This episode is about not feeling good enough. Today’s caller, Jen, knows it is not good to believe she is not good enough, but she feels her problem is insurmountable. The essence of who Jen is isn’t broken, it’s just a pattern she’s comfortable in.
Jen is experiencing a limiting belief. It shows up in a variety of ways, like her feeling not deserving, feeling broken, or not being lovable. It can lead to insecurity, people pleasing, body image issues, eating disorders, and accepting dysfunctional relationships. During the call, I allow Jen to go on for a while because I am waiting for her to ask for help.
For those of you who are being coached or in therapy — If you are more committed to keeping your story than to truly letting go of it, you are uncoachable.
We all get attached to our limiting beliefs, because they are familiar, comfortable, and often get us the attention we are seeking and the validation or sympathy for how hard life is.
There is merit to discussing our past, and healing memories. But, we must do it with vulnerability, compassion, and forgiveness so we can let it go, to get over it and on with what we want to create.
Awareness without action is merely psychological entertainment.
Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don’t know Aubrey go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is becoming masterful at love. Sign up for this incredible retreat.
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- Do you struggle with not feeling good enough? Do you doubt you are worthy or capable of having the things you truly want?
- When you get close to the things you want, do you often sabotage it or doubt you can keep it?
- Do you make your ‘enoughness’ conditional?
Jen wants to know how to move past her past traumas, and change her narrative.
Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is holding on to an old pattern because it’s comfortable.
- She believes her failed relationships and loss of friends is her fault.
- She withdraws and isolates herself.
- She gets her value from external validation.
- She is not seeing her life accurately.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to commit to shifting and interrupting her ingrained patterns.
- She can stop her thoughts of not being good enough, and create a new neural net.
- She should take a lesson from the children she works with.
- She should get a photo of her younger self and talk to it.
- She should create of voice memo of positive sayings to herself.
- How attached are you to your story? Stop telling your sob story.
- Practice release writing to release emotions.
- Stop your thoughts and redirect them with the help of the ‘Whoaing’ technique in Expectation Hangover.
- Get a picture of your little one and use it as a way to generate love and self-acceptance.
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You can psychoanalyze yourself to death, but it doesn’t mean you are changing.… Click To Tweet
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Jennifer is a therapist who is feeling physically depleted after working with clients. Christine gives her best tips for protecting her energy and serving people in a way that is energizing, not depleting.
James is 54 years old and has worked at the same office job for three decades. He is interested in shifting to becoming self-employed but is disappointed he has not been able to get his new career off the ground.
Listen in as Christine addresses both these topics.
Love: Practice Makes the Master! Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for an empowering and transformational retreat in Austin.
EP 83: Letting Go of Parental “Mistakes” with Cathy.
Make sure to listen to this episode to hear Christine talk about the difference between sympathy and compassion.h
This week on the podcast, I coached on a topic I have never coached on air before: breaking the cycle of unconscious parenting.
My caller, Cathy, shares about the struggles she has as a mother. She has observed insecurity and aggressive behavior in her daughter and she owns that her parenting may be creating it. Cathy has noticed herself getting very impatient and sometimes using corporal punishment on her daughter. Even though she knows this may not be the “best” way to parent, it is all she knows. She grew up rather neglected and corporal punishment was used on her.
Thanks to Cathy’s courageous honesty and willingness to take responsibility for her behavior, we were able to make some tremendous progress in this call.
I’ve said many times, parenting does not come with an instruction manual.
Often, we play out behaviors we learned from our parents. It requires a conscious awareness to know what behaviors we want to leave in the past, and which we pass on to our children.
We need to have deep compassion for our parents and then forgive them, to stop repeating generational patterns. Stopping the cycle entails awareness, healing of our past hurts, and then the re-parenting of ourselves to become the loving parent we never had.
Of course this process takes some time and can be intense because it requires us to go back and do some healing of things we may not fondly remember.
Any form of abuse or hurtful, critical treatment of another continues because the victim never heals. The victim either becomes the abuser or internalizes the abuse. Often, people do not share about past abuse, because there is so much shame. This is not just true for abuse, it is the same for any generational pattern.
I encourage you to listen to this episode with compassion and consider what cycles you are committed to breaking.
p.s. Many of you have been asking me to facilitate a retreat for women and MEN! Well it’s finally happening. My soul brother Aubrey Marcus and I will be leading a three day retreat in Austin called: Love, Practice Makes the Master. We will be exploring your relationship with yourself, your romantic relations and your connection with Higher Power and purpose. Don’t miss this!! Go here to register.