel you should be doing something different?

Do you feel like you are compromising and paying your dues now for financial security?

Are you actively spreading light where you are or are you waiting for better circumstances?

Nick’s Question:

Nick wants to integrate spirituality into his current life but doesn’t want to break his life to fix it.

Nick’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • He may be a lightworker in the subtle sense
  • He doesn’t have to change what he’s doing to make a difference
  • He could focus on his being and interacting with people

How Nick can get over it and on with it:

  • Honor his calling of spreading light through his existing work
  • Bring more consciousness into what he is doing
  • Try deepening his vibration when communicating with others in his work
  • Try the 25/5 rule of working for 25 minutes and taking 5 to do something you enjoy doing

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Become dedicated to your spiritual practice in your work
  • Consider bringing beauty into your work environment
  • Ask God every day to use you and pay attention to opportunities which may come from it
  • Implement practices which reconnect you to your higher power

Coaching Session #2 – Lindsey

While Listening to this Call Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel apathetic or stuck in your current career?
  • Are you craving more creativity and passion in your life?
  • Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to figure everything out and once?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey is having a hard time figuring out if her job transition was the right thing to do and if she continue investing in her passion, music.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She loves helping children with crafts
  • She needs more of the creative aspect in her job
  • She should focus on the next steps and not the end goal

How Lindsey can get over it and on with it:

  • Lindsey could listen to her intuition to be more creative
  • She should honor this phase of her life
  • Ask her higher power to show her the people and situations she can serve

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Ask yourself what is the next step, not the end goal
  • Honor where you are and allow your passions to unfold
  • Don’t expect a job to make you feel creative or passionate

Resources:

Christine Hassler

@christinhassler

Tweetables:

You don’t have to leave your job to make a spiritual impact in life.
Do you feel you are trading your passion for financial security in your current position?
Don’t expect a job to make you feel creative or passionate, as it must come from within.

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