Tag Archives: triggers

Oh no, this again?

Do you ever feel as if you have really healed an issue or gotten to the other side of a difficult situation and then WHAM something happens and all of a sudden you feel like you are back at the beginning?

Are we ever done? Do things get easier? Is it possible to truly be free of something that has plagued us for decades?

No, yes and yes.

No we are never done. Life is a continual process of learning and growing. But, yes, things do get easier and, yes, we can truly be free of things that have haunted us for a lifetime. Some things just take longer than others and we need multiple lessons.

Also, a lot of issues have many layers to them and our psyche can only deal with so much a time. The way I have seen healing work is that we have times of tremendous breakthroughs that carry us for a while and then, when we are ready for the next layer to be revealed and healed, a triggering event will occur to move us to the next level in our growth.

I recently had an experience where a very old and familiar button got pushed and it is one of my biggest buttons: rejection. It was unexpected but hauntingly familiar.

This time instead of getting sad, I got mad. I was so over that button being pushed in the way it was pushed that I went into that “No, not this again” kind of feeling. At first I tried to resist it but as we all know, that is not effective. I had to put my life coach hat on and remind myself that there must be another level of healing for me to get to with this particular issue. When an old, familiar button gets pushed it just means the button is still there.

What I realized is that once again I was taking the rejection personally instead of seeing that it was happening for me and could have been the result of the other person’s fear or limiting beliefs. In other words, maybe it had nothing to do with me.  Now I can get that mentally but embracing that concept has been challenging for me. So I channeled my anger into being mad at the fact that I have given my power away so many times when I took rejection personally. Let me emphasize, I did not direct anger at myself (never direct anger at yourself). Rather, I expressed how angry I was about allowing others to ever make me question my own worthiness.

The next level for me was reaching an even deeper level of empowerment and trust that whatever is not for my Highest Good will not happen. This level also required letting go of attachment. (I wrote about that last week so if you missed that blog, read it here)

So if you can relate to the feeling, “Oh no not this again” I assure you that you are on the precipice of your next upleveling!!  Do not buy into the misunderstanding that you are backtracking because you are not. There is another layer to explore that you are ready for . . . now all you need to do is be willing to explore it. Stop resisting. Stop judging. Stop being frustrated that you are working on the same issue because it is not exactly the same, it is occurring in a new way so you can learn something new.

Our biggest, most recurring issues and triggers are also our biggest growth opportunities, so embrace them! (Tweet This!!!) Welcome the familiar trigger because it means deep down you really want to relate to it differently and the only way we can relate to things differently is through practical application. In other words, to truly be free of our deepest pain, we draw in situations that trigger it until we learn how to relate to the trigger in a way that does not cause us pain.

Now is the time to flood yourself with so much compassion. Be a student rather than a victim of your life. Trust you are moving forward and be grateful for every triggering experience that is catalyzing your growth!

Questions? Comments? I am here to help! Please post below.

Much love,

Christine

P.S. Do you feel really stuck in your head and really want to listen to your heart and intuition but cannot seem to hear it? Then don’t miss episode 136 of my podcast where I coach Emma on moving from rational thinking to feeling and compassion.  Learn how to stop “figuring it out” and start feeling into what is most aligned for you.  Go here to listen. 

P.P.S. If you have been wanting to be coached on the podcast, I have exciting news!!! Coming up, on May 24th, you are invited to apply to receive free coaching and be a guest for our in-studio shoot hosted in San Diego, CA.
Please email jill@christinehassler.com and let her know you are interested in applying to be a guest!

P.P.P.S. Have you been wanting to take your coaching business to the next level? Them make sure to register for my Masterclass Training for Coaches, June 30th and July 1st in San Diego, CA. You will learn to..

  • Turn your passion into a career: spring into revenue building action with practical and personal guidance.
  • Make money as a coach: specific money-making techniques take your coaching aspirations from pipe-dream to profit.
  • Become a better salesperson: gain confidence and get better at enrolling clients; learn how to turn top objections into coachable moments.
  • Excel as a confident, effective coach: get your clients results, become more comfortable in your abilities and knowledge, and release fear and self-doubt.
  • And SO much more – Go here for more details and to register.

EP 134: How to Get An Ex Out of Your Head with Andrea

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This call is about is about reconnecting with our younger self and practicing real self-love. Today’s caller, Andrea, can’t get a guy out of her head. Is she following a pattern that started in her childhood?

If an ex is still taking up real estate within your head it’s probably not the person. There is something deeper within you that is begging for your attention and love.

In a relationship, we have to use discernment to know what is really a deep connection. Oftentimes, what we think is a deep connection is really infatuation and a positive projection. When we are getting to know someone we need to take off the rose-colored glasses. If you are feeling a deep connection to another person make sure you are also feeling a deep connection to yourself. Don’t get lost in the hormones of infatuation.

We must connect to the parts of us we have shamed or disowned and commit to having a more loving, nurturing relationship with ourselves.

Sometimes, we are scared of our own emotions but what about vulnerability? We don’t have to power through our emotions. It’s not weak to be vulnerable. It doesn’t make us a victim. Being vulnerable is incredibly courageous and powerful. Go slow, be with your emotions and be compassionate. So many of our emotions in our adult life stem from our childhood stuff. If we continue to power through our emotions we attract experiences that try to trigger them so we can finally feel them.

Would you like to become a masterful, profitable coach? Join me in Sydney, Australia on April 14th & 15th to fast-track the success of your coaching business. Visit Christine’s Master Class for more information. I am also holding a one-day Women’s Retreat for 10 women on April 13, 2018, in Bondi Beach. It’s a condensed version of my signature retreat. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there an ex or anyone else that you have had a difficult relationship with and you can’t get them out of your head?
  • Do you have the same kind of relationship patterns and the same results in relationships?
  • When you were younger did you often feel bullied, duped, left out, or isolated?
  • When you try to connect to younger parts of yourself do you feel silly? Do you find it hard? Is it difficult for you to do?

Andrea’s Question:

Andrea is looking for guidance as she tries to get an ex out of her head.

Andrea’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She hadn’t connected with someone so deeply before.
  • She is looking for someone to grow with her.
  • She doesn’t feel worthy of love.
  • She was bullied as a kid.
  • She judges herself.
  • She feels disconnected from her younger self.
  • She is nourishing her body with food instead of overeating.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to nurture her younger self and tell her that she is capable of being loved.
  • She needs to reconnect with the part of her that feels ashamed and alone.
  • She should stop dating for a while.
  • She should attend a Mastery course.
  • She should check in with her little girl every day.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Start a communication with the younger parts of yourself. Get a picture and talk and write to yourself.
  • Take a pause from dating or doing things that reinforce the pattern that you want to break.
  • If you can’t get over an ex, see it as an alarm that triggers you to pay attention to yourself.
  • Sign up for my Mastery class coming up in May.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

Underneath anger, there is usually hurt. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

Do you soothe yourself with food? Do you know why you do it? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

If an ex is still taking up real estate within your head, it’s probably not the person. There… Click To Tweet

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EP 120: Breaking Up with Sugar and Finding Lasting Sweetness with Marina

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This episode is about finding the true sweetness in life. Today’s caller, Marina, feels like she is stuck, especially when it comes to resisting sugar and taking care of her body. As you will hear in the call, It’s not actually sugar she is craving.

We don’t overcome our eating patterns with discipline alone. There is no one diet or one book that fixes it. Usually, there is a deeper issue at play that goes back to our childhood.

When it comes to dealing with any kind of food addiction or self-sabotaging behavior when it comes to food or exercise it is important we get to the root of the issue and get support to start building new healthy habits.

Most people try to change themselves because they want to get away from something. It may get them to a certain point but it is depleting because it employs criticism and restriction. This ‘moving away from’ motivation triggers your inner rebel which is why it usually doesn’t work.

Having ‘toward’ motivation is becoming a disciple and having a loving following of the thing you are moving toward, like your health and well being.

I find, people who crave sugar didn’t have a lot of sweetness or nurturing growing up. They internalize an overly critical or controlling parent or they use self-criticism as a motivator. Sweetness and nurturing is something we humans need. If you weren’t soothed as a child food can become a soothing strategy. Give yourself the sweetness and nurturing you may not have gotten growing up.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you feel stuck or like you are sabotaging yourself in some area of your life?
  • Do you have a sugar or food addiction?
  • Are you hard on yourself especially when judging yourself as lazy or lacking self-discipline?
  • Did you grow up with a lot of sweetness and nurturing in your life?

Marina’s Question:

Marina feels limited in her ability to be happy and that she lacks discipline.

Marina’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has created self-supportive habits for herself.
  • She breaks agreements with herself when it comes to food and exercise.
  • She has an emotional craving for sweetness.
  • She grew up with fear and criticism as motivators.
  • She is a rebelling against herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should speak kindly to herself when feels stressed.
  • She should soothe herself with something else.
  • She should do grief work around what she wanted from her parents and be a loving parent to herself.
  • She should find a way to do things without them feeling oppressive.
  • She should research her blood sugar levels.

Takeaways:

  • Don’t try to beat your sugar addiction with willpower alone.
  • If you feel stuck in any aspect of your life become a disciple and find your ‘toward motivation’ to get what you want.
  • Find ways to be sweet to yourself and self-soothe.
  • Write an ‘I wish’ letter to your parents and then use it to give yourself the gift of inner sweetness.

Sponsor:

NOOM— Is a modern weight release program that turns temptations into behavioral breakthroughs. Use this link to receive your own customized course designed by psychologists, nutritionists, and physicians, 24/7 access to your own personal coach, and the first 2 weeks free + 50% off your subscription.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

University of Santa Monica

Shift Your Health and Your Mindset — A Coaches Corner with JJ Virgin

Tweetables:

Discipline comes from the word disciple which means loving follower.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Sabotaging behavior comes when it is time for you to move to the next level of… Click To Tweet

The more you embrace who you are, the less you will sabotage yourself.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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EP 119: Breaking Free of Your Role in Your Family with Jenna

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The essence of today’s episode is about breaking free of the roles we play in our families. Today’s caller, Jenna, is not stepping into her potential — specifically her financial potential — because she is still playing the role in her family that she played as a child and teenager. She wants to make sure everyone else is okay and it is holding her back.

Many of us deal with the same issue as we individuate and become adults. There is a certain way we fit into our family to get safety, security, and love. When we start to have success and abundance, there is a part of us that feels like we are unworthy or unsafe. This is what I call an Upper Limits problem.

We often stop ourselves from moving forward because we are so concerned about what other people think. If you think your success comes at the risk of someone else not getting it, feeling small, or not understanding, you will keep getting in your own way. If you value fitting in and protecting your role over living your dreams, you may need to shift.

Sometimes your very existence may trigger someone. If other people in your family are suffering that is their choice. If they are making choices that make them unhappy it is not your job to suffer with them. Break free of the role of carrying your family’s burdens. Break free of trying to make everyone understand you.

You cannot see your vision clearly or see your full potential clearly if you are watching and managing how people are reacting to what you are doing. Know that trying to make other people feel comfortable at the same time as living into your full potential is impossible. It is your job to fulfill your mission.

If you resonated with this episode go back and listen to my coaching call #113 with Sarah about shining your light.

BIG NEWS! I have four spaces open for my one-on-one coaching. If you want to uplevel your life and career email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to get an application.

Subscribe in iTunes | Stitcher | SoundCloud | Android | Google

Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How are you getting in your own way? How are you sabotaging your own success, specifically financially?
  • What role did you play in your family? What did you do to fit in, to please everyone else to keep yourself safe?
  • How is that role potentially holding you back at this point in your life?
  • Is there a part of you who is afraid to step into your full potential? Are you playing small because you don’t want to make other people feel small?

Jenna’s Question:

Jenna would like to become a bigger version of herself but feels something always pulls her back. She would like to uplevel her yoga business.

Jenna’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is keeping herself small to make other people comfortable.
  • She was a caretaker in her family.
  • She felt embarrassed by her ambitions.
  • She didn’t want to make others feel small.
  • She feels successful even with financial challenges.
  • It’s okay for her to share herself with confidence even if it triggers other people.
  • If she doesn’t shift she may end up resenting people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should write letters she doesn’t intend to mail, to cut the energetic cords to family members.
  • She should realize people are capable of handling their own experience.
  • She should write down some new beliefs.
  • She should turn her efforts inward to help her and her little girl make her dreams come true.

Takeaways:

  • Write a letter to the people you feel you will upset without mailing it.
  • Visualize and practice yourself looking forward, not backward.
  • Write a list of your competing intentions. Get fully aligned with the intentions that put you where you want to go and accept that you can’t make everyone happy.
  • Consider how the role you played in your family is impacting your life right now and journal your thoughts. What is your new role?

Sponsor:

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True Car Are you looking for a simpler buying experience when you buy a new or used car? True Car will help you feel confident you are paying the ‘true’ price when buying a new or used car. You can even see what others paid for their cars.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com

Tweetables:

Are you not fully stepping into your potential because you are afraid you will make someone… Click To Tweet

We get so comfortable in the role we play in our family we confuse it with our true… Click To Tweet

The only person who needs to understand you is you.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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