Tag Archives: feelings

Coaches Corner: Living Free with Amir Zoghi

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Amir Zoghi is a longtime friend who continues to inspire me to live freely and be the fullest expression of who I truly am. He is an international speaker, author, teacher, entrepreneur and now pilot and aviation business owner. In this Coaches Corner, we talk about how to deal with negativity, following your feelings (or intuition), what intuition really is and what it is not, and mindset. This is an incredibly rich conversation that I encourage you to feel, not just hear.

Learn more about Amir and his programs at www.amirzoghi.com

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EP 136: Get Out of Your Head and Listen to Your Heart with Emma

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This call is about is about getting out of your head and listening to your heart, especially after an Expectation Hangover like a divorce. This call with Emma is a great example of the struggles of someone who is stuck in their head and emotionally stressed. Her question is about gaining clarity and her next steps but she can’t get clarity as long as she stays suppressed.

It takes a lot of strength to stuff away our feelings but if we really want to hear our heart we have to be willing to be vulnerable. All of us have things from our past that were challenging and some even traumatizing. A huge part of getting on with the life we truly want is to get over the life we’ve had so far. We don’t do that by sweeping the past under the rug like Emma is attempting to do.

Why does suppressing emotions and sweeping our past under the rug create confusion? First, it takes a lot of energy to avoid your feelings. It makes it hard to relax and to listen to the voice of your intuition. Clarity, guidance, and insight come during quiet and relaxed states. If you are using energy suppressing or distracting yourself from feeling, or keeping busy and staying in your head, it’s difficult to hear your inner wisdom. Second, your higher self or soul wants you to wake up. It wants you to heal and feel. Often, the clarity on your next steps won’t be revealed until you heal.

If you relate to this call you need to let go of the belief that you can’t access your heart. Give yourself permission to make more heart-based choices. Stop telling yourself you can’t hear your heart or your intuition. If you keep telling yourself that you will keep believing it.

Also, if you can relate to putting walls around yourself to protect yourself know that it is also keeping love and connection out. Make it safe for yourself to start taking those walls down and become connected to your heart.

Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to receive information on my upcoming retreat in London. And, would you like to get face-to-face, free coaching from me? Contact Jill about the live-on-camera sessions coming up in May in San Diego!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you confused, seeking clarity about something?
  • Do you feel blah — perhaps even depressed?
  • When difficult things happen, do you try to be strong and get over it?
  • Do you make decisions more with your head than with your heart?
  • How are you with your feelings? Do you actually feel them or do you rationalize them, get over them and hope they go away?

Emma’s Question:

Emma wants guidance about her next steps after a divorce.

Emma’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She split with her husband because they had different goals.
  • She made the decision not to have children.
  • She suppresses her feelings.
  • She makes decisions based on her head, not her heart.
  • She felt lonely as a child.
  • She’s not sure she knows what love is.
  • She feels that crying is bad.
  • She fears intimacy. 

How to get over it and on with it:

  • It’s time for her to make heart-based choices.
  • She should get Expectation Hangover and work through the emotional section.
  • She should work with a professional counselor.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Check out Equine Therapy.
  • Get out of your head and stop trying to figure things out!
  • Acknowledge if you are a suppressor. Consider getting a coach and getting a guide or a counselor.
  • Start journaling every day or talking to other people about your feelings. Get involved in something that helps you shift your energy.
  • Give yourself permission to take a vacation from trying to figure things out.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

 Tweetables:

Part of the reason we stay in our heads and keep ourselves busy is that we have a lot of… Click To Tweet The opposite of love isn’t hate — it’s indifference and apathy. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet If you can relate to putting walls around yourself to protect yourself know that it is also… Click To Tweet

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Letting go of wanting

Greetings from Australia! Today I was having a chat over lunch with my longtime Aussie pal
Amir Zoghi about surrender. We were discussing the importance of letting go of attachment especially when we really desire something. Amir dropped this truth bomb:

“The best way to get what you want is to NOT want it.”

There is such wisdom in that simple statement. The more we want something, the more attached we are to getting it and attachment is something that usually leads to an expectation hangover.

Why does attachment lead to disappointment?

When we are attached to getting a specific result we put far more pressure on ourselves, another person, or a situation. Instead of being in the flow of life, we put our desires in a pressure cooker and project way too far into the future. For example, you have an idea for a business and you begin to set specific goals that you want to hit. As soon as you believe that hitting those goals is going to make you successful, happy, or whatever it is that you want to feel, you are attached. Or let’s say you are longing for a relationship and someone comes along who has potential. The second you want it to turn into anything more than it is right in that very moment creates attachment.

When we become attached to the outcome of how we want something to turn out, we miss out on a lot of things. We miss out on clearly hearing the voice of our intuition because we are future focused and intuition resides in the present moment. We miss out on the preciousness of the moment. We get so caught up in an end result that we skip the learning that comes with being right here, right now. We also miss out on guidance from the Universe or possible red flags because we are so tunnel vision focused on what we want.

So does this mean that we should not want things? Or does it mean we should not set goals?

Well first of all I would not dare to “should” all over you but I will offer you my point of view on this that comes from a LOT of life experience of setting goals and wanting things . . . and consequently expectation hangovers!

Desire is not bad or wrong. It is an important feeling to have because it is a compass. Yet we often misunderstand desire. We think we desire a form or result but we truly desire is the feeling that we believe that form or result will give us. Going back to the examples from above, if you have a career goal it is actually not the goal your mind came up with that is driving you. You are really chasing the feeling you think achieving that goal will give you. Will achieving a goal make you feel successful, proud, and financially secure? If so, generate those feelings without having to hit any specific goal and allow your plans to unfold. Similarly, if you want a relationship, you are really chasing the feeling you think being in a relationship will give you. Will being in a relationship make you feel loved, validated, and passionate? If so, generate those feelings without needing someone else there.

The way to let go of attachment AND still get what you desire is to cultivate the feelings you think what you want will give you without actually having to have it.

Are you willing to let go of your attachment to the belief that you need something external to make you feel a certain way?

Back to what Amir said, “The best way to get what you want is not to want it.” If you are currently cultivating the feelings you desire in the future, you would long for nothing because your experience would be one of completeness. Nothing would feel like it was missing. And from this whole place, anything else that happens only enhances the experience you are already having.

You would be able to let go of the energy of attachment, which I assure you will create much more flow, joy and presence in your life. It also will not push away people or opportunities that feel the pressure cooker of your attachment energy.

I get that this is not an easy concept to comprehend, much less practice, because we live in a world where we are very conditioned to be believe our feelings are a result of results, but they are not. Our truest feelings and desires come from our inner truth and the more tapped in we are to the truth of who we are, the more we realize that we truly have everything we need and want.

I realize you may have thoughts and questions on this topic so please comment and let’s get a discussion going!

Much love,

Christine

P.S.

Coaches Corner: The Mask of Masculinity with Lewis Howes

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This is an incredibly candid, informative and vulnerable chat with my longtime friend and all around powerhouse, Lewis Howes. Listen in as we talk about the masks of masculinity, why men act a certain way, the healing power of expressing our feelings, relationship tips and so much more!

Listen to EP 128 as a compliment to this interview!

Lewis Howes is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. He hosts a top 100 iTunes ranked podcast, The School of Greatness, which has over 5 million downloads and 500 episodes since its launch in 2013. Lewis was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30.

Get his book, The Mask Of Masculinity here: http://bit.ly/2FC0gCe

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