Tag Archives: past

144: When Your Past is Haunting Your Present with Rachel

EP144

This call is about creating your future instead of reliving your past. Today’s caller, Rachel, has a deep fear of loss. When her husband cheated on her, she felt as though she forgave him but she is having trouble getting over it and on with the life she wants.

Usually when there is cheating the person who has been cheated on blames themselves or wonders what they did wrong. Anyone who has been cheated on has done nothing wrong. Choose to let go, accept that it happened, let it go, heal the past and create the future you desire.

Anything you are thinking about SO much that you feel a payoff just from thinking about it, I encourage you to get the payoff in a different, more supportive way. Instead, think about a goal or experience that lights you up. Choose to let it go so you can enjoy the present and create your future rather than reliving your past.

For example, If you keep thinking about a mistake you made instead of beating yourself up over and over again, think about how you will apply the lessons you learned to a future event.

Not allowing ourselves to go backward requires conscious discipline. We cannot just feel our feelings and forget about it. We have to be committed to shifting our thoughts.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past you feel have forgiven and gotten over but you continue to think about it?
  • Are there things from your past you haven’t dealt with so they haunt your present?
  • Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
  • Have people in your life died or abandoned you in some way that you fear loss so much it impacts your ability to open your heart to love?

Rachel’s Question:

Rachel wants to get over the pain of adultery and on with her relationship.

Rachel’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband cheated.
  • She hasn’t forgiven herself.
  • She sweeps things under the rug.
  • She lost many people in her life.
  • She’s comfortable being sad and scared.
  • She had a codependent relationship with her mother.
  • She lacks a sense of self.
  • She was in denial about her mother’s death.
  • She projects her issues on to her girls.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to work with a professional or coach to work through her issues.
  • She should attend my Signature Retreat in the Spring of 2019.
  • She should read Expectation Hangover.
  • She needs to love and forgive herself.

Assignments For You:

  • If there is something you are stuck on write in your journal using the sentence starter ‘This reminds me of…’ and ‘I’ve felt like this before’ to see what memories come up.
  • If you have a lot of emotion coming up that you are having a hard time managing get some help. Don’t let money be the reason you don’t get help.
  • If you are feeling triggered or can’t get over something, Expectation Hangover is the holistic way to get over any type of disappointment.
  • If you are in the sadness or victim zone, bring more fun and pleasure into your life.

Sponsors:

Daily Harvest — delivers frozen, one-step prep, plant-based eats, and refreshing drinks right to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups added to your first box.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Expectation Hangover

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Suicide Prevention Lifeline — 800-273-TALK (8255)

Tweetables:

It’s not healthy for mothers and daughters to be best friends. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet To heal, uncover your belief systems and feel your feelings with compassion rather than with… Click To Tweet When we have trouble shifting it is because there is something old coming up that wants to be… Click To Tweet

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EP 140: Overcoming the Fear of Loss with Tom

EP140

This call is about is about stepping into the truth of who you are. Today’s caller, Tom, is juggling many things in his life and wants to know how to balance his relationship with his family with his obligations. But as in many of my coaching sessions, we focus on a core wound from his past that is having a big impact on all aspects of his life.

Don’t minimize the important moments in your life so much that you never process them. It can continue to impact you for the rest of your life. But don’t put too much emphasis on them so they become an excuse.

A lot of people use events from their past as an excuse for not getting what they want from life. Your past doesn’t need to determine your future. You don’t need to continue to tell the story that happened to you when you were a child. Acknowledge significant past events, heal them, re-frame them, and create new belief systems around them.

We have to move out of fear and back into love because if we are showing up more in fear than in love, it is impacting our relationships, our careers, and our health.

It’s important to listen to our fears, anxieties, and our worries because they are alarms alerting us that we have forgotten something really important. Instead of trying to silence these uncomfortable feelings use them as your personal alarm system.

I have one personal coaching spot available this year. If you would like me as your personal coach email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are there areas in your life that are not the way you want them to be?
  • Are you a sensitive person? Do you take things personally?
  • Are you a creative person? Do you express your creativity?
  • Do you suffer from anxiety?
  • Do you have a fear of loss?
  • Men, how do you feel about being a man? Do you feel connected to your masculine energy? 

Tom’s Question:

Tom would like to know how to improve his relationships with his family, get out of debt and prepare for a career shift.

Tom’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He has a lot of obligations.
  • He is passionate about music and his family.
  • He feels anxious and a fear of loss.
  • He lost an important friendship as a child.
  • He believes he is undeserving.
  • He made judgments about what it means for him to be a man.
  • He may be missing a connection to his masculinity.
  • He is searching for security and stability.
  • He keeps himself busy to distract him from his anxiety. 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • He should start tapping into his masculine energy.
  • He should put some serious intention into breaking out of loner tendencies and start doing work with the Mankind Project.
  • He may want to look into a martial arts program.
  • He should write a letter to his younger self and tell him he is deserving and enough.

Assignments For You:

  • If you deal with anxiety, look at it like an alarm system. What is it alerting you to?
  • If you have trouble with focus and direction try martial arts.
  • If you are a sensitive person, stop taking things so personally.
  • Find your tribe. Embrace who you are and know you are good enough.
  • Listen to my Coaches Corner episode with Lori Harder.

Sponsors:

Daily Harvest — delivers frozen, one-step prep, plant-based eats right to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups added to your first box.

Fabletics — offers premium activewear at a great value. They have the world’s best leggings. Fabletics delivers on performance and style. Use the link to take the style quiz and get two pairs of leggings for just $24! *VIP’s save 40-50% off retail and get extra perks.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine’s Movement and Alignment Blog Post

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Mankind Project

Tweetables:

Are you doing a lot but not achieving the results that match your efforts?… Click To Tweet Our belief system creates our reality. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Consider how your anxiety may be a helpful alarm system you need to pay attention to.… Click To Tweet

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EP 76: Getting Over a Painful Past with Jane

EP76v1This episode is about becoming getting over your past and becoming connected to your heart. Today’s caller, Jane is still impacted by a traumatic childhood. She would like to move past it and find someone to share her feelings with.

I acknowledge Jane for her courage and her vulnerability. Just calling in is a testament to how far she has come. It’s true that when we are ready, we are guided toward our resources and teachers to help us heal.

Jane said she felt anxious. For many people, anxiousness comes from having a chaotic childhood, not having structure, or having too much structure. If it’s true for you, don’t make yourself wrong, but also don’t use your past as an excuse to either be a rebel, or to feel like you can’t parent yourself or add structure to your life. You can.

Our hearts are an intuitive voice of wisdom, guidance and reassurance. In our logical, mind-based world it is often easier to think than to feel, but emotional processing and healing cannot be done in our heads. People tend to be able to process and release emotions through writing. If you have been repressing your emotions, or distracting or numbing yourself, try writing down your feelings to help you hear your heart.

Remember strength is not pushing through something. Strength is vulnerability. To truly live into our potential, we must connect to our hearts.

Special announcement — We hit 1 million downloads in February! I am so grateful to all of you, and to celebrate I am giving away a gift to 3 of you. The prize is one month in my Inner Circle membership community for free. You can win by sharing why you like #overitandonwithit on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.  Just post, tag me, and don’t forget to add the #overitandonwithit hashtag!

I recently spoke about the importance of connecting to our hearts at Aubrey Marcus’s Go For Your Win event. You can listen to what is probably my favorite interview of all time, Coaches Corner episode with Aubrey, if you are not familiar with him.

Would you like to connect deeply to your feminine power, and get clarity that leads to deep healing? At the end of September 2017, I am hosting a retreat in a place which has cracked open my heart. Enrollment is now open for my women’s only Spiritual and Self Love Retreat in Bali. Contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com to register.

If you want to actualize your dreams and have a heart-based online business, enroll in Marie Forleo’s  B-School. I am offering free mastermind day and other bonuses because I believe in the program so much.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past that is creating problems in your present? Are you frustrated, and believe you should be over it by now?
  • Do you deal with rushing around, running late, and feel like you are not meeting your deadlines?
  • Would you like to be able to feel and connect to listening to your heart?

Jane’s Question:

Jane would like to finally like to move past her traumatic childhood.

Jane’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She recognizes how strong she had to be, to get through her childhood.
  • She has a lot of anger and sadness.
  • She has felt alone for a large part of her life.
  • She appreciates her ability to keep trying.
  • She welcomes people in her life to share her feelings and to be honest with.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should practice more release writing.
  • She should get Expectation Hangover and perform the Temper Tantrum technique.
  • She should find a professional to help her process her feelings.
  • She should tell the universe she is ready for her guides to come forward.
  • She should find a place to volunteer with children.
  • She should say 3 loving things to herself about herself.

Assignments:

  • Practice release writing. I teach you how to do it in Expectation Hangover.
  • In your spiritual practice, pray for your spirits, guides, healers, or coaches to come forward in a physical human form.
  • If you are processing pain from your childhood, volunteer with children or animals to feel unconditional love.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Christine@christinehassler.com
Marie Forleo’s B-School

Tweetables:

The heart has the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the human body. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet.
Repression has been your survival skill. It is not how you will fly. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet If structure is hard for you, get an accountability partner. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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EP 20: How to Let Go of the Past

ep 20 v1v2If you were to write out your autobiography with the early chapters being on your past and the middle chapters representing the present, what would you change about your current story to get the ending (your future) to turn out just the way you want it to? Would you allow bitterness to leak into your later chapters or would you embrace forgiveness of yourself and those who may have hurt you?

It’s never too late to drop old belief systems and ‘un-program’ yourself. It’s never too late to change. Living as a victim means you do not want to take full responsibility for your life. Becoming the most authentic version of yourself will happen when you move through the process of forgiveness. It will set you free and allow you to live fully in the present.

Today’s caller, Miranda, needed her story to be heard free of judgment and from a place of compassion. She believed she needed to behave a certain way in order to receive love. Her compensatory strategy of being a caretaker, a rescuer, and a people pleaser was attracting toxic people into her life and not bringing her the love she desired.

People in your past can no longer be an excuse for why you don’t have what you want in your present.

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Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What are you still holding on to from your past that is impacting your present and creating your future?
  • How does Miranda’s story mirror your own?
  • When it comes to getting romantic love, what do you have to do or need to be in order to get it?
  • Is there someone you need to forgive?

Miranda’s Question:

Miranda is having trouble letting go of the past and finding forgiveness. She feels she has alienated everyone important in her life with her bitterness.

Miranda’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She should acknowledge her blessings
  • She is attracting toxic people because it’s the only type of love she knows
  • She has made massive judgments about her own choices
  • She tries to get love by being a victim
  • She doesn’t know how to forgive

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Update your own programming
  • She needs to forgive everyone in her life including herself
  • Find spiritual altitude
  • Start being nicer to herself
  • Work through the behavioral exercises in Expectation Hangover

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Identify your compensatory strategy and shift it
  • Understand the payoffs to the behaviors you don’t like
  • Who do you think you need to forgive?
  • Make a list of your gifts, of all the things you truly love about yourself and make that your new story
  • Know that your past does not need to dictate the present

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Expectation Hangover
@christinhassler
christine@christinehassler.com

Tweetables:

What is your story? Not the story of your past but the new story which is your future.
Do you know how to forgive? Walk through the process of forgiveness to set yourself free.
People in your past can no longer be an excuse for why you don’t have what you want in your present.

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