Tag Archives: Relationships

144: When Your Past is Haunting Your Present with Rachel

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This call is about creating your future instead of reliving your past. Today’s caller, Rachel, has a deep fear of loss. When her husband cheated on her, she felt as though she forgave him but she is having trouble getting over it and on with the life she wants.

Usually when there is cheating the person who has been cheated on blames themselves or wonders what they did wrong. Anyone who has been cheated on has done nothing wrong. Choose to let go, accept that it happened, let it go, heal the past and create the future you desire.

Anything you are thinking about SO much that you feel a payoff just from thinking about it, I encourage you to get the payoff in a different, more supportive way. Instead, think about a goal or experience that lights you up. Choose to let it go so you can enjoy the present and create your future rather than reliving your past.

For example, If you keep thinking about a mistake you made instead of beating yourself up over and over again, think about how you will apply the lessons you learned to a future event.

Not allowing ourselves to go backward requires conscious discipline. We cannot just feel our feelings and forget about it. We have to be committed to shifting our thoughts.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past you feel have forgiven and gotten over but you continue to think about it?
  • Are there things from your past you haven’t dealt with so they haunt your present?
  • Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?
  • Have people in your life died or abandoned you in some way that you fear loss so much it impacts your ability to open your heart to love?

Rachel’s Question:

Rachel wants to get over the pain of adultery and on with her relationship.

Rachel’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • Her husband cheated.
  • She hasn’t forgiven herself.
  • She sweeps things under the rug.
  • She lost many people in her life.
  • She’s comfortable being sad and scared.
  • She had a codependent relationship with her mother.
  • She lacks a sense of self.
  • She was in denial about her mother’s death.
  • She projects her issues on to her girls.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to work with a professional or coach to work through her issues.
  • She should attend my Signature Retreat in the Spring of 2019.
  • She should read Expectation Hangover.
  • She needs to love and forgive herself.

Assignments For You:

  • If there is something you are stuck on write in your journal using the sentence starter ‘This reminds me of…’ and ‘I’ve felt like this before’ to see what memories come up.
  • If you have a lot of emotion coming up that you are having a hard time managing get some help. Don’t let money be the reason you don’t get help.
  • If you are feeling triggered or can’t get over something, Expectation Hangover is the holistic way to get over any type of disappointment.
  • If you are in the sadness or victim zone, bring more fun and pleasure into your life.

Sponsors:

Daily Harvest — delivers frozen, one-step prep, plant-based eats, and refreshing drinks right to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups added to your first box.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Expectation Hangover

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Christine’s Books

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Suicide Prevention Lifeline — 800-273-TALK (8255)

Tweetables:

It’s not healthy for mothers and daughters to be best friends. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet To heal, uncover your belief systems and feel your feelings with compassion rather than with… Click To Tweet When we have trouble shifting it is because there is something old coming up that wants to be… Click To Tweet

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Coaches Corner: The power of relationships with Jordan Harbinger

 

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Listen in as Christine talks to her friend and fellow podcast host, Jordan Harbinger, about overcoming career expectation hangovers and the power of your network. Jordan shares his system on how to build and nurture the kind of relationships that are key to your success.c

Jordan is referred to as “The Larry King of podcasting,” is a Wall Street lawyer turned talk show host, social dynamics expert, and entrepreneur. After hosting a top 50 iTunes podcast for over a decade, that enjoyed nearly four million downloads a month at its zenith, Jordan has embarked on a new adventure: The Jordan Harbinger Show, where he deconstructs the playbooks of the most successful people on earth and shares their strategies, perspectives, and insights with the rest of us.

Jordan’s business sense, extensive knowledge of the industry, and contemporary approach to teaching make him one of the best and most sought-after coaches in the world.
Jordan Harbinger has always had an affinity for social influence, interpersonal dynamics, and social engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive.

Jordan spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East, and he speaks five languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war zones, and has been kidnapped — twice. He’ll tell you the only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of) just about any type of situation.

Listen to Jordan’s podcast here: https://www.jordanharbinger.com/podcast/

 

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Coaches Corner: Find your tribe (and your bliss!) with Lori Harder

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The benefits of a having a tribe are undeniable. Those with strong social circles are living longer, happier, and healthier lives compared to those who lack connections. But how do we find and maintain those circles? That’s what my dear friend Lori Harder and I dive into in this episode. Listen in as we talk about easing old wounds from painful friendships, becoming a better friend to ourselves and creating soul enriching friendships. 

Get your copy of Lori’s new book “A Tribe Called Bliss” here: https://www.loriharder.com/tribe-called-bliss/

Be the first to get a FREE copy here: LoriHarder.com/FREEBOOK Promo Code: Over It

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Coaches Corner: Bring your WHOLE self to work with Mike Robbins

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Are you ready to unlock more creativity, build stronger relationships, and improve your performance at work? My friend, Mike Robbins, has spent 17+ years helping people, leaders, and teams enhance their results and thrive in today’s complex business world.

In this episode we discuss his latest book, BRING YOUR WHOLE SELF TO WORK, to  help you expand your emotional intelligence, deepen your growth mindset, and bring more authenticity to the way you communicate, lead and work.

It’s available now and when you order it today, Mike will send you some great bonus gifts as a thank you.

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