In this episode of Coaches Corner Christine teaches you how to truly let go of what you want. She explains why to get what you want, you have to not want it. Learn how attachment to result happens and why it actually sabotages what we truly desire.Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google
This episode is about finding the true sweetness in life. Today’s caller, Marina, feels like she is stuck, especially when it comes to resisting sugar and taking care of her body. As you will hear in the call, It’s not actually sugar she is craving.
We don’t overcome our eating patterns with discipline alone. There is no one diet or one book that fixes it. Usually, there is a deeper issue at play that goes back to our childhood.
When it comes to dealing with any kind of food addiction or self-sabotaging behavior when it comes to food or exercise it is important we get to the root of the issue and get support to start building new healthy habits.
Most people try to change themselves because they want to get away from something. It may get them to a certain point but it is depleting because it employs criticism and restriction. This ‘moving away from’ motivation triggers your inner rebel which is why it usually doesn’t work.
Having ‘toward’ motivation is becoming a disciple and having a loving following of the thing you are moving toward, like your health and well being.
I find, people who crave sugar didn’t have a lot of sweetness or nurturing growing up. They internalize an overly critical or controlling parent or they use self-criticism as a motivator. Sweetness and nurturing is something we humans need. If you weren’t soothed as a child food can become a soothing strategy. Give yourself the sweetness and nurturing you may not have gotten growing up.
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- Do you feel stuck or like you are sabotaging yourself in some area of your life?
- Do you have a sugar or food addiction?
- Are you hard on yourself especially when judging yourself as lazy or lacking self-discipline?
- Did you grow up with a lot of sweetness and nurturing in your life?
Marina feels limited in her ability to be happy and that she lacks discipline.
Marina’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She has created self-supportive habits for herself.
- She breaks agreements with herself when it comes to food and exercise.
- She has an emotional craving for sweetness.
- She grew up with fear and criticism as motivators.
- She is a rebelling against herself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should speak kindly to herself when feels stressed.
- She should soothe herself with something else.
- She should do grief work around what she wanted from her parents and be a loving parent to herself.
- She should find a way to do things without them feeling oppressive.
- She should research her blood sugar levels.
- Don’t try to beat your sugar addiction with willpower alone.
- If you feel stuck in any aspect of your life become a disciple and find your ‘toward motivation’ to get what you want.
- Find ways to be sweet to yourself and self-soothe.
- Write an ‘I wish’ letter to your parents and then use it to give yourself the gift of inner sweetness.
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We don’t just arrive at our full potential. We take steps to move into our full potential by not limiting ourselves, by sharing our gifts, by expressing ourselves authentically, and by going after what we truly want and not feeling any guilt or shame about it wanting it or having it. We fear success and are worried about what other people will think or feel, particularly leaving people behind, because we are growing at different rates. We doubt the goodness coming into our lives and we wait for the other shoe to drop. We end up sabotaging our health, wealth and relationships. But why?
Sara had a habit of creating intimacy through people needing her, through pleasing people or through having a problem or issue she could commiserate about. She would make herself small to create a bond or connection with someone else. I helped her realize what was the payoff of why she was scared to shine her light.Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google
- Are you currently, or has there been a time in the past, where things start going great and you sabotage it?
- Are you afraid of shining your light because of what other people might think or you may leave people behind?
- Do you long to feel connected to people so much that you engage in people pleasing or caretaking just because you want to feel like you matter and you want to be connected?
- Are you willing to admit that you live in a scarcity mindset instead of an abundant mindset?
Sara would like to break her cycle of self-sabotage when it comes to her business and health.
Sara’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She fears she will be separate if she lets herself shine.
- She may be addicted to suffering.
- She is scared to disrupt the dynamic that creates intimacy.
- She is afraid of how powerful she really is.
- She grew up in a scarcity mindset.
- She is trying to be in both scarcity and abundance.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs a new picture of what success and health will look like for her.
- She should shine brightly from her essence without comparing it to others.
- She needs to shine so she can empower others to do the same.
- If you are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior, determine what the payoff is. Write down a new way to get the same payoff. Reflect on any limited beliefs you may have inherited.
- Think about people who are shining their light and how they inspire you. Get a new picture of what living into your new potential looks like.
- Write down what your life would look like if you were shining brightly.
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This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and on with it. I coach today’s caller, Lindsey, on how to move from awareness to implementation. She knows the next steps to take but cannot figure out why she isn’t taking them. She thinks her problem is about time management, productivity, and balance but, as you will hear in the call, it’s not about that at all.
What do you think about failure? Imagine you fail, or you get a no, or your endeavor is a complete flop. What happens inside of you? What do you think and feel? Are you embarrassed?
A healthy relationship to failure is an essential ingredient to success. Failure is defined as lack of success. But defining success is more difficult because if success is learning something, growing, or having experiences that make us stronger and wiser, then we never really fail. In my opinion, the only way you fail is if you go into the hopeless, helpless victim mode.
Stop playing it safe just because you want to avoid failure. Instead of taking teeny, tiny baby steps, get out of your comfort zone, and jump in the pool so you can move forward.
You have to drop the guilt and give yourself permission to do what you want.
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- How are you at moving from awareness to implementation?
- How do you feel about failure? What has been your biggest failure to date?
- What steps do you know you should take, but don’t seem to be taking?
Lindsey would like to know how to take action and use her time more wisely.
Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She lives in an Expectation Hangover.
- She’s never made a step without having a plan in place.
- She’s feeling paralysis from analysis.
- The fear of change is holding her back.
- There is a piece of her that remains unfulfilled.
- She knows the status quo will lead to regret and remorse.
- She has a fear that no one will want to work with her.
- She feels guilty about her lack of focus.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
- She needs to take steps that don’t threaten her sense of security but are still out of her comfort zone.
- She needs to write out the expectations she makes of herself and then create agreements with herself.
- Take a risk and let yourself fail.
- Write down your expectations and then make agreements with yourself, and stick to them.
- Give yourself permission to go for your dreams, even if it means failing.
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