Christine talks about what self-love really is, how to not suffer over being single, and how to release expectations of your romantic partner.Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google
This call is about self-acceptance and self-love. Today’s caller, Aly, wants to move into acceptance of an illness but she is attempting to do it with a lot of judgment about herself and not from a place of love.
It’s wonderful to be a seeker but it’s important to be mindful of coming from a place of wanting to learn and grow, not from the place of, there is something wrong with me and I need to fix it. If you are overdosing on personal growth from the perspective of ‘solving all your problems’ — you are not broken!
Self-love is a daily practice and sometimes even a moment-to-moment practice. Self-love is truly the process and practice of acceptance. We are human. We are not going to love everything about ourselves all the time. We are going to say and do things that we may want to take back. It’s OK. Self-love is about forgiving ourselves in the process.
Remember we always have another present moment to do better. The key to acceptance is taking responsibility for your thoughts and behaviors without beating yourself up. You are not broken!
- Do you see yourself as a constant self-improvement project?
- Do you approach self-love with an all-or-nothing attitude?
- Are you hard on yourself — especially your body?
- Is there something you are attempting to get rid of by sweeping it under the rug or hating it?
Aly has spent many years trying to get rid of chronic disease and would like to know how to accept it and get unstuck.
Aly’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She feels she is not good enough.
- She can’t seem to accept who she is.
- She is afraid to be happy.
- She uses her weight as a happiness meter.
- She abuses herself and feels guilty about it.
How to get over it and on with it:
- She needs to realize she is not broken.
- She should get the anger out by writing letters to the guys who broke her heart.
- She should write an apology letter to her body.
- She should give her body a love bath every morning.
- By realizing she is proud of herself.
Assignments and Takeaways:
- Give yourself permission to write an F-U letter — write it and then destroy it.
- Write an apology letter to your body using these sentence stems:
- I’m sorry because…
- I’m learning from you that…
- I forgive myself for…
- I forgive you, body, for…
- Give yourself a body love bath.
- Make self-honoring choices and make new agreements with yourself.
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Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
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This episode is about relationships. If you are in a relationship that isn’t healthy, has reached its expiration date, or no longer serves you, this episode will help you gain clarity to your situation and emancipate you from your relationship. Today’s caller, Daniella, is finding it difficult to break free from an issue-based relationship.
Learning to trust your intuition will help you to have relationships that are based on love and shared values. Your intuition will always know the answer but your hormones get in the way, especially in issue-based relationships.
You must separate love and lust to find the true intimacy. Love isn’t volatile and it doesn’t include lying. A healthy relationship doesn’t create anxiety or doubt.
We bring these relationships into our lives to show us a part of our life we need to heal.
Consider the difference between short-term discomfort and prolonged suffering in your life. Sometimes we need a little tough love to get us out of an unhealthy relationship so we can move to the healthy relationships and have true love inside ourselves and with another.
I am headed to Australia. If you would like to be part of a half-day intensive, a session with me or life coach training, email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.
- Are you in a relationship you are doubting? Have you had a recent breakup and are doubting the choice?
- Do you tend to fall in love with potential and see more of the fantasy than the reality of who a person really is?
- Do you tend to believe a person’s words and promises more than their actions and behaviors?
- How is your current relationship with yourself? Are you kind, generous and loving with yourself? Do you trust yourself?
Daniella has trouble ending relationships even when she knows they are not healthy.
Daniella’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She felt like a misfit in high school.
- She may be confusing love with infatuation.
- She has low self-worth and low self-confidence.
- She’s in an issue-based relationship.
- She deserves better relationships.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to see her relationship for what it is.
- She should look at what this relationship is teaching her.
- She should write a letter to announce she is not interested in getting back together.
- She needs to work on getting closure on her own.
- She should look at how she loves herself and treats herself.
- She should work through the exercises in Expectation Hangover.
- Get honest about your relationships. Make sure someone’s words and behaviors match.
- If you know a relationship has reached its expiration date, get closure and have boundaries.
- Use these sentence starters to write a free-form letter you don’t intend to send:
- Dear (name) I am saying goodbye to you because…
- Thank you for…
- I learned from you…
- I forgive you for…
- I forgive myself for…
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This episode is about trusting ourselves and changing our relationship with money and with people. Today’s caller, Jillian, is low on self-love and self-trust and she finds herself buying love. Money and love have been combined and entangled her entire life and her self-worth is dependent on her net worth. However, she doesn’t like having money.
Jillian doesn’t like money because it brings up things she doesn’t want to face. Money was used as emotional currency in her family. All she wanted was love and attention. It’s not the money she is angry at, it’s her father. She has been craving love for a long time.
This love/hate relationship manifests in a cycle. She makes money because she thinks she needs it to survive and then she gets mad at it because it triggers her past issues. Then, she spends it and then panics because she doesn’t have any. The cycle then starts all over again. In order to have a better relationship with money, Jillian has to heal her past issues with her father.
She has love and money paired together. It’s incredibly confusing and has made her repeat the behavior of her father. If she were to disconnect money and love she would have healthier relationships.
Anything we unconsciously fear, we test. Jillian has a fear that if she doesn’t have money no one will love her so she tests it by almost sabotaging her financial well-being to see if someone will stay in her life.
What are you unconsciously testing that you are actually manifesting?
This is a great year to focus on self-love, self-acceptance, and self-care. The kinder and more loving you are to yourself the more love you have to give and share. My new journal, 40 Days to Increase Your Peace, Productivity and Prosperity can help you focus on what is important. Sign up for my newsletter at ChristineHassler.com so you know when it’s available.
- How do you describe your relationship with money?
- What was your family’s financial situation growing up and how did that affect you?
- Do you feel like someone tried to buy your love or apologized with material things?
- Have you ever tried to buy affection or attention with gifts or money?
- Do you trust yourself when it comes to money?
Jillian has had money and trust issues since she was a little girl and would like to know how to separate love from money.
Jillian’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She was told she would never have to worry about money.
- She doesn’t know how to separate love from money.
- She craves love and connection with people.
- Her money challenges have always been solved with money.
- She doesn’t have to buy love.
- She has a scarcity mentality when it comes to money.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to understand that she has been craving love for a long time.
- She should speak with her husband more about her fears.
- She should make a list of the ways she breaks trust with herself and make new agreements.
- She needs to uplevel her financial IQ.
- Make a list of the ways you break trust with yourself and make new agreements. Keep your word to yourself!
- Evaluate your relationship with money and up your financial IQ.
- Challenge yourself to be more intimate with people instead of giving them gifts.
- If you are having difficulty trusting yourself with money, go to the bank and set up a ‘trust’ fund.
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