Tag Archives: courage

Healing Shame and Knowing You Are Lovable – No Matter What

EP40v1This episode is about liberating yourself from any kind of shame and the secrets and judgments that go along with it. When we feel ashamed of something we keep it in the dark and that is why shame is so toxic because it leads to keeping things hidden, keeping things where they are tainted by judgment.

Shame often stands as the guard at the gate to vulnerability. The incredible, painful feeling of shame is based on the misunderstanding of a perceived flaw that we believe must stay hidden. The way to get through shame is by stepping into vulnerability and revealing what we are terrified of being found out for. We all want to know that we are loved even if we have these dark, scary, shameful feelings and thoughts.

Today’s caller Sara is taking a huge step toward vulnerability. Sara displays remarkable courage by sharing her secret so openly. I sense a lot of you will relate to having secrets or things you are ashamed of or like Sara, an STD that you feel taints you in some way.

To heal shame, we not only have to do our inner work  but we must also have the courage to bring what we judge as dark or tainted into the light to talk about it. We don’t have to shout out what we are ashamed of from the rooftops, but it’s important that we do not live with secrets. Being raw and real in front of others is an important part of healing any expectation hangover.

We cannot talk ourselves out of trauma and shame. We have to feel our way through it. We have to go back to those inner places that got hurt, with compassion and the willingness to feel the feelings we never really got to feel. It’s an important part of the healing process. We can’t get #overitandonwithit by just thinking about it. We have to go back and treat the wound. The more you heal core wounds, bring shame into the light, forgive and reframe how you see yourself, the more you will shift in how you are seen.

The universe brings things into our awareness to help us heal not to punish us. If we can reframe how we look at them even the terrible things can be blessings.

Listen in and be part of the conversation that breaks down shame.

And, I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you carrying around a secret?
  • Do you have an STD, an illness or situation that negatively impacts your dating life?
  • If you are experiencing shame, are you ready and willing to be vulnerable?
  • Are you harboring anger or resentment against anyone or anything which is preventing you from feeling the liberation and love that is your essence?

Sara’s Question:

Sara is having difficulty finding her self-worth in relationships when they begin to get intimate.

Sara’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • The more judgment she places on herself will lead to judgment from others
  • She tries to overcompensate in other areas of her life
  • Her masculine and feminine energies may be out of balance
  • She is bringing her shame into the light by sharing
  • She attracts the kind of love she reveals
  • She can be compassionate with herself and love herself unconditionally

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Realize she is not damaged goods and she is not tainted
  • She should do some forgiveness work around her mistrust
  • Be mindful of the story she tells herself about having an STD
  • She can go back to her 24-year-old self and provide her solace
  • If she heals herself on the spiritual level it can help her on the physical level
  • Have a ‘cut the cord’ ceremony to release her anger towards the other person

Reminders and Takeaways:

  • Vulnerability – What secrets do you have that you have kept in the dark that need to be brought into the light?
  • If you do have herpes or a different STD, find people to talk to about it so you don’t feel alone.
  • Do emotional work for yourself. Write a letter to your younger self who dealt with the things which make you feel shameful.
  • If you are carrying around a secret and have no one to talk to about it, find a professional or a support group to talk to. Don’t keep it inside.
  • Look at where you are compensating because of something you judge about yourself.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Expectation Hangover
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Jill@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:

Healing yourself on a spiritual level will also heal your physical self. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet
Blaming other people for things means you are still energetically related to them. Release yourself with… Click To Tweet
You are not damaged, broken, dirty or tainted. Give yourself the gift of radical self-acceptance.… Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: Developing Courage

1200x1200-ChristineHassler-PodcastCoverCourage. It’s a desirable quality to have and an empowering way to be. Our heroes and inspirational leaders are labeled courageous. We are told throughout our life to “be courageous,” but that isn’t always easy. In fact, courage is often one of the most difficult qualities to truly integrate.

Why is being courageous not as easy to embody as the heroes make it look in the movies? There are two main reasons. First, being courageous means being willing to face fear and embrace uncertainty. YIKES! We don’t like being scared or not knowing what is ahead. Second, most of us do not truly understand what courage really means.

In this coaches corner, Christine shares how to become more courageous and go after the things in life that scare us.

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What if it was all made up?

Yesterday was Halloween – a day where being scared is fun and actually intended. Ghosts and goblins may spook us but only temporarily because logically we know it’s just pretend! Fake fear can be fun, but the real fear we experience, the kind that haunts us throughout the year, is definitely not so fun.

But what if most of the fear that you do experience was not real? What if the things that scare you are just pretend?

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It’s time to get over it!

My hunch is you are carrying around something that is very heavy and causes you unnecessary suffering.  This thing blocks you from the experiences and connections you desire. It weighs you down, holds you back and robs you of joy.

What is this dreadful thing I am talking about?

It is your story.

You see we all create a story about ourselves and the way life works for us based on experiences we have had.  And usually parts of this story are pretty negative. Common self-defeating and deflating story lines include: “I do not belong, I am not enough, life is hard, people are not trustworthy, everyone else is better, something is wrong with me, I am not deserving, I should be doing more, I need to make others happy, love is painful, etc.”

Super uplifting story lines, huh?

No! But I bet you can relate to a few of them.  You are not alone. Part of the old story I carried around for decades had to do with not belonging or being likable. This story stopped me from doing things in my life or made doing certain things miserable.

Over the weekend I attended my friend Gabby’s wedding and reflected upon how liberating it was not to carry around that old story that would have either prevented me from going to an event alone across the country; or, made the weekend unpleasant if I did go because of the tape from an old story playing in my head. Thank goodness that old story is out of syndication in my mind!

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