Today’s episode is about being confident in your current relationship. During this coaching session with Nicole, she tells me she is in her first serious romantic relationship, and she is afraid she is going to sabotage it.
Nicole is to be acknowledged for her level of awareness and coachability during this call. It was fun to work with her to update her belief systems and to get her excited about learning how to be in a relationship. One thing we didn’t talk about was her possible “Upper Limits” issue. Nicole is getting more love and emotional availability than she ever has before, which is what she wants; she just doesn’t know what to do with it.
I wanted to empower Nicole to enjoy the relationship she’s in, because it’s important to know the difference between when it’s time to go back into our past and chip away at something, and when it’s time to get over it and on with our lives. So, we worked on Nicole’s belief systems, and I allowed her to adopt a beginner’s mind. She didn’t have a healthy model for being in a romantic relationship, so I recommended she learn about what a healthy romantic relationship is.
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- Is there something in your life you are afraid of losing?
- Do you feel new at something, and feel you should just know how to do it?
- Are you aware or think you have some limiting beliefs from your past that are negatively impacting your current situation?
Nicole would like to know why she feels triggered to leave romantic relationships.
Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She’s afraid of losing the things she cares about.
- She felt her parents were emotionally unavailable.
- She feels it’s better to be alone than to feel disconnected when she’s with someone.
- She gets panicked in the moment.
- She will try enjoying her relationship more.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should reprogram her brain with her new belief system.
- When she feels panicked she should place one hand on her heart and one on her belly, and ask, “What do I need, right now?”
- She should get books to help her learn about love and relationships.
- She should have patience, get excited, and have fun.
- Are you having an Upper Limits issue? Check out The Big Leap, by
Gay Hendricks and listen to my Upper Limits Coaches Corner. Make a list of all the reasons you deserve the good things that are happening to you.
- Update and reframe your belief systems. Go to Byron Katie’s The Work for free worksheets.
- Have a beginner’s mind.
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