Tag Archives: Healing

I got the boot!

Yup. I got the boot – both literally and metaphorically. I’ll explain . . .

About three weeks ago while I was still in Australia I woke up and could barely walk on my right foot. Being the active (and sometimes stubborn) person that I am, I did not let it stop me from walking or exercising. I assumed it was something that would get better and was in complete denial that I could be injured.

Then a week went by. The pain and swelling intensified so much so that it woke me up at 3am! Fortunately, my inner wisdom reminded me that one of my best friends in Australia has a wife who is a podiatrist. She came over the next day and confirmed that I was injured.

Expectation hangover! I have dealt with quite a lot of physical things this year, and to say that I am over feeling uncomfortable and limited in my body is an understatement. So after an X-ray confirmed it was indeed a stress fracture (caused by walking too much in flip-flops and running barefoot on uneven sand), I will admit I was really sad.

Of course I realize it could be much worse, but as in any moment of an expectation hangover, I have learned (and now teach), that honoring our natural emotions arising in the situation is important. Skipping to the “sliver lining” too soon is a form of emotional suppression, which in the short term may feel good but is not a healthy way of coping.

So I had a good cry and laid around my Airbnb for a day (which just happened to be in Byron Bay one of the most beautiful and walk-able beach cities in Australia) because I had to be off my foot for 24 hours.

Next I had to move into acceptance, which is CRUCIAL when dealing with any expectation hangover. Acceptance does not mean we like what is happening, rather it just means we stop wishing it were different. We accept what we cannot change and focus on what we can.

The only thing I could change was my attitude and my actions. I decided to rent a car so I could get around. I got an orthopedic shoe until I could get back to Sydney and get my boot. I asked for more help and more help was generously given to me, some without my even asking – like a super cute Aussie fireman carrying me to the beach and into the ocean so I could go for a swim.

However in full transparency, keeping an upbeat attitude has been a bit challenging and
here’s why . . .

I love to MOVE. I value exercise so much and not just for keeping me physically fit but also for what it does for my mindset. Not being able to sweat and move around like I usually do really affected my mood. I felt blah and irritable! Also, being in a boot completely threw off my alignment so my tailbone, hips, spine, and neck have been totally off. My whole body was in pain, not just my foot.

I am sharing this with you for two very important reasons! My message today is a bit of a PSA. I am on my soapbox but I only get on my soapbox when I 100% believe that what I am encouraging you to do matters.

Reason #1: If you suffer from any kind of depression, anxiety, lack of motivation, or just overall blah feeling you need to MOVE. We live way too much of a sedentary life and our brains rely on endorphins from movement. Find a form of movement you like and make the time to exercise. Even getting your heart rate up for 20 minutes creates massive benefits! No excuses.

Reason #2: Get your body in alignment. Driving, sitting at a computer, carrying around children, traveling, sleeping in a weird position, and even working out with poor form are just some of the ways we throw our spine and neck out of alignment. When we are out of alignment it also affects our brain as well as other organs in the body. I see people running from doctor to doctor with pain or medical problems that could be solved by seeing a really good chiropractor, osteopath or physical therapist. Now you may say that is too expensive but what will cost you more are health problems down the road.

Out of my top 5 core values, health is #1 because if I do not have that, the other ones are impossible to live out. I have always known exercise and alignment are important. Now that I have personally experienced the consequences of when those things are not in place, I am even more emphatic about making exercise and alignment a priority!

And even when we do (like I have for nearly 20 years), life happens. Injuries are not possible to avoid completely so when we experience one, we must listen to what our body needs and is attempting to tell us. The message I got from my foot is that I need to step forward in certain areas of my life. There have been ways I have been stalling, staying in things that are not for my highest good, and not stepping fully into things that support me. My body also needed a bit of a break (forgive the pun) from moving around so much. Since February 1st, I have not spent more than 10 nights in one place.

Message received. Thank you, right foot.

Now that I am back in San Diego and have been grounded for a bit, while stepping forward in the areas I need to, my foot is getting better. I intend to be out of the boot by the end of this week and know the power of our bodies to heal. That said, I am not trying to be any kind of hero through this. I want total healing and will not rush it even though I am DYING to get back to my regular workouts.

I appreciate your well wishes. So many of you have reached out to me via social media so thank you. Like any expectation hangover, this is ultimately a blessing. I am not sure when I will be back to my regular routine but I am 100% certain that I will never take my ability to move for granted again.

I hope this message motivates you to get moving and take even better care of your body. It’s the only one you’ve got – be kind to it and do not take it for granted.

Much love,

Christine

P.S. Have you been wanting to take your coaching business to the next level? Then make sure to register for my Masterclass Training for Coaches, June 30th and July 1st in San Diego, CA. Go here for more details and to register.

EP137: Feeling Unhinged and Rebellious with Jen

EP137This call is about is about getting over body image issues and having a healthy relationship with food. Today’s caller, Jen, has come a long way in healing body related issues but still feels unhinged when it comes to food. She realizes she is making unhealthy choices when it comes to food.

Many times, people who are doing self-love and body image work people do, they try to jump right to loving their body without acknowledging that maybe they are pissed off at it. We often cannot get to the love if we don’t acknowledge the anger.

And to get out of the energy of being a victim we must look at the lessons we learned or the catalyst and how it was useful in our life; otherwise, we will just continue to hold on to the pain.

When we work a lot on our issues, it can often make things more frustrating because we feel we have already done so much work and we don’t understand why we still have the issue. If you relate to this, cut yourself some slack. Remind yourself that growth and healing is a process, not an event. If something comes up again, it means you are ready for the next level of healing.

Whatever your biggie issue is I promise you are on your way. Freedom will come!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you struggle with truly loving your body? Do you feel comfortable and safe in it?
  • Do you rebel when it comes to food and get in a pattern of getting unhinged when you stop restricting yourself?
  • Did you grow up in a strict, religious, or suppressed household?
  • Is sexuality an area of your life in which you feel satisfied and empowered or do you feel disempowered or numb?

Jen’s Question:

Jen would like help in making healthier choices. 

Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She was sexually assaulted and feels shame around it.
  • She doesn’t feel safe in her body.
  • She grew up in a religious family.
  • She felt awkward in her body.
  • She believes her body has caused her more pain than pleasure.
  • She wants to love her body.
  • Much of her joy and pleasure comes from food.
  • She is a Self-Love Coach.
  • She uses food as rebellion.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to explore her sexuality.
  • She should look into S Factor dancing to experience movement and relaxation.
  • She should start talking to her body and write an apology and a love letter to it.
  • She needs to reclaim her body.
  • She should work on her intimate relationship with her body. 

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Growth is a process, not an event. Write down how far you’ve come instead of beating yourself up about how far you have to go.
  • Write an apology and a love letter to Jen.
  • Find out more about exotic dancing and practice expressing your body.
  • Start to notice things throughout the day that feel good about being in your physical body to help create a mind-body connection.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

EP:133 — Reclaiming Your Sexuality and Getting Over Body Image Issues

Oh no, this again? Blog Post 

Tweetables:

You can’t mentally self-talk your way into self-love. In order break through the belief that… Click To Tweet It’s hard to be in self-love without really enjoying being in your body.… Click To Tweet Growth is a process, not an event. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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Did your parents mess you up?

Our parents are the first people we love and look to for guidance and support. They are our first teachers, even if one or both was absent from our lives. They not only teach us how to walk and talk, they also teach us what to believe. Our beliefs about money, God, other people, what it takes to be successful, ourselves, and how the world works, originate from what we saw and heard in our own home. Everything they said or did got stored somewhere in our memory. We yearned for their love, approval and attention.

Needless to say, our parents have a significant impact on our lives. And how they parented us impacts how we parent ourselves today. Many of our core wounds come from things that happened at home. A parent who was critical. A parent who left. A parent who was an addict. A parent who was abusive. A parent who was smothering. A parent who had incredibly high expectations. A parent who was emotionally unavailable. 

I could go on and on. But I won’t because this blog is not about blaming our parents. It is about taking responsibility for our own lives once and for all. 

You have my compassion if you had a parent or parents who you did not feel loved by, seen by, safe with, or acknowledged by. I really get that is a huge challenge to overcome, but you can overcome it.

The first step is to move into 100% acceptance of the parents you had. Let go of any attachment to wanting them to be different in anyway. Let go of any expectation that someday you may get the love from them you desire. 

I realize this may sound crazy, but your parents did the best they could. Really they did. They are just humans. They had their own past and their own parents who impacted how they parented you. You did not come with a manual. Your parents did not have the tools and resources that are available today.

They most likely had their own inner demons that impacted how they showed up for you. The problem is that you took their pain personally. You thought you did something wrong or were unlovable in some way and that is why your parent(s) did not love you the way you wanted. And that huge misunderstanding is the reason why you struggle with self-love, worth, confidence and fulfillment today. 

This struggle can stop once you truly understand that you did NOTHING wrong. You are 100% lovable and worthy of love. You are enough just as you are. There is nothing you need to do to earn love. You are safe.

You must STOP looking to your parents either with blame or with the desire for them to change. It is time to take back your power. It is time to stop being a victim of your circumstances. It is time to stop allowing your past to create your future and present.

How do you do that?

You become the parent to yourself that you did not have. You accept their role in your life and all the lessons you learned. You set boundaries with your parents. You let go of all expectations of them and create your soul family. 

I realize this many not seem like an easy or simple thing to do so I have two recent podcast issues that will help:

Episode 130 

Episode 131

Listen in as I coach Marie and Amy into their own self-love, power, and acceptance. Even if you feel you had amazing parents, there are some incredible take-away’s in these episodes.

Remember: Your parents did the best they could. They did not mess you up. They are the perfect teachers for the things you are here to learn in this lifetime. Forgive them. Forgiveness does not mean you condone their behavior, it means you let go of the judgment and blame so YOU can be free. 

With love,

Christine

p.s. I am headed back to Australia!! On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field.  It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to registerIf you are not interested in this training, but are interested in a one day women’s retreat I am doing or one-on-one sessions with me, email jill@christinehassler.com.

p.p.s. There is opportunity to receive FREE LIVE coaching from me. On Friday, March 23rd I will be video taping a coaching program in San Diego and there will be 6 spaces available to coach people LIVE ON THE AIR. If you live in the local area (or want to come to San Diego) and would like to be part of this program, please email jill@christinehassler.com ASAP. Please title the email LIVE COACHING PLEASE and then in the body of the email share your name, age, location and question or topic of coaching you would like support in.

Note: This will be video recorded and shared with other coaches so they can learn how to support clients.

EP 131: Heal Mommy Issues and Step Into Self-Love with Amy

EP131

This call is about setting boundaries with parents and establishing a sense of self. Today’s caller, Amy, calls in wanting to know how to incorporate self-love into her life but as you will hear in the call, she first needs to set boundaries and to individuate herself from her mother.

Any parent-child relationship, especially the mother-daughter relationship, can be challenging. Parents are often our biggest spiritual teachers and we should accept that they did the best they could. Think about your parents as children. Consider all the things they went through. Many of our parents were raised when there was no access to parenting tips and children don’t come with manuals. So, forgive your parents but also set boundaries with them.

Overprotectiveness can feel like love but it’s not. It is a love based on fear and not true unconditional love. It creates codependency and enmeshment. Amy became her mother’s possession rather than a separate being. She didn’t have a chance to form a sense of self.

It’s dangerous to think of someone as our obsession or belonging. We don’t own other people and we don’t want to love ourselves through others. Being someone’s source of love is enabling. When we become enmeshed with someone we take on their patterns.

If you have a parent or someone in your life you love out of obligation, set boundaries and do not falter. You may not like yourself or them, in the long run, if you don’t hold firm to your boundaries.

Would you like to become a masterful, profitable coach? Is your goal to make an impact in people’s lives and make money? Health Coaches, join me in Sydney, Australia on April 14th and 15th. And, all Coaches and Therapists can join me on June 30 and July 1st in San Diego for a workshop designed to assist both experienced and new coaches to take their coaching business to the next level. Email Jill@ChristineHassler for more information or visit Coach Training.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • When it comes to self-love how are you doing?
  • Does your confidence depend on external things?
  • Are you extremely close to a parent?
  • Are boundaries challenging for you?

Amy’s Question:

Amy wants to know how to incorporate more self-love into her life.

Amy’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She struggles with self-confidence.
  • She allows her physical attributes to determine her self-worth.
  • She has an unhealthy relationship with her mother.
  • She doesn’t have a clear sense of self or of who she is.
  • She feels guilt and an obligation to her mother.
  • She has no sense of self.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to individuate herself from her mother.
  • She should get professional help and research Terri Cole’s work to help her with boundary issues.
  • She should have a conversation with her mother about setting boundaries.
  • She should write a letter and let her mother know what she wants their relationship to be.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Get clear on the quality and health of your current relationships. Reconsider relationships that rob you of your sense of self.
  • If it’s time to set boundaries with someone, write out the conversation you want to have before speaking with them.
  • Write an F-U letter to the person you want to set boundaries with to get your anger out; then rip up the letter. Then, write a letter about how you want the relationship to be.
  • Get some help. Work one-on-one with someone to help you work through and heal yourself.
  • Free yourself.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

Guilt is a made up emotion people impose upon themselves. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

How do you have self-love when you have no sense of self? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Honor yourself by speaking your truth, even to your parents. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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