Tag Archives: letting go

Coaches Corner: Living Free with Amir Zoghi

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Amir Zoghi is a longtime friend who continues to inspire me to live freely and be the fullest expression of who I truly am. He is an international speaker, author, teacher, entrepreneur and now pilot and aviation business owner. In this Coaches Corner, we talk about how to deal with negativity, following your feelings (or intuition), what intuition really is and what it is not, and mindset. This is an incredibly rich conversation that I encourage you to feel, not just hear.

Learn more about Amir and his programs at www.amirzoghi.com

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Coaches Corner: The Art of Letting Go

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In this episode of Coaches Corner Christine teaches you how to truly let go of what you want. She explains why to get what you want, you have to not want it. Learn how attachment to result happens and why it actually sabotages what we truly desire.

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EP 99: Letting Go of an Ex with Michelle


This episode is about making self-serving decisions. I coach today’s caller, Michelle, through a decision about her long-term relationship. As you can hear in the call, Michelle intuitively knows what she should do, but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

People feel most confident to make a decision or choice when they feel empowered. We feel most empowered when we arrive at our own answers. During the session, I reflected back to Michelle, and I asked her a lot of questions so she could get to her own answers.

Michelle was invested in saving her husband, but was it more about him or her? Her intentions were pure, but she was outsourcing her self-worth by trying to save him. There was a limiting belief that if she saves or heals him it gives her value.

It’s important to unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior. Go back and listen to my after-the-call breakdown of Episode #97 with Trinette for my explanation of what codependency is.

All of us struggle, at one point, with a breakup, a challenging relationship, or lack of a relationship. Our struggles are often a catalyst to dive into personal growth work. We all want love and we all desire healthy, fulfilling relationships.

This is why I designed a special course, Get Over Your Breakup & On with Love. It includes all of my best stuff when it comes to love and relationships. It is for anyone who is looking to get over a hurt and step into self-love and a loving relationship. Over and On With It Podcast listeners get $100 off the course until Sept. 1st. Simply use the promo code: PODCAST.

Also, thanks to those of you who signed up for my Summer of Love Challenge. There are more Challenges coming, so sign up to get a daily email about spreading and sharing love, from me. Plus, when you sign up you become eligible to get 6-months free in my Inner Circle Membership Community.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you still hanging on to an ex, either emotionally or physically, even though you know it’s unhealthy to still be engaged?
  • Do you love taking care of others? Is part of your identity to help others or save others?
  • When it comes to self-love, are you good at taking outward actions, but maybe not so good at the internal compassion?
  • Are you more concerned about someone else’s feelings than your own?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself and give herself positive encouragement.


  • Check out my “Get Over a Breakup and On” with Love course.
  • Make a list of your healthy agreements in relationships.
  • Make a list of all the things you are good at doing for other people, and then do them for yourself.


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Christine Hassler

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Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

The Spouse House


Podcast listeners get a special discount when signing up for my “Get Over Your Breakup and On… Click To Tweet

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Unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior, and give yourself what you give to… Click To Tweet


EP 61: Letting Go of Expectations and Pressure from Others with Lorena

EP61v2When we are so paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes or failing, we don’t develop grit. Grit is what gives us confidence. If we don’t have to figure things out on our own we find ourselves paralyzed when making choices as we get older. When parents place too many expectations on their children, their children may grow into adults that don’t know what they truly want.

If you are a millennial, take the pressure off of yourself to make the right choice and allow yourself to make a mistake. Failure is how you learn. If you are the boss, manager or parent of a millennial, stop making all of their decisions for them.

This episode will be useful for ANYONE at any age.

Today’s caller, Lorena, is having a highly-charged emotional reaction to the circumstances in her life. The pressure of living up to parental expectations is clouding her ability to decide what she truly wants.

  • If you are a millennial and you are having difficulty with your parents, remember you are the child. It is not your responsibility to live up to their expectations.
  • If you are the parent of a millennial, it’s time to let them go so they can be their own person. Let them make their own mistakes. Stop telling them who they are so they can discover it for themselves.
  • If you relate to having a high-standard of achievement, don’t let achievement to become your identity. Don’t let your self-worth be hooked to your achievements.

People get tripped up when they start with the end game instead of having a vision of how they would like to feel. Sometimes it is just about taking the first step.

Consider where you may be holding yourself prisoner by letting someone else define you? How can you step into freedom by defining who you are and making your own choices?

Coaches – Lorena’s belief system was triggering her emotional response. As you can tell by her response, it was greater than what was necessary for what was really going on. Remember, there is what happens, and then what we make it mean. When working with people you want to honor and hold space for their emotions, at the same time ask questions to shift belief systems. Your goal is not to coddle a person but to get them into their insight.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you ever feel upset over something you shouldn’t be so emotionally triggered by?
  • Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to live up to your own expectations or those of others?
  • Have you received a lot of external validation for your achievements, and you constantly crave it?
  • Do you feel that you owe someone something, or that you have something to prove?

Lorena’s Question:

Lorena has recently decided to start over and go back to school to give herself the opportunity to do something greater. But, she doesn’t know what she wants to do.

Lorena’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She wants to have an end goal.
  • She excelled at academics and was praised for it.
  • She feels she doesn’t meet her parent’s expectations.
  • She may be too emotionally upset to reach clarity.
  • She doesn’t want to end up resenting her parents.
  • She appreciates the difference in her life and her parent’s life.
  • She should use the gifts her parents have given her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should realize she is the child and she doesn’t have to live her life according to their expectations.
  • She should express her gratitude toward her parents, plus let them know she needs to make her own mistakes.
  • She needs to stand in her own choices.
  • She needs to let go of her guilt in order to be free to explore.
  • She should write a letter to her parents and ask them to support her.
  • She should listen to her inner voice.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • If you are having a difficult situation with someone, write a letter to them, even if it is emotionally charged.
  • If you experience heightened emotions, take a deep breathe and ask yourself “What do I know to be true in this moment?”
  • What belief systems are you wearing that just don’t fit anymore, or are they actually someone else’s beliefs?


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