Tag Archives: forgiveness

Episode 104: Getting Closure with an Ex with Jobe

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This episode is about a romantic relationship, specifically the end of a romantic relationship. Today’s caller, Jobe, can’t seem to get over his ex-girlfriend. My coaching went in a direction that surprised us both as it seemed Jobe needed closure in more than one relationship.

There were three main areas I coached Jobe in so he could move on.

One, Jobe had a lack of self-love. He sourced his love from his ex. It’s hard to get over someone when they are our source of love — because we need love. We go through withdrawal because love can be an addiction.

The second thing that makes it hard to move on is wearing rose-colored glasses when looking at the relationship in the rear view mirror. Jobe’s relationship was an issue-based relationship. There was a lot of chemistry but it wasn’t healthy.

And, I sensed a lack of forgiveness in Jobe. We move on when we forgive.  Forgiving isn’t condoning a behavior, forgiving is about letting go of judgment, resentment, regret, and anger, so you can be free.

We have a hard time moving on from a relationship when there is a lingering issue that needs completion. Often our consciousness doesn’t let something go when we need to go back and clean something up.

On October 11th, I will be teaching a free master class to share information about my Personal Mastery Course, Over It and On With It. Sign up to receive early bird notifications and discounts. There are even special bonuses for those who sign up early.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you having a hard time getting over an ex? Do you still need closure?
  • Are you in a relationship that is passionate, but also volatile?
  • Are you in a romantic relationship with someone who has a child?
  • Do you source love from other people?

Jobe’s Question:

Jobe would like to know how to get over his ex for once and for all.

Jobe’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is struggling to get his ex out of his head.
  • He relied on his ex as a source of love.
  • The relationship had many ups and downs.
  • He had a good relationship with his ex’s child.
  • He has been selfish since the breakup.
  • It’s time for him to figure out who he is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • It’s important for him to express his feelings to the child involved.
  • He should reassure the child to help her gain closure.
  • He needs to generate a source of love from within himself.

Takeaways:

  • If you are getting over an ex, you need to cut the cord and focus on yourself. Be the best partner you can to yourself.
  • If you are seeking closure with someone, think about where you need to forgive, let go, and where you might be out of integrity. Is there something you need to clean up to be complete?
  • Make new agreements of how you want to show up in a relationship. Write vows or commitments to yourself about the kind of partner you want to be and honor those agreements.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

“Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course”

The Art of Charm Podcast, with Jordan Harbinger

Facing Love Addiction, by Pia Mellody

Tweetables:

Love is a verb, not just an emotion. We can not expect to only feel love, we must be love.… Click To Tweet

Look at what is the highest good for everyone in a situation, not just your own self-interest.… Click To Tweet

It’s pointless to feel bad or guilty. It doesn’t inspire action, and it keeps you in victim… Click To Tweet

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EP 94: Forgiving the Seemingly Unforgivable with Jen

EP94v1This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn’t believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most.

One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one.

Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you don’t have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future.

Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life. Are you focusing too much on the people that didn’t love you in the way you wanted, and missing out on all the love around you?

Would you like to connect more with me and receive a resource to help you transform into owning your purpose? Use this link, ChristineHassler.com/SpiritJunkie to enroll in Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass by June 29th and receive access to the class, a one-hour one-on-one coaching session with me, a one-month membership to my Inner Circle Community, a download of my guided meditation CD and more.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

Is there someone you have not been able to forgive because you truly feel what they did is unforgivable?

Is there someone you are blaming for your not having what you want in your life?

Do you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios and feel that things just don’t go your way in life?

Did you grow up around addicts or as the child of addicts?

Jen’s Question:

Jen would like to forgive her mother and accept that her parents did the best they could.

Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:

She didn’t get the love and attention she wanted as a child.

She wants closure with her mother who recently passed.

She feels broken.

She’s created the healthy family she always wanted.

She is keeping herself from fully appreciating and accepting the love of her current family.

She is using her past as a scapegoat.

As a child, she had low expectations so she wouldn’t be disappointed.

It wasn’t her job to save her parents.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

She shouldn’t identify with the victim role, and understand she received what she needed.

She should stop mimicking her mother’s behaviors.

She should do projection work and let the love that exists in her current life in.

She should have appreciation and have life-affirming and positive thoughts.

Takeaways:

If there is someone you want to hear something from, some kind of forgiveness, write a letter to you from them. Write down all the things you wanted to hear from them and read it to yourself.

Do projection work. Look at judgments you have towards others and see how you may be doing it in your own life, externally or internally.

Be honest about the cost of holding onto a grudge and write down what it is keeping you from. Write down all the blessings you have in life and how you may be blinded to them because of the grudge.

Have positive expectations and use your imagination to consider the best-case scenario.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Coaches Corner with Gabby Bernstein — Turn Your Pain Into Purpose

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Tweetables:

Addiction is the illusion of separation and expecting to find something external to make us feel a certain… Click To Tweet

A big part of forgiveness and closure is doing projection work on yourself.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

Take off the armor you have around your heart. You deserve to be seen through the eyes of… Click To Tweet

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