Tag Archives: self-esteem

EP 100: How to Find Yourself When You Feel Isolated and Lack Self-Esteem with Judy

 

EP100This episode is about being your authentic self and speaking your truth. I coach today’s caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation, and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband, and herself, about her needs.

Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically, or we don’t have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection to ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community.

Speaking your truth is when you say what’s true for you, and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth?

Many of us think people pleasing is a way to get love and find validation. We think if people see the real us, they may not like us. The more you show the real you, and the more authentic you are, your relationship with yourself will improve, your self-esteem will improve, and the intimacy and connection you have with other people will also improve.

It’s great to make other people happy but it’s more important to please ourselves first, by making self-honoring choices. People pleasing could be the reason you are feeling isolated. On some level, people pleasing is draining.

Drop the people pleasing, up your self-esteem by making self-honoring choices and get out there and find your tribe!

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel isolated? Are you craving more connection?
  • Are you in a marriage or relationship where you feel isolated? Do you feel like you are dependent on your partner or you are living according to their dreams and desires more than your own?
  • Are you a people pleaser? Do you have a hard time making your needs a priority?
  • Do you find it challenging to speak your truth?

Judy’s Question:

Judy wants to know how to find herself and how to raise her self-esteem.

Judy’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been continuously moving for a year.
  • Her husband tries to support her but he doesn’t really get it.
  • Her husband has a stronger personality than she does.
  • She’s dependent on her husband and doesn’t go places on her own.
  • She always puts other people first.
  • She has a hard time saying no.
  • She takes care of people, hoping it will help to build intimacy.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should be honest and vulnerable with her husband about her feelings.
  • She should speak up when she feels she wants to say something.
  • She should lean more into authenticity and less into people pleasing.
  • She should spend some time on her own engaging with other people.

Takeaways:

  • If you are in a relationship with the opposite sex, and would like to improve your masculine/feminine communication dynamics, consider studying the subject more.
  • If you are feeling isolated, start with a goal of talking to five new people every day, and then build on that number. Start getting yourself out there and finding your tribe.
  • Speak your truth authentically. If you have trouble doing it, join the Inner Circle community. Authenticity is this month’s area of focus.
  • Communicate your needs to the most important people in your life.

Sponsor:

Daily Harvest — Organic Superfoods delivered to your door. Use promo code OVERIT to get 3 free Daily Harvest cups.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

The Queen’s Code, by Alison A. Armstrong

Understand Men PAX Program by Alison Armstrong

David Deida

Tweetables:

You are the source of your own safety.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

[It’s wonderful to do things that please other people, but not if you are sacrificing your… Click To Tweet

A healthy, loving relationship with ourselves and with source is how we avoid being lonely when we are… Click To Tweet

podcastb

100 and Going Strong

I am thrilled to share the 100th coaching call on my podcast aired this week.  When I began this podcast a year and a half ago, I had no idea if it would be successful. I felt as if people would benefit from hearing other people be coached on air but I had no guarantees.

I had so many questions when I began. Would anyone even sign up to be coached?

Would people be willing to have such vulnerable information shared publicly? Could I help people in just 20 minutes? How the heck do I figure out how to put this together logistically? What technology will I use? What should the structure of the show be? How much will it cost?

All these questions delayed me for about eight months.  I had the idea and the desire, but my uncertainty kept slowing me down. Finally I took my own coaching advice and took one small step at a time until eventually our first episode “Overcoming Self Doubt and Fear with Anneke” was released.

What an appropriate title right? I had to get over my own doubt and fear to bring this podcast to life and I’m so glad I did because I LOVE doing it. 

And thanks to you, it has grown steadily and even has been picked up by Podcast One! None of this would be possible without YOU. Thank you for being part of my tribe. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing the show with others. Thank you to those of you who have been coached on air for showing up with so much courage.

Go here to listen to Episode 100 with Judy!

Today I encourage you to STOP allowing fear, doubt or just not having all the answers to prevent you or even delay you from taking action.  If you have an idea or creation you long to bring to life, go for it! 

Here’s the thing to keep in mind that may give you some peace of mind:  you do not have to know all the steps to the finish line to get started.  If you are working to get from A to Z, you do not need to know what step D or M or S is. Just take step A and then determine what step B is. Moving one step at a time generates momentum and the more momentum you more likely you are to reach your goal.

And don’t miss episode 100 where I coach Judy on how to find yourself when you feel isolated and lack self-esteem. Listen here.

Please share this our 100th coaching call with your friends.  Here is a tweet for you:

Very helpful tips to overcome loneliness and people pleasing on Ep 100 of Over it and On with it. (tweet this!!)

Thank you again for listening to Over It and On With It!! Here’s to hundreds and hundreds of more amazing and inspiring calls with my fellow growth seekers.

With love,

Christine