Tag Archives: personal growth

EP 126: How to Accept Your Body No Matter What Its Shape or Physical Condition with Aly

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This call is about self-acceptance and self-love. Today’s caller, Aly, wants to move into acceptance of an illness but she is attempting to do it with a lot of judgment about herself and not from a place of love.

It’s wonderful to be a seeker but it’s important to be mindful of coming from a place of wanting to learn and grow, not from the place of, there is something wrong with me and I need to fix it. If you are overdosing on personal growth from the perspective of ‘solving all your problems’ — you are not broken!

Self-love is a daily practice and sometimes even a moment-to-moment practice. Self-love is truly the process and practice of acceptance. We are human. We are not going to love everything about ourselves all the time. We are going to say and do things that we may want to take back. It’s OK. Self-love is about forgiving ourselves in the process.

Remember we always have another present moment to do better. The key to acceptance is taking responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors without beating yourself up. You are not broken!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you see yourself as a constant self-improvement project?
  • Do you approach self-love with an all-or-nothing attitude?
  • Are you hard on yourself — especially your body?
  • Is there something you are attempting to get rid of by sweeping it under the rug or hating it?

Aly’s Question:

Aly has spent many years trying to get rid of chronic disease and would like to know how to accept it and get unstuck.

Aly’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She feels she is not good enough.
  • She can’t seem to accept who she is.
  • She is afraid to be happy.
  • She uses her weight as a happiness meter.
  • She abuses herself and feels guilty about it.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to realize she is not broken.
  • She should get the anger out by writing letters to the guys who broke her heart.
  • She should write an apology letter to her body.
  • She should give her body a love bath every morning.
  • By realizing she is proud of herself.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Give yourself permission to write an F-U letter — write it and then destroy it.
  • Write an apology letter to your body using these sentence stems:
    • I’m sorry because…
    • I’m learning from you that…
    • I forgive myself for…
    • I forgive you, body, for…
  • Give yourself a body love bath.
  • Make self-honoring choices and make new agreements with yourself.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

The key to acceptance is taking responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors without beating… Click To Tweet

Do you approach your self-love and self-improvement goals thinking you need to fix yourself?… Click To Tweet

You are not broken. Stop relating to yourself as a constant self-improvement project.… Click To Tweet

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EP 115: Friendship Expiration Dates and Building Confidence with Claire

 

EP115v2This episode is about vanquishing self-criticism, letting things go that no longer serve you, and how to get what you want from life.

We are not always good friends to ourselves and it can be reflected back to us in our friendships — like it is today in my call with Claire. One of Claire’s friendships has just reached an expiration date and she is learning valuable lessons from it.

Other people can be mirrors for us and often, it takes someone else to wake us up. If a friend treats us bad enough it causes us to look inside ourselves to understand what it is showing us. It can show us the kind of friend we are being to ourselves.

Don’t stay in an unhealthy friendship or one that doesn’t serve either of you. We tend to hold on to friendships just a little longer because we don’t have to see the person as much. We justify putting up with it or we think we need to stay in the friendship because of the history. Or, we don’t have the guts to end it because we don’t want to upset somebody.

When we have a fierce inner critic it doesn’t compartmentalize. It doesn’t cheer us on in our career and then pick us apart physically. It is pervasive in all aspects of our lives. A fierce inner critic can impact our confidence. We can take something personally to our detriment or we can take it personally toward our growth.

To get what you want, you have to believe that what you want is out there. Your longing is your psychic knowing.

One of my favorite ways to empower people is teaching retreats. So, in March 2018 I am hosting my annual signature retreat. It is an intense 3-day, women-only spring event with only 20 spaces available. This is the last time I will lead the retreat as I am training others. For early-bird pricing or to find out more e-mail Jill@christinehassler.com or check out Spring Retreat.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you compartmentalizing your life? Are you stuck in one area that may be caused by an unresolved issue in another area of your life?
  • If you talked to or treated your friends like you do to yourself would you have any friends?
  • Is your confidence down? Do you find yourself on the receiving end of criticism from other people?
  • Do you have any friendships that have passed their expiration date and are no longer healthy for you to continue?

Claire’s Question:

Claire wants to get unstuck in her life after an emotional falling out with friends.

Claire’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She found a friend’s comments inappropriate.
  • She can be critical of herself and lack self-confidence.
  • Her friend is a mirror of how she treats herself.
  • Questioning herself has impacted her career momentum.
  • She goes through cycles of emotional sensitivity.
  • She doesn’t enjoy certain aspects of her job.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should leverage this experience to perpetuate her growth.
  • She should write down 50 things about herself she is grateful for.
  • She should write out a description of what she wants from her work.
  • She should collect evidence about why the job she wants does exist.

Takeaways:

  • Do a friendship inventory. Look at the friends in your life and ask yourself ‘Is this an aligned friendship? Has this friendship passed its expiration date and is it time to complete this relationship and move on?’
  • How can you be a better friend to yourself? Start being kind to yourself.
  • Write a detailed list of what you want. Get a picture in your mind and take action.
  • Make a list of 50 things you are grateful for.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Tweetables:

Don’t use self-criticism as a motivational tool.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet It’s hard to believe in our dreams when we internalize other people’s… Click To Tweet Coaches, drop your agenda. The best way to be an amazing coach is to listen and follow the line of energy that comes… Click To Tweet

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Give this gift to yourself

On Thursday I am opening the doors to my Inner Circle! This exclusive community is a way for you to receive consistent coaching, guidance and life tips from me. The number one reason I feel called to offer this program is because I see so many people take ten steps forward and then five steps back when it comes to personal growth.

I was the same way. I would do an awesome workshop or have an incredible session with my coach and feel AMAZING. And the epiphanies and changes I made would last for a while…sometimes even months.

But eventually I’d find myself backtracking, which was incredibly frustrating.

I finally stopped feeling like I was backtracking when I realized that change requires two main things: momentum and consistency.

Once I made a 100% commitment to always, yes ALWAYS, be working with a coach in some capacity AND be part of a community of like-minded people where I am held accountable…I stopped feeling like I was backtracking.

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Having confidence is not as hard as you think

Last week in my women’s coaching circle, one of the women was sharing about a work situation and expressed that she “needs to work on being more confident.” She believed that she would be more respected in her company if she communicated like the other employees who she perceives as being more confident.

Can you relate? Are there situations in your life where you wish you felt more confident?

We have all had moments of mild to extreme self-consciousness where the feeling of confidence seems about as far away as Jupiter. Those awkward moments or instances where we feel judged by others often make us believe that we need to “work on” becoming more confident.

How have you “worked on” being more confident? Perhaps by taking public speaking classes? Rehearsing things you want to say in front a mirror? Getting a coach? Buying a new outfit?

While all those things are wonderful forms of self-support, feeling more confident actually takes way less effort. I explain in more detail in my vlog below, but here is the bottom line: the only reason that you do not feel confident is because you are judging yourself. Period. Really.

The instant you stop judging yourself and looking for all of the ways you should be more, better, or different you will experience confidence. You do NOT feel confident because you are not accepting yourself fully for who you are.

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