Tag Archives: Relationship

EP 108: Trusting Your Intuition in Love & Relationships with Sandra

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This episode is about listening to your intuition and getting clear about what you want from a relationship. Today’s caller, Sandra, realizes she may want to continue her current relationship due to familiarity or comfort and not because it is truly what she wants from a relationship.

Be mindful of what you are scared of and what you are making your number one fear. Sandra’s fear of losing herself should have been the fear she is paying attention to.

What legitimate fears should you pay more attention to? For example, the fear of losing someone you may be doubting the relationship with or the fear of spending additional years in an unsatisfying relationship? The fear of leaving your job and having less money for a while and dealing with uncertainty or the fear of spending the rest of your life in a career you hate?

Fear can serve us in some way. It can light a fire in us to make necessary changes and when we take action we don’t need the fear. But if you are tapped into the wrong fear you start doubting yourself.

Sandra’s soul wants to know who she is, independent of who she is in a relationship. Will she make the choice that serves the highest good?

If you want to learn to bring your unconscious to your conscious mind so you can remove obstacles from your life join me for my free No Regrets Master Class. Awareness is only the first step. You need a strategy to turn your struggles into your superpowers. During the class, I will share the Iceberg Principle to show you how to do it. Sign up and join me on October 11, 2018. Let me help you live your life with no regrets.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something in your life you are uncertain about?
  • Do you feel guilty about something you have done in a relationship?
  • Would you love for someone you are in a relationship with to change?
  • Are you struggling with a decision but deep down you know what to do?

Sandra’s Question:

Sandra would like some clarity around her current relationship.

Sandra’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s afraid of losing herself in her relationship.
  • She hasn’t had any time alone in her adult life.
  • She’s not sure the relationship is healthy.
  • She felt responsible for fixing the relationship.
  • She may be asking for permission to make a decision.
  • She may be playing her father’s role in an effort to get closer to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take three months to do some soul-searching.
  • She should write down the reality of what the relationship was.
  • She should make some self-honoring choices.

Takeaways:

  • Get clear on which fear you need to be paying attention to.
  • Look at the parent you are most like or becoming.
  • Where do you need some space in your life?
  • Use prayer or meditation to find out what is the highest good for all involved.
  • Join my No Regrets master class.

Sponsor:

True Car Are you looking for a new car? True Car will show you the real price of a new car to help you feel confident you are paying the ‘true’ price when buying a car. It makes buying a car a quick and easy buying experience.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

2018 Bali Retreat Wait List — Email Jill

No Regrets Master Class

Tweetables:

Join my No Regrets master class and learn to live your life with no… Click To Tweet

We never truly lose ourselves in a relationship, we just become more focused on another… Click To Tweet

Being honest is the most self-honoring and loving thing we can do.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet.

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100% Responsibility = 100% Freedom

Take 100% responsibility for your life.  That sounds quite empowering doesn’t it?  But it also may sound rather challenging especially if you feel like you have been wronged or dealt a crappy hand of cards lately.

But the ONLY way to feel truly free in our life is to take 100% responsibility for our life.  That does not mean we have to like everything that is happening. It does mean we accept what happens and stop fighting with reality.

When we are going through any kind of expectation hangover, especially the ending of a relationship, there is often a tendency to blame the other or feel like a victim in some way. This is even more likely if we feel the other person betrayed us or wronged us in some way. 

But if we REALLY want to heal and be free after something ends, we MUST get out of blaming (others AND ourselves) or feeling like a victim. The only way we get free is if we not only forgive, but also look at what we have learned from the situation so that we do not re-create the same kind of expectation hangover in the future. 

This is exactly what I coach Mary on in episode 105 of my podcast. She is having a really challenging time letting go of an ex – she is obsessing over his new relationship and just can’t seem to get over it even in therapy. She has a powerful shift on this call and I hope you do as well from listening.

Go here to listen to episode 105 

Something my coach, Brandy, says to me often is, “Take 100% responsibility for your 50%.”  I will admit that is challenging sometimes and requires a level of accountability WITHOUT self-criticism.  I have had to learn how to take responsibility for what has happened – or hasn’t happened – in my life without regretting things or beating myself up . . . and I encourage you to do the same! 

We cannot change the past but we can learn from it and create a different present and future. (Tweet this!!)

And that is exactly what Mary, who I coach in episode 105, has the opportunity to do. 

Also be sure not to miss episode 104 where I coach Jobe.  He cannot seem to get over his ex and we discover a very surprising reason why he can’t seem to let go which has to do with his integrity. I coach him into taking a very powerful action that supports him in taking 100% responsibility. 

Go here to listen to episode 104 

I so appreciate you listening to the podcast. If you enjoy the show, please share about it and leave a rating and review. It is super easy to do and helps the show a lot.

Here’s how:

1. Go to www.christinehassler.com/itunes.
2. Click View in itunes
3. Go to Ratings and Reviews tab
4. Click Write a Review

Have a beautiful day and, remember, take 100% responsibility for your life!!

Love,

Christine

EP 105: How to Take Responsibility for Why Your Relationship Ended and Move On with Mary

EP105v1This episode is about taking responsibility for the part you play in relationships and realizing you did nothing wrong. Today’s caller, Mary, is having a challenging time letting go of an ex. She is obsessing over his new relationship and can’t seem to get over it, even in therapy. During the call, Mary makes a major shift.

It is hard to get over it and on with it when we are not honest with ourselves. I felt it was important to empower Mary with the ability to take responsibility for how she showed up in her relationships. It’s important to look at how we are showing up and what it is creating.

Mary is critical of herself and hard on herself for the choices she makes. Her unprocessed anger, sadness, and lack of fulfillment in her own life were leaking out onto her partner. She wasn’t being her best self to herself.

The more unsettled and unhappy we are in our own life the more we tend to be irritable, snappy, impatient, or mean — often to the people we love the most. I recently wrote a blog, “#1 Tool to Avoiding Conflict in any Relationship” to address this.

As women, It is important for us to know when we are in our masculine and how it throws off the polarity in a relationship.  Mary was in her masculine when she created conflicts. I highly recommend the work of Alison Armstrong and David Deida can be useful resources for understanding how polarity works in any type of relationship.

Also, Mary was so focused on her ex she used his new relationship as a distraction from learning the lesson of the relationship. When we obsess about others we avoid looking at ourselves. We can not fixate or attempt to understand someone else without understanding ourselves first. Even if we weren’t 100% our best selves, we need to bring the focus back to ourselves and look for the lessons.

What is your Expectation Hangover teaching you?

I will be in Indonesia, Bali, and Malaysia at the end of September. I have Coaching sessions available for those time zones. If you are interested in being put on the waitlist to be on the air with me, email Assist@ChristineHassler.com and make the subject ‘Alt time zone coaching session’.

Are you frustrated and worried about your finances? Do you feel like you have enough money to live the life you deserve? Brittney Castro of Financially Wise Women can help you to feel mature with your money and eliminate fear around your finances with her free money training class. Watching it will help you bust through the three things that are holding you back from getting your finances under control.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past you are having a hard time letting go of?
  • Are you obsessing about a person or situation so much that it is taking up a lot of your mental energy and preventing you from being able to move forward?
  • Can you admit you haven’t always shown up as your best self in a relationship or situation?
  • Are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your life?

Mary’s Question:

Mary would like to know how to accept her breakup and get over her ex.

Mary’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been seeing a therapist about the issue.
  • She has been cheated on in her past relationships.
  • Her father was emotionally unavailable.
  • She would pick fights with her ex.
  • Fixating on her ex is distracting her from learning a lesson.
  • She may believe the relationship ending is her fault.
  • She doesn’t want to have to take action to get him back.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take responsibility for 100% of her 50% of the breakup and realize she didn’t do anything wrong.
  • She should take three months to focus on herself and have no contact with her ex.
  • She should envision what moving forward looks like.

Takeaways:

  • How can you really take responsibility, even when you want to feel like a victim, and own your end of something that didn’t turn out like you planned?
  • Forgive yourself. We all learn the same way. Beating yourself up will not help you learn, grow, or heal any faster.
  • Is there someone in your life you need a break from?
  • Always look for the lessons. Any Expectation Hangover or any hardship is bringing you an opportunity to heal. Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me,” ask “Why is this happening FOR me?”

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover

“Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course”

The PodcastOne Survey

Christy Whitman Coaches Corner

Alison Armstrong

David Deida

Tweetables:

You cannot change the past but you can learn from it. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

We perpetuate suffering because we don’t recognize the lesson. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Sometimes we pay more attention to an external partner than we pay attention to the kind of… Click To Tweet

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EP 102: How to Know if it’s Time to Leave a Relationship with Renae

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This episode is about making self-serving decisions. Today’s caller, Renae, is married, and questioning whether or not her marriage has reached its expiration date. As you can hear in the call, Renea intuitively knows what she should do but she needs to be empowered so she can take action.

Do all relationships where one person is on the growth path, and the other person isn’t, have an expiration date? Not necessarily. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to know when it’s time to leave a relationship. When there is abuse, addiction, or toxic behavior, or the other person is unwilling to invest in the relationship, you have to be honest about why you are still in this type of relationship, and whether it is really serving your highest good.

When it is time to evaluate a relationship, or when it’s time to end it, be honest with yourself and listen to your intuition. You may already know the answer. When we seek counsel with others, we want to hear from someone else what we may already know. Sometimes we are looking for someone to give us permission.

If you are a parent who feels they may have messed up their kids, your fear is not helping you or them. What does help is to help them learn how to make self-honoring decisions. You should start equipping them with the personal development tools and mindset to help them break generational patterns, and to not personalize the situation. Children shouldn’t feel that anything was their fault.

And, actions speak louder than words. We must give someone the dignity of the process but honor our own boundaries. Don’t be a victim. Consider Al-Anon, and find other people you can connect to. Don’t bond over wounds, but find other people who understand your background. It will help empower you.

If you are looking for support, encouragement and love, my Personal Mastery Course,
Over It and On With It  is the most comprehensive virtual coaching program I have. You receive 6-weeks of personalized coaching with me, guided meditations, videos, and I engage with you on Facebook Lives and in group coaching calls. This course is starting in October, and it’s only offered once per year.


Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you questioning your current relationship? Are you in, or did you grow up in, an abusive environment?
  • Do you know what to do, but wish someone would give you permission to do it? Have you been attempting to change someone else, but realize the most important person to focus on right now is yourself?

Renae’s Question:

Renae wants to know if she should stay in her current long-term relationship.

Renae’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She grew up in an environment of physical and verbal abuse.
  • Her husband is verbally abusive to her and her children.
  • She doesn’t focus on herself.
  • Her 15-year-old daughter wants her to get a divorce.
  • She’s afraid to make the wrong decision.
  • She recognizes she needs to change her life and to give her kids a different environment.
  • She’s known what to do, but needed validation to move forward.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to make a decision to break patterns and to change things.
  • She needs to start documenting abuse.
  • She needs to stop beating herself up, and practice self-love and self-care.
  • She needs to believe in herself, and give herself positive encouragement.

Takeaways:

  • If you are questioning your relationship, ask yourself, “What is this relationship teaching me? What patterns do I need to complete? Could it be time to go? What do I need to do to make a shift?
  • If you are a parent, and feel that your children have seen things in your life or marriage that have been tough and they are struggling, get them help! You can’t be their therapist, counselor, or coach. They may need an objective person they can talk to, and to give them new tools.
  • My Inner Circle community can be a great place to find the love and support from people who know what you are feeling.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get three free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course

Tweetables:

Make decisions for yourself that are the most honoring, loving, and based in… Click To Tweet

When we live with people who are abusive or addicts, we tend to have a low… Click To Tweet

Don’t take action from a place of guilt or fear, take action from a place of self-love or… Click To Tweet

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