Tag Archives: love

EP 99: Letting Go of an Ex with Michelle

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This episode is about making self-serving decisions. I coach today’s caller, Michelle, through a decision about her long-term relationship. As you can hear in the call, Michelle intuitively knows what she should do, but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

People feel most confident to make a decision or choice when they feel empowered. We feel most empowered when we arrive at our own answers. During the session, I reflected back to Michelle, and I asked her a lot of questions so she could get to her own answers.

Michelle was invested in saving her husband, but was it more about him or her? Her intentions were pure, but she was outsourcing her self-worth by trying to save him. There was a limiting belief that if she saves or heals him it gives her value.

It’s important to unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior. Go back and listen to my after-the-call breakdown of Episode #97 with Trinette for my explanation of what codependency is.

All of us struggle, at one point, with a breakup, a challenging relationship, or lack of a relationship. Our struggles are often a catalyst to dive into personal growth work. We all want love and we all desire healthy, fulfilling relationships.

This is why I designed a special course, Get Over Your Breakup & On with Love. It includes all of my best stuff when it comes to love and relationships. It is for anyone who is looking to get over a hurt and step into self-love and a loving relationship. Over and On With It Podcast listeners get $100 off the course until Sept. 1st. Simply use the promo code: PODCAST.

Also, thanks to those of you who signed up for my Summer of Love Challenge. There are more Challenges coming, so sign up to get a daily email about spreading and sharing love, from me. Plus, when you sign up you become eligible to get 6-months free in my Inner Circle Membership Community.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you still hanging on to an ex, either emotionally or physically, even though you know it’s unhealthy to still be engaged?
  • Do you love taking care of others? Is part of your identity to help others or save others?
  • When it comes to self-love, are you good at taking outward actions, but maybe not so good at the internal compassion?
  • Are you more concerned about someone else’s feelings than your own?

Michelle’s Question:

Michelle wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Michelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself and give herself positive encouragement.

Assignments:

  • Check out my “Get Over a Breakup and On” with Love course.
  • Make a list of your healthy agreements in relationships.
  • Make a list of all the things you are good at doing for other people, and then do them for yourself.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

The Spouse House

Tweetables:

Podcast listeners get a special discount when signing up for my “Get Over Your Breakup and On… Click To Tweet

People feel most confident to make a decision or choice when they feel empowered.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Unhook yourself from the role of caretaker or savior, and give yourself what you give to… Click To Tweet

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Keep it simple

The little things go a long way.  So often we focus on the big changes we want to make in life or the big problems we need to solve and forget about the little, simple things we can do on a daily basis that create big change over time.

I was reminded of this last week after hosting our first ever community love challenge – a special thank you to all those who participated! Each day we focused on one little thing to do to feel and share love.  The shifts that happened were amazing! There was so much love, joy and inspiration that was spread. 

On my Facebook Live (you can watch the replay here) where I announced the winner, so many people shared how uplifting the challenge was.  They were amazed at how much of a positive shift they felt just by doing small things like a random act of kindness.

My message to you today is to STOP working so hard. STOP trying so hard.  STOP attempting to figure things out. STOP thinking about it so much.

Instead START doing one small thing each day that brings you joy. Listen and dance to your favorite song.  Buy yourself flowers. Call a friend you miss. Take 10 minutes to read a great book or some poetry (I’ve been obsessed with Rumi lately). 

It does not take much to feel love. Love is so accessible at all times. It only feels unreachable when we are judging ourselves, a situation, or another person.  Even during expectation hangovers, you can fill yourself up with love by focusing on small things each day that feel uplifting.

This is why a daily practice is so important. When you make “you time” a non-negotiable, even if it’s only five minutes per day, it is so much easier to not lose your connection to love.  Self love. The people you love.  Nature. Animals. Beautiful places and things. There is just so so SO much to love!

One of the many reasons I started our membership community, Inner Circle, is because I know the tremendous value of having a daily practice that supports you in staying positive and uplifted.  If you are not a member yet, I hope you consider joining us and basking in all the love we share there! This month we are focusing on authenticity and authentic self-expression so it’s a great month to join.

Go here to learn more about Inner Circle.

And speaking of love, stay tuned for an invitation to join my first ever love course which I’ll be sharing next week.  Oh, and don’t miss this week’s podcast episode 99: Letting Go of an Ex with Michelle. Listen here.

Love,

Christine

Why do we push love away?

We long for love.  We want to fall in love, feel loved and love others.

So why is it that sometimes when love comes our direction, we get scared and push it away?  If we want love so badly, why do we run from it when it comes? What makes us engage in sabotaging behaviors or question whether we can trust the love that is coming our direction?

This is exactly the topic I explore in episode 91 of Over It and On With It. I coach Samantha who is in a new relationship that is very loving; however, she notices herself having a lot of anxiety her lovability and whether or not she can trust love, which is causing her to push him away.

This is an important episode to listen to no matter if you are in relationship or not because we touch on some of the big fears when it comes to receiving any kind of love or attention. Listen here.

You see all of us want love and to be seen, but when it comes right down to actually receiving love and letting love FULLY in, it can feel incredibly overwhelming.

When we lack self-love and doubt our own lovability, we get scared and push love away. We do this from little things like deflecting compliments to big things like “testing” people that are close to us by seeing how many buttons we can push in them until they run.

We have a story about love like “love leaves” or “people that love me hurt me” or “I’m not good at love”  . . . and then as much as we don’t want to relieve that story, our attempts to protect ourselves from it end up recreating it.

How do we shift this and truly LET LOVE IN? That’s the question I answer as I coach Samantha.

>>Go here to listen to Episode 91<<

There is nothing you have to do to deserve love.  Trust your lovability and let love in.

The only way to get the love you want, is to go all in.((Tweet This!!))

With love,
Christine

p.s. How would you like VIP access to an incredible tribe of like-minded people and me as your coach?  If that sounds appealing, then join my Inner Circle!  This unique, intimate group composed of men and women from around the world and you can enroll at any time. It is a monthly membership that you can cancel at any time. Learn more here or email jill@christinehassler.com to set up a call and discover if Inner Circle is right for you.

EP 71: I Am Afraid of Losing What I Love! With Nicole

EP71v2Today’s episode is about being confident in your current relationship. During this coaching session with Nicole, she tells me she is in her first serious romantic relationship, and she is afraid she is going to sabotage it.

Nicole is to be acknowledged for her level of awareness and coachability during this call. It was fun to work with her to update her belief systems and to get her excited about learning how to be in a relationship. One thing we didn’t talk about was her possible “Upper Limits” issue. Nicole is getting more love and emotional availability than she ever has before, which is what she wants; she just doesn’t know what to do with it.

I wanted to empower Nicole to enjoy the relationship she’s in, because it’s important to know the difference between when it’s time to go back into our past and chip away at something, and when it’s time to get over it and on with our lives. So, we worked on Nicole’s belief systems, and I allowed her to adopt a beginner’s mind. She didn’t have a healthy model for being in a romantic relationship, so I recommended she learn about what a healthy romantic relationship is.

Get my guide, 6 Steps to Intuitive Decision Making, free when you check out my fresh and updated website.

My Inner Circle membership community is growing quickly. It’s a place you can hang out with like-minded people, where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my customized, guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com, with any questions you may have.

* There are only 2 spots left for my Women’s Spring Retreat March 10-12. Sign up today, so you don’t miss out.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something in your life you are afraid of losing?
  • Do you feel new at something, and feel you should just know how to do it?
  • Are you aware or think you have some limiting beliefs from your past that are negatively impacting your current situation?

Nicole’s Question:

Nicole would like to know why she feels triggered to leave romantic relationships.

Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s afraid of losing the things she cares about.
  • She felt her parents were emotionally unavailable.
  • She feels it’s better to be alone than to feel disconnected when she’s with someone.
  • She gets panicked in the moment.
  • She will try enjoying her relationship more.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should reprogram her brain with her new belief system.
  • When she feels panicked she should place one hand on her heart and one on her belly, and ask, “What do I need, right now?”
  • She should get books to help her learn about love and relationships.
  • She should have patience, get excited, and have fun.

Assignments:

  • Are you having an Upper Limits issue? Check out The Big Leap, by
    Gay Hendricks and listen to my Upper Limits Coaches Corner. Make a list of all the reasons you deserve the good things that are happening to you.
  • Update and reframe your belief systems. Go to Byron Katie’s The Work for free worksheets.
  • Have a beginner’s mind.

Sponsor:

ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link.

Freshbooks: Get a Free 30-Day Unrestricted Trial to Online Accounting Software. Enter “Over It and On With It” in the ‘How did you hear about us?’ section.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Assist@ChristineHassler.com – Send your questions to Christine anytime.
David Deida
Alison Armstrong
Harville Hendricks

Tweetables:

We all deserve love and happiness. It’s what we are here for. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
A lot of us didn’t have healthy models of what a spiritual-conscious romantic relationship looks like.… Click To Tweet
There is a difference between the needy that comes from insecurity, and needy that comes vulnerability.… Click To Tweet

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