Tag Archives: podcasts

EP 114: Turning OFF On-and-Off Again Relationships with Arelle

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This episode is about understanding the basis of relationships that feel like an addiction. Today’s caller, Arelle, has some unresolved daddy issues which keep her latched on to a much older man.

When we have a strong co-dependent relationship and it feels like an addiction or a drug it generally comes from a childhood wound. It is important, developmentally and psychologically, to have a healthy relationship with our parents. If we don’t have a healthy relationship with our parents, and as adults we don’t resolve our issues through inner work, therapy, coaching or spiritual practices, we go looking for what we didn’t get from our parents from the people we date. Often, it is our younger self who picks our relationships. Our survival instinct tells us that if our parents are not there for us we will die. This is why codependent relationships can feel like a death when we try to separate from them, it is because it is triggering the child in us to feel like they may not survive.

Arelle’s relationship issue was more about her father than it was about her guy. Arelle may not have fully grieved the relationship she didn’t have with her father. She never received the validation and attention she wanted from her father so she is playing out the scenario with her guy.

If you relate to this on-again-off-again relationship, you have to choose to stop your relationship. Accept that it is not good for you and get out. A codependent, abusive, toxic relationship is not safe and it’s not what you want.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a relationship that some part of you knows is not good for you but you can’t seem to permanently break it off?
  • Are you going through withdrawal because you recently ended a relationship and are tempted to rekindle it?
  • Did you lose a parent at a young age from death, divorce, or abandonment?
  • Do you find yourself looking for safety and security in someone else and identify with being a bit dependent or are do you provide that to someone else?

Arelle’s Question:

Arelle would like to end her codependent relationship but can’t seem to stop going back to him.

Arelle’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her father passed when she was young.
  • There is a significant age difference between her and the guy.
  • She has difficulty feeling safe.
  • She may have not completely dealt with her father’s death.
  • She has an eating disorder.
  • She has left her addiction six times.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should find a counselor who is able to connect her past relationships with her present relationships.
  • She should consider going cold turkey and not see or speak with her guy again.
  • She should research codependency support groups and see if there is one in her area.
  • She needs to be a grown up and set herself up for success.

Takeaways:

  • Take off your rose-colored glasses. Make a list of the things that are true about your relationship and what you fantasize it to be.
  • Find a counselor or coach who will help you connect the dots. There is no shame in going to counseling.
  • If you are in an on-again-off-again relationship, turn it off. Do something that is good for you and end it for good. 

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

 Tweetables:

When a person dies, we grieve their death and we also grieve what we never received from them… Click To Tweet A codependent, abusive, toxic relationship is not safe and it’s not what you really want for… Click To Tweet Work on your trust issues before you get into a relationship with another… Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: The difference between triggers and preferences and it’s 11/11

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It’s 11/11 – do you know the significance of that number? Listen to find out!

In this Coaches Corner Christine also teaches the difference between a trigger or issue based choice and a preference.  She empowers you to honor who you are and what you like and let go of FOMO.

She then shares some great take-away’s from top speakers like Brene Brown, Jane Fonda, Shonda Rhimes and Marianne Williamson that she just heard speak at a big event.

Christine reveals one of her preferences when it comes to massive crowds and events that may help you feel more like yourself the next time you are in a social situation.

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EP 112: Feeling Lighter (Both Physically and Emotionally) with Lindsay

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This episode is about acknowledging successes and how releasing emotional weight can help release physical weight. Today’s caller, Lindsay, is continuing on her course to personal mastery but she feels stuck when it comes to her health and wellness.

If you are wondering why is it so hard to implement personal growth efforts, it’s because neural pathways are created over time, especially when you have been doing things the same way for years. Simply being aware of something doesn’t create change. Growth is a process, not an event.

And growth is part of being human. There is always more growing to do and with the right tools the easier it becomes. We have to stop approaching growth as a fix-it, self-improvement, ‘something is wrong with me’ project. It’s important to celebrate how much growth you have experienced and how far you’ve come towards personal mastery.

If you need emotional release, do the Temper Tantrum exercise in Expectation Hangover. As you work through the emotional residue you will need less and less of the emotional release work but It takes more than one time to deal with suppressed emotions.

Practice is the key to transformation.


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Lindsay’s Question:

Lindsay has been successful in shifting many parts of her life but is still struggling with health and weight issues.

Lindsay’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has shifted her relationship with herself.
  • She is on a strict food diet.
  • She has taken my Personal Mastery course.
  • She has an emotional relationship with junk food.
  • Her parent’s divorce may still be affecting her.
  • She feels not worthy.
  • She is going to get off the diet treadmill and get healthy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should find a holistic nutritionist and learn what her body needs.
  • She should write an apology and a thank you letter to her body.
  • She should choose to be worthy.

Takeaways:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

“What Are You Truly Craving? with Alexandra Jamieson”

“Shift Your Health and Your Mindset with JJ Virgin”

“Optimize Your Health with Mark Sisson”

“What Your Body is Telling You Podcast with Tiffany”

“Possible Side Effects of Maltodextrin and Sucralose,” by Jessica Bruso

Tweetables:

Many people who carry extra weight are hiding from some form of abuse and desire to be… Click To Tweet

Everyone has emotional baggage. It just shows up differently in different… Click To Tweet

The things we didn't get from our parents tend to be the things we are missing developmentally as… Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: Tips for Decision Making

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In this episode of Coach’s Corner Christine give you some tips on how to make a decision.  So many of us hang out in limbo WAY too long when it comes to making a choice – and limbo is hell.  Listen in for some advice on how to make a self-honoring choice and get two really powerful exercises you can do to get clarity about a current decision that you may be struggling with.

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