This episode is about overcoming the fear of success and the fear of failure. During the coaching session with Becca, it is clear she intellectually knows what she needs to do to build her business, but she can’t commit to doing it.
Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or changing or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has something to do with rejection, loss of money, or status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail.
So, how do we overcome these fears? It’s about more than taking action steps towards your goals. Maybe, you have tried to overcome it by just doing whatever it is. But, until you upgrade the beliefs and old triggers, which perpetuate the fear, you will continue to find yourself in your own way.
Many people think money will make them feel better about themselves or make them more confident. But it doesn’t — confidence is an inside job. We can’t create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth.
When we have self-worth and do the internal work, we express our gifts and align with our higher purpose. We are then able to attract money to us. It is important for us to have a wealth consciousness.
Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.
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- What are your fears around failure or success? Do you know what to do when it comes to your business, but you aren’t doing it?
- Is there a part of you that has longed to fit in?
- Do you feel guilty if you have too much good in your life?
Becca is about to start a new quest but she finds herself unable to get started.
Becca’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She didn’t like growing up privileged.
- Cooking is her way of connecting to people.
- Guilt and shame were at the core of her eating disorder.
- She enjoyed having a secret, which was her eating disorder.
- She has an unhealthy relationship with money and success.
- Her guilt prevents her from stepping into her passion.
- She is scared not to have connections with people.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs a new image of what success and wealth look like.
- She should write out her new definition of fitting in, and her definition of success.
- She needs to give herself a feeling of longing and connection.
- She needs to work on feeling grateful.
- She should get a business coach.
- Write out your new definitions of success and failure. Get clear about how you want to define success.
- Write out your worst-case scenarios around success and failure.
- Identify the payoff of your negative emotions and find a way to get the payoff in a positive way.
- If you are starting a business, invest in a coach to help hold you accountable.
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