Tag Archives: forgiveness

144: When Your Past is Haunting Your Present with Rachel

EP144

This call is about creating your future instead of reliving your past. Today’s caller, Rachel, has a deep fear of loss. When her husband cheated on her, she felt as though she forgave him but she is having trouble getting over it and on with the life she wants.

Usually when there is cheating the person who has been cheated on blames themselves or wonders what they did wrong. Anyone who has been cheated on has done nothing wrong. Choose to let go, accept that it happened, let it go, heal the past and create the future you desire.

Anything you are thinking about SO much that you feel a payoff just from thinking about it, I encourage you to get the payoff in a different, more supportive way. Instead, think about a goal or experience that lights you up. Choose to let it go so you can enjoy the present and create your future rather than reliving your past.

For example, If you keep thinking about a mistake you made instead of beating yourself up over and over again, think about how you will apply the lessons you learned to a future event.

Not allowing ourselves to go backward requires conscious discipline. We cannot just feel our feelings and forget about it. We have to be committed to shifting our thoughts.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past you feel have forgiven and gotten over but you continue to think about it?
  • Are there things from your past you haven’t dealt with so they haunt your present?
  • Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
  • Have people in your life died or abandoned you in some way that you fear loss so much it impacts your ability to open your heart to love?

Rachel’s Question:

Rachel wants to get over the pain of adultery and on with her relationship.

Rachel’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband cheated.
  • She hasn’t forgiven herself.
  • She sweeps things under the rug.
  • She lost many people in her life.
  • She’s comfortable being sad and scared.
  • She had a codependent relationship with her mother.
  • She lacks a sense of self.
  • She was in denial about her mother’s death.
  • She projects her issues on to her girls.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to work with a professional or coach to work through her issues.
  • She should attend my Signature Retreat in the Spring of 2019.
  • She should read Expectation Hangover.
  • She needs to love and forgive herself.

Assignments For You:

  • If there is something you are stuck on write in your journal using the sentence starter ‘This reminds me of…’ and ‘I’ve felt like this before’ to see what memories come up.
  • If you have a lot of emotion coming up that you are having a hard time managing get some help. Don’t let money be the reason you don’t get help.
  • If you are feeling triggered or can’t get over something, Expectation Hangover is the holistic way to get over any type of disappointment.
  • If you are in the sadness or victim zone, bring more fun and pleasure into your life.

Sponsors:

Daily Harvest — delivers frozen, one-step prep, plant-based eats, and refreshing drinks right to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups added to your first box.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Expectation Hangover

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Suicide Prevention Lifeline — 800-273-TALK (8255)

Tweetables:

It’s not healthy for mothers and daughters to be best friends. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet To heal, uncover your belief systems and feel your feelings with compassion rather than with… Click To Tweet When we have trouble shifting it is because there is something old coming up that wants to be… Click To Tweet

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EP 126: How to Accept Your Body No Matter What Its Shape or Physical Condition with Aly

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This call is about self-acceptance and self-love. Today’s caller, Aly, wants to move into acceptance of an illness but she is attempting to do it with a lot of judgment about herself and not from a place of love.

It’s wonderful to be a seeker but it’s important to be mindful of coming from a place of wanting to learn and grow, not from the place of, there is something wrong with me and I need to fix it. If you are overdosing on personal growth from the perspective of ‘solving all your problems’ — you are not broken!

Self-love is a daily practice and sometimes even a moment-to-moment practice. Self-love is truly the process and practice of acceptance. We are human. We are not going to love everything about ourselves all the time. We are going to say and do things that we may want to take back. It’s OK. Self-love is about forgiving ourselves in the process.

Remember we always have another present moment to do better. The key to acceptance is taking responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors without beating yourself up. You are not broken!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you see yourself as a constant self-improvement project?
  • Do you approach self-love with an all-or-nothing attitude?
  • Are you hard on yourself — especially your body?
  • Is there something you are attempting to get rid of by sweeping it under the rug or hating it?

Aly’s Question:

Aly has spent many years trying to get rid of chronic disease and would like to know how to accept it and get unstuck.

Aly’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels she is not good enough.
  • She can’t seem to accept who she is.
  • She is afraid to be happy.
  • She uses her weight as a happiness meter.
  • She abuses herself and feels guilty about it.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to realize she is not broken.
  • She should get the anger out by writing letters to the guys who broke her heart.
  • She should write an apology letter to her body.
  • She should give her body a love bath every morning.
  • By realizing she is proud of herself.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Give yourself permission to write an F-U letter — write it and then destroy it.
  • Write an apology letter to your body using these sentence stems:
    • I’m sorry because…
    • I’m learning from you that…
    • I forgive myself for…
    • I forgive you, body, for…
  • Give yourself a body love bath.
  • Make self-honoring choices and make new agreements with yourself.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

The key to acceptance is taking responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors without beating… Click To Tweet

Do you approach your self-love and self-improvement goals thinking you need to fix yourself?… Click To Tweet

You are not broken. Stop relating to yourself as a constant self-improvement project.… Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: America’s #1 Transformation Coach Drew Canole

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You’ll LOVE this conversation. Drew came over to my house and we had an incredible chat that covered a lot of ground: healing our past, forgiveness, relationships, health and weight release, detox, and SO much more.

Fueled by small-town values and a big vision for a better planet, Drew Canole begins each day with one simple goal in mind – to positively impact the lives of others. Through his work as a Personal Coach and endeavors such as EnrichYourExistence.com and FitLife.tv, Drew aims to inspire and motivate others to search deep within themselves to create an abundant, healthy and fulfilling life. “Improve one life; improve the world.”

Drew was born and raised in the small, rural community of Lake City in Northern Michigan. After attending Central Michigan University, he launched a successful career in finance before recognizing that his greatest talent was helping others discover their untapped potential. He currently resides in San Diego, where his work as an author, fitness specialist and transformation expert has made him one of the most reputable Personal Coaches in Southern California.

Drew is committed to the conviction that people are at their best when challenged. He pushes others to bust through personal barriers and reach new heights in physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

http://fitlife.tv/

https://www.organifishop.com coupon code CHRISTINE to get 20% off.

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Episode 104: Getting Closure with an Ex with Jobe

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This episode is about a romantic relationship, specifically the end of a romantic relationship. Today’s caller, Jobe, can’t seem to get over his ex-girlfriend. My coaching went in a direction that surprised us both as it seemed Jobe needed closure in more than one relationship.

There were three main areas I coached Jobe in so he could move on.

One, Jobe had a lack of self-love. He sourced his love from his ex. It’s hard to get over someone when they are our source of love — because we need love. We go through withdrawal because love can be an addiction.

The second thing that makes it hard to move on is wearing rose-colored glasses when looking at the relationship in the rear view mirror. Jobe’s relationship was an issue-based relationship. There was a lot of chemistry but it wasn’t healthy.

And, I sensed a lack of forgiveness in Jobe. We move on when we forgive.  Forgiving isn’t condoning a behavior, forgiving is about letting go of judgment, resentment, regret, and anger, so you can be free.

We have a hard time moving on from a relationship when there is a lingering issue that needs completion. Often our consciousness doesn’t let something go when we need to go back and clean something up.

On October 11th, I will be teaching a free master class to share information about my Personal Mastery Course, Over It and On With It. Sign up to receive early bird notifications and discounts. There are even special bonuses for those who sign up early.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you having a hard time getting over an ex? Do you still need closure?
  • Are you in a relationship that is passionate, but also volatile?
  • Are you in a romantic relationship with someone who has a child?
  • Do you source love from other people?

Jobe’s Question:

Jobe would like to know how to get over his ex for once and for all.

Jobe’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is struggling to get his ex out of his head.
  • He relied on his ex as a source of love.
  • The relationship had many ups and downs.
  • He had a good relationship with his ex’s child.
  • He has been selfish since the breakup.
  • It’s time for him to figure out who he is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • It’s important for him to express his feelings to the child involved.
  • He should reassure the child to help her gain closure.
  • He needs to generate a source of love from within himself.

Takeaways:

  • If you are getting over an ex, you need to cut the cord and focus on yourself. Be the best partner you can to yourself.
  • If you are seeking closure with someone, think about where you need to forgive, let go, and where you might be out of integrity. Is there something you need to clean up to be complete?
  • Make new agreements of how you want to show up in a relationship. Write vows or commitments to yourself about the kind of partner you want to be and honor those agreements.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

“Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course”

The Art of Charm Podcast, with Jordan Harbinger

Facing Love Addiction, by Pia Mellody

Tweetables:

Love is a verb, not just an emotion. We can not expect to only feel love, we must be love.… Click To Tweet

Look at what is the highest good for everyone in a situation, not just your own self-interest.… Click To Tweet

It’s pointless to feel bad or guilty. It doesn’t inspire action, and it keeps you in victim… Click To Tweet

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