Tag Archives: Relationships

So much good stuff for your ears!!

This time of year seems to be busy for so many of us. It also can be triggering for many of us and I have some videos coming out for you in the next month around dealing with loneliness, stress and family dynamics during the holiday season. Stay tuned for that.

Today I want to update you on what’s been happening on the Over It and On With It podcast where I coach people live on the air.  We have had some amazing episodes lately.

In episode 114, I coach Arelle on turning off an ‘on again and off again’ relationship.  This call is about understanding the basis of relationships that feel like an addiction. When we have a relationship that feels like an addiction or a drug it generally comes from a childhood wound. It is important, developmentally and psychologically, to have a healthy relationship with our parents. If we don’t have a healthy relationship with our parents, and as adults we don’t resolve our issues through inner work, therapy, coaching or spiritual practices, we go looking for what we didn’t get from our parents from the people we date. Often, it is our younger self who picks our relationships . . . and that does not turn out so well!

Go here to listen to episode 114

Episode 115 is about expiration dates in friendship. We are not always good friends to ourselves and it can be reflected back to us in our friendships — like it is in my call with Claire. One of Claire’s friendships has just reached an expiration date and she is learning valuable lessons from it. Other people can be mirrors for us and often, it takes someone else to wake us up. If a friend treats us badly enough it causes us to look inside ourselves to understand what it is showing us. It can show us the kind of friend we are being to ourselves.

Go here to listen to episode 115

And don’t miss episode 116, where I coach Shanna on breaking out of a self-imposed prison cell and taking a conscious action which will lead to change. Shanna needs to squelch her limiting beliefs and embrace her strengths and her power. She has been punishing herself. Shame does that to us. When we feel ashamed about something we overcompensate and that becomes our punishment. Anytime we are in overcompensation mode and do not allow ourselves to live the life we really want, we keep ourselves in a self-imposed prison.

Go here to listen to episode 116

What I love most about this podcast is that in listening to these live sessions, you will realize that you are not alone. We ALL go through challenging things and have obstacles to overcome. It is my honor and great JOY to hold a space for this kind of deep work.

If you would like to be coached on the podcast, email assist@christinehassler.com and we will get you on the waitlist.

And if you are a fan of the podcast, please go to www.christinehassler.com/itunes and leave a rating and review and/or share about the show on your social media platforms. Thank you for your support

Sending you a big dose of love and light,

Christine

Coaches Corner: America’s #1 Transformation Coach Drew Canole

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You’ll LOVE this conversation. Drew came over to my house and we had an incredible chat that covered a lot of ground: healing our past, forgiveness, relationships, health and weight release, detox, and SO much more.

Fueled by small-town values and a big vision for a better planet, Drew Canole begins each day with one simple goal in mind – to positively impact the lives of others. Through his work as a Personal Coach and endeavors such as EnrichYourExistence.com and FitLife.tv, Drew aims to inspire and motivate others to search deep within themselves to create an abundant, healthy and fulfilling life. “Improve one life; improve the world.”

Drew was born and raised in the small, rural community of Lake City in Northern Michigan. After attending Central Michigan University, he launched a successful career in finance before recognizing that his greatest talent was helping others discover their untapped potential. He currently resides in San Diego, where his work as an author, fitness specialist and transformation expert has made him one of the most reputable Personal Coaches in Southern California.

Drew is committed to the conviction that people are at their best when challenged. He pushes others to bust through personal barriers and reach new heights in physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

http://fitlife.tv/

https://www.organifishop.com coupon code CHRISTINE to get 20% off.


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Episode 104: Getting Closure with an Ex with Jobe

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This episode is about a romantic relationship, specifically the end of a romantic relationship. Today’s caller, Jobe, can’t seem to get over his ex-girlfriend. My coaching went in a direction that surprised us both as it seemed Jobe needed closure in more than one relationship.

There were three main areas I coached Jobe in so he could move on.

One, Jobe had a lack of self-love. He sourced his love from his ex. It’s hard to get over someone when they are our source of love — because we need love. We go through withdrawal because love can be an addiction.

The second thing that makes it hard to move on is wearing rose-colored glasses when looking at the relationship in the rear view mirror. Jobe’s relationship was an issue-based relationship. There was a lot of chemistry but it wasn’t healthy.

And, I sensed a lack of forgiveness in Jobe. We move on when we forgive.  Forgiving isn’t condoning a behavior, forgiving is about letting go of judgment, resentment, regret, and anger, so you can be free.

We have a hard time moving on from a relationship when there is a lingering issue that needs completion. Often our consciousness doesn’t let something go when we need to go back and clean something up.

On October 11th, I will be teaching a free master class to share information about my Personal Mastery Course, Over It and On With It. Sign up to receive early bird notifications and discounts. There are even special bonuses for those who sign up early.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you having a hard time getting over an ex? Do you still need closure?
  • Are you in a relationship that is passionate, but also volatile?
  • Are you in a romantic relationship with someone who has a child?
  • Do you source love from other people?

Jobe’s Question:

Jobe would like to know how to get over his ex for once and for all.

Jobe’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • He is struggling to get his ex out of his head.
  • He relied on his ex as a source of love.
  • The relationship had many ups and downs.
  • He had a good relationship with his ex’s child.
  • He has been selfish since the breakup.
  • It’s time for him to figure out who he is.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • It’s important for him to express his feelings to the child involved.
  • He should reassure the child to help her gain closure.
  • He needs to generate a source of love from within himself.

Takeaways:

  • If you are getting over an ex, you need to cut the cord and focus on yourself. Be the best partner you can to yourself.
  • If you are seeking closure with someone, think about where you need to forgive, let go, and where you might be out of integrity. Is there something you need to clean up to be complete?
  • Make new agreements of how you want to show up in a relationship. Write vows or commitments to yourself about the kind of partner you want to be and honor those agreements.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

“Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course”

The Art of Charm Podcast, with Jordan Harbinger

Facing Love Addiction, by Pia Mellody

Tweetables:

Love is a verb, not just an emotion. We can not expect to only feel love, we must be love.… Click To Tweet

Look at what is the highest good for everyone in a situation, not just your own self-interest.… Click To Tweet

It’s pointless to feel bad or guilty. It doesn’t inspire action, and it keeps you in victim… Click To Tweet

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My #1 tool for avoiding conflict in any relationship

The more time with spend with a person and the more we care about them, the closer we get.  Our romantic partners, family members, closest friends, and business colleagues are the people we cherish.

And . . .

They are often also the people who know our buttons and we know theirs. They get the best of us…and the not-so-best of us. We love them and they drive us crazy sometimes. I think we can all admit that sometimes the people we love the most are also the people we get the most irritable with, or judgmental of, or hurt by.  This leads to arguments, passive aggressive behavior and eventually resentment. 

None of us want that in our closest and most important relationships so how do we avoid it? Is the answer always being on our “best” behavior? Sure that is a lovely intention but we are all human and we have our moments that can lead to hurt feelings, fights, and even resentment.  That is why I LOVE this simple tool that I share with you in today’s video.

Be sure to watch the video as I explain this tool in greater detail, but here is the overview: When you are NOT in an argument or triggered, have a talk with someone you are in significant relationship with, where you come up with a code word to alert each other when either of you is engaging in hurtful behavior.

For example, let’s say it really bothers you when your husband checks his phone when you are talking because it makes you feel like he is not listening. Choose a word like “monkey” (funny words work well) that you can say next time he does it to alert him to his behavior without having to get in an argument about it. 

Code words are a two way street so playing off the example above, if you have one to call your husband out on, you have got to acknowledge you probably do something that really irks him as well. Let’s say he really gets annoyed when you nag him. His code word could be “banana” and that is your cue to stop nagging.

This tool is highly effective if both people agree to use it and respond when they hear the code word. So many arguments and hurt feelings can be avoided by using code words. Plus they are handy to use in public situations as well!

The people we love most deserve the best of us. Do not reserve your best behavior for acquaintances or people you are seeking to impress. (Tweet this!)

I’m excited to hear how this tool could work for you and what tools you currently use to improve communication and connection in your relationships.  Please leave comments below.

Love,

Christine

p.s.  It’s been an awesome week on the podcast.  In Coaches Corner I chatted with Mark Sisson who is one of the top leaders in health on the show to talk about how to optimize your diet, exercise, sleep and vitality.  Go here to listen.

In this week’s coaching episode, I helped Jobe get over his ex-girlfriend and get to the root of why closure was so hard for him.  Go here to listen to episode 104