Tag Archives: expectations

Keep it simple

The little things go a long way.  So often we focus on the big changes we want to make in life or the big problems we need to solve and forget about the little, simple things we can do on a daily basis that create big change over time.

I was reminded of this last week after hosting our first ever community love challenge – a special thank you to all those who participated! Each day we focused on one little thing to do to feel and share love.  The shifts that happened were amazing! There was so much love, joy and inspiration that was spread. 

On my Facebook Live (you can watch the replay here) where I announced the winner, so many people shared how uplifting the challenge was.  They were amazed at how much of a positive shift they felt just by doing small things like a random act of kindness.

My message to you today is to STOP working so hard. STOP trying so hard.  STOP attempting to figure things out. STOP thinking about it so much.

Instead START doing one small thing each day that brings you joy. Listen and dance to your favorite song.  Buy yourself flowers. Call a friend you miss. Take 10 minutes to read a great book or some poetry (I’ve been obsessed with Rumi lately). 

It does not take much to feel love. Love is so accessible at all times. It only feels unreachable when we are judging ourselves, a situation, or another person.  Even during expectation hangovers, you can fill yourself up with love by focusing on small things each day that feel uplifting.

This is why a daily practice is so important. When you make “you time” a non-negotiable, even if it’s only five minutes per day, it is so much easier to not lose your connection to love.  Self love. The people you love.  Nature. Animals. Beautiful places and things. There is just so so SO much to love!

One of the many reasons I started our membership community, Inner Circle, is because I know the tremendous value of having a daily practice that supports you in staying positive and uplifted.  If you are not a member yet, I hope you consider joining us and basking in all the love we share there! This month we are focusing on authenticity and authentic self-expression so it’s a great month to join.

Go here to learn more about Inner Circle.

And speaking of love, stay tuned for an invitation to join my first ever love course which I’ll be sharing next week.  Oh, and don’t miss this week’s podcast episode 99: Letting Go of an Ex with Michelle. Listen here.

Love,

Christine

EP 98: How Your Fear of Failure is Sabotaging Your Success with Lindsey

EP98v1This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and on with it. I coach today’s caller, Lindsey, on how to move from awareness to implementation. She knows the next steps to take but cannot figure out why she isn’t taking them. She thinks her problem is about time management, productivity, and balance but, as you will hear in the call, it’s not about that at all.

What do you think about failure? Imagine you fail, or you get a no, or your endeavor is a complete flop. What happens inside of you? What do you think and feel? Are you embarrassed?

A healthy relationship to failure is an essential ingredient to success. Failure is defined as lack of success. But defining success is more difficult because if success is learning something, growing, or having experiences that make us stronger and wiser, then we never really fail. In my opinion, the only way you fail is if you go into the hopeless, helpless victim mode.

Stop playing it safe just because you want to avoid failure. Instead of taking teeny, tiny baby steps, get out of your comfort zone, and jump in the pool so you can move forward.

You have to drop the guilt and give yourself permission to do what you want.

Sign up for the Summer of Love Challenge. Get a daily email about spreading and sharing love, from me. Plus, when you sign up you become eligible to get 6-months free in my Inner Circle Membership Community.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How are you at moving from awareness to implementation?
  • How do you feel about failure? What has been your biggest failure to date?
  • What steps do you know you should take, but don’t seem to be taking?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey would like to know how to take action and use her time more wisely.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She lives in an Expectation Hangover.
  • She’s never made a step without having a plan in place.
  • She’s feeling paralysis from analysis.
  • The fear of change is holding her back.
  • There is a piece of her that remains unfulfilled.
  • She knows the status quo will lead to regret and remorse.
  • She has a fear that no one will want to work with her.
  • She feels guilty about her lack of focus.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
  • She needs to take steps that don’t threaten her sense of security but are still out of her comfort zone.
  • She needs to write out the expectations she makes of herself and then create agreements with herself.

Takeaways:

  • Take a risk and let yourself fail.
  • Write down your expectations and then make agreements with yourself, and stick to them.
  • Give yourself permission to go for your dreams, even if it means failing.

Sponsor:

Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Primal Blueprint

Tweetables:

People who are planners have big daydreams but don’t take action, because they don’t like uncertainty.… Click To Tweet

Only you can decide the level of risk you are willing to tolerate, but the higher the risk, the higher the reward.… Click To Tweet

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from taking action. You can leverage your failures as learning opportunities.… Click To Tweet

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EP 61: Letting Go of Expectations and Pressure from Others with Lorena

EP61v2When we are so paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes or failing, we don’t develop grit. Grit is what gives us confidence. If we don’t have to figure things out on our own we find ourselves paralyzed when making choices as we get older. When parents place too many expectations on their children, their children may grow into adults that don’t know what they truly want.

If you are a millennial, take the pressure off of yourself to make the right choice and allow yourself to make a mistake. Failure is how you learn. If you are the boss, manager or parent of a millennial, stop making all of their decisions for them.

This episode will be useful for ANYONE at any age.

Today’s caller, Lorena, is having a highly-charged emotional reaction to the circumstances in her life. The pressure of living up to parental expectations is clouding her ability to decide what she truly wants.

  • If you are a millennial and you are having difficulty with your parents, remember you are the child. It is not your responsibility to live up to their expectations.
  • If you are the parent of a millennial, it’s time to let them go so they can be their own person. Let them make their own mistakes. Stop telling them who they are so they can discover it for themselves.
  • If you relate to having a high-standard of achievement, don’t let achievement to become your identity. Don’t let your self-worth be hooked to your achievements.

People get tripped up when they start with the end game instead of having a vision of how they would like to feel. Sometimes it is just about taking the first step.

Consider where you may be holding yourself prisoner by letting someone else define you? How can you step into freedom by defining who you are and making your own choices?

Coaches – Lorena’s belief system was triggering her emotional response. As you can tell by her response, it was greater than what was necessary for what was really going on. Remember, there is what happens, and then what we make it mean. When working with people you want to honor and hold space for their emotions, at the same time ask questions to shift belief systems. Your goal is not to coddle a person but to get them into their insight.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever feel upset over something you shouldn’t be so emotionally triggered by?
  • Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to live up to your own expectations or those of others?
  • Have you received a lot of external validation for your achievements, and you constantly crave it?
  • Do you feel that you owe someone something, or that you have something to prove?

Lorena’s Question:

Lorena has recently decided to start over and go back to school to give herself the opportunity to do something greater. But, she doesn’t know what she wants to do.

Lorena’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She wants to have an end goal.
  • She excelled at academics and was praised for it.
  • She feels she doesn’t meet her parent’s expectations.
  • She may be too emotionally upset to reach clarity.
  • She doesn’t want to end up resenting her parents.
  • She appreciates the difference in her life and her parent’s life.
  • She should use the gifts her parents have given her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should realize she is the child and she doesn’t have to live her life according to their expectations.
  • She should express her gratitude toward her parents, plus let them know she needs to make her own mistakes.
  • She needs to stand in her own choices.
  • She needs to let go of her guilt in order to be free to explore.
  • She should write a letter to her parents and ask them to support her.
  • She should listen to her inner voice.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • If you are having a difficult situation with someone, write a letter to them, even if it is emotionally charged.
  • If you experience heightened emotions, take a deep breathe and ask yourself “What do I know to be true in this moment?”
  • What belief systems are you wearing that just don’t fit anymore, or are they actually someone else’s beliefs?

Sponsor:

Audible – Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.

Resources:

Christine Hassler – Book a session to be on the show!
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Christine Hassler Free E-book
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
20 Something, 20 Everything, by Christine Hassler

Tweetables:

Where are you holding yourself prisoner by letting someone else define you? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To TweetChildren come through parents, they don’t belong to parents. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To TweetSet a strong intention to come from love, not fear. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: Kathryn Budig – Aim True!

300x300-ChristineHassler-PodcastCoverKathryn talks to us about being yourself despite anyone else’s expectations or your own fears. She is an internationally celebrated yoga teacher and author known for her accessibility, humor, and ability to empower her students through her message, “aim true.” She is a warrior for self-acceptance, honesty, and helping her students and readers find true balance.

The Kansas native graduated from the University of Virginia with a double degree in English and Drama before moving to Los Angeles, where she trained under the tutelage of Maty Ezraty and Chuck Miller. With over a decade of experience in her field, she is the yoga contributor to Women’s Health magazine, writes weekly for Yoga Journal, and serves on the Yahoo! Health advisory board as well as contributing regular recipes. She’s a sponsored athlete in Under Armour’s “I WILL WHAT I WANT” campaign, an ambassador for Ford’s “Warriors in Pink,” and the founder of her animal project, Poses for Paws. She is the creator of the Aim True Yoga DVD produced by Gaiam, author of The Women’s Health Big Book of Yoga, and recently released her second book, Aim True, on March 29th through William Morrow; an imprint of Harper Collins.

Get her book and connect: http://kathrynbudig.com/

Practice yoga with Kathryn here: https://www.yogaglo.com/teacher/kathryn-budig

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