Tag Archives: trust

EP 122: Stop Doubting Your Choice to End a Relationship with Daniella

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This episode is about relationships. If you are in a relationship that isn’t healthy, has reached its expiration date, or no longer serves you, this episode will help you gain clarity to your situation and emancipate you from your relationship. Today’s caller, Daniella, is finding it difficult to break free from an issue-based relationship. 

Learning to trust your intuition will help you to have relationships that are based on love and shared values. Your intuition will always know the answer but your hormones get in the way, especially in issue-based relationships.

You must separate love and lust to find the true intimacy. Love isn’t volatile and it doesn’t include lying. A healthy relationship doesn’t create anxiety or doubt.

We bring these relationships into our lives to show us a part of our life we need to heal.

Consider the difference between short-term discomfort and prolonged suffering in your life. Sometimes we need a little tough love to get us out of an unhealthy relationship so we can move to the healthy relationships and have true love inside ourselves and with another.

 I am headed to Australia. If you would like to be part of a half-day intensive, a session with me or life coach training, email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Are you in a relationship you are doubting? Have you had a recent breakup and are doubting the choice?
  • Do you tend to fall in love with potential and see more of the fantasy than the reality of who a person really is?
  • Do you tend to believe a person’s words and promises more than their actions and behaviors?
  • How is your current relationship with yourself? Are you kind, generous and loving with yourself? Do you trust yourself?

Daniella’s Question:

Daniella has trouble ending relationships even when she knows they are not healthy.

Daniella’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She felt like a misfit in high school.
  • She may be confusing love with infatuation.
  • She has low self-worth and low self-confidence.
  • She’s in an issue-based relationship.
  • She deserves better relationships.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs to see her relationship for what it is.
  • She should look at what this relationship is teaching her.
  • She should write a letter to announce she is not interested in getting back together.
  • She needs to work on getting closure on her own.
  • She should look at how she loves herself and treats herself.
  • She should work through the exercises in Expectation Hangover. 

Action Steps:

  • Get honest about your relationships. Make sure someone’s words and behaviors match.
  • If you know a relationship has reached its expiration date, get closure and have boundaries.
  • Use these sentence starters to write a free-form letter you don’t intend to send:
    • Dear (name) I am saying goodbye to you because…
    • Thank you for…
    • I learned from you…
    • I forgive you for…
    • I forgive myself for…

Sponsor:

Freshbooks is easy to use cloud accounting software for self-employed professionals. Freshbooks wants to help you master your business with online payments and project management options. Receive an unrestricted 30-day free trial at Freshbooks.com/Christine, just use OVERITANDONWITH IT in the how did you hear about us section.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Tweetables:

In a relationship, love is not enough. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

Sometimes we must choose a short-term, hard thing to save ourselves from prolonged suffering.… Click To Tweet

Don’t settle for anything less than true love of self and true love from others.… Click To Tweet

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EP 117: Moving From Awareness About Your Issues to Actually Making Changes with Natalie

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This episode is about moving from awareness to integration. Today’s caller, Natalie, has been on the path of personal growth for two years but is finding it difficult to integrate her new awareness and make real change happen in her life.

Awareness is great but it’s only a step to actually making changes in our lives. We have to take awareness and shift it into changes — changes in the way we think, changes in the way we react and process our feelings, changes in our behavior. And, not from the perspective that there is anything wrong with us or that we are broken but from ‘what am I going to do with this awareness now that I have it?’

Trusting yourself is very important. You must stop doubting yourself and stop breaking your word with yourself in terms of commitments and self-care. If you do, consciously re-negotiate with yourself. When we don’t have self-trust it is torture. We agonize over a decision and we search for someone ‘out there’ to give us the answer or make us feel safe. No one else can do it. It is an inside job.

Be sure to check out this weekend’s Coaches Corner! I will be addressing ghosting and flaky behavior.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you find it challenging to move from awareness to integration?
  • Do you have a parent who has been absent in some way? A divorce, death, emotional unavailability and you sense it could be affecting your current relationships?
  • Can you relate to the feeling of being anxious in a relationship because of a fear that a person may leave and stop liking or loving you?
  • When it comes to trust, how are you at trusting others and do you trust yourself?

Natalie’s Question:

Natalie would like to know how to use her awareness to be happier with herself and in relationships.

Natalie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She had a loving and supportive relationship with her parents.
  • She expects men to betray her and has fears of abandonment.
  • She created a story to block out her father’s affair.
  • She doesn’t keep the self-honoring choices she makes to herself.
  • She had a strained relationship with her mother.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should be more patient with herself and less critical of her development.
  • She should read or listen to the book, Attachment.
  • She should start connecting with her inner child.
  • She should trust herself and rely on her inner resources.

Sponsor:

NOOMIs a modern weight release program that turns temptations into behavioral breakthroughs. Use this link to receive your own customized course designed by psychologists, nutritionists, and physicians, 24/7 access to your own personal coach, and the first 2 weeks free + 50% off your subscription.

Audible — Listen to Attached with your free 30-day trial.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Five Phases of Personal Growth Vlog

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find and Keep Love, by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Tweetables:

The conscious mind is only responsible for 3-5% of our behavior.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

The kinds of relationships you have change most dramatically when your relationship with yourself… Click To Tweet

Stop letting your past be the reason you don’t have what you want.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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How to Trust Yourself

Is there a decision you are struggling with? Is there something you want to do but you just are not 100% sure if you should?

If your answer is yes, how would it feel if I gave you permission to make the choice you want to make but are scared to?

My guess is you would feel relief. But then you would question that relief with what if’s like:

What if I hurt someone? What if I fail? What if it isn’t the “right” decision? What if people don’t agree?

All these what if’s are keeping you in limbo. They are keeping you a prisoner of fear. They are reinforcing a limiting belief that other people’s feelings or expectations are more important than your TRUTH.

In today’s vlog I talk about how to stop doubting and start trusting yourself. Be sure to watch because this is a VERY important topic if you want to live into your full potential.

One of the most common patterns I’ve seen in over a decade of being a coach is people seeking me out for clarity about a decision. Almost 100% of the time, they already know the answer. They are just looking for someone to give them reassurance and permission.

But it’s not my job (or anyone else’s) to give you permission. What is my job as a coach is to guide you back to trusting your intuition. YOU are the boss of your life!! You can trust your intuition even if it does not always make sense or feels scary. 

It is time to stop running to other people for answers! Believe me, I understand how hard that is especially when it comes to BIG decisions. In the vlog I share an example of a biggie decision in my life that involved a pretty awesome move from my Dad so be sure to watch.

Remember:  You cannot develop self-trust without action.  Sitting in indecision just reinforces self-doubt and anxiety (Tweet this!). The minute you make a choice, you are back in action and you feel free. Worst-case scenario is there may be an expectation hangover but then you just pivot, learn and adjust. But paralysis by analysis just keeps you stuck!

What do you need to give yourself permission to do? Head on over to the blog and comment so I can cheer you on!!

I believe in you! I trust you! It’s time for you to trust you.

With love,

Christine

p.s. Did you catch my podcast this week? I coach Montana on how to put herself first in order to figure out what she wants to do professionally. Go here to listen

Coaches Corner: Untame Yourself with Elizabeth Dialto

podcast img new 800 x 800Are you ready to untame your soul?? That sounds really good doesn’t it? Or maybe it doesn’t – maybe it sounds terrifying.  Either way, I have one of my best friends and soul sisters here for you on Coaches Corner to talk about it.

Meet Elizabeth Dialto.  She is the founder of Wild Soul Movement.  Her mission is to build community, curate conversations, and create content, events, and experiences that turn your relationship with yourself into one of the most wild, passionate love affairs of your lifetime.

The Wild Soul Movement™ program provides a grounded and loving practice in self-discovery designed to get all parts of you in right relationship with each other. Elizabeth’s aim is to meet you where you are and guide you to where you want to be while always keeping primary focus on cultivating your trust and faith in the idea that everything you’ve ever needed has always been inside of YOU.

We talk about what the wild soul moment is about and Elizabeth shares how she learned to love herself and her body by stripping away everything that was preventing her from seeing what already was, and she is committed to help you do the same

I am personally taking this course and am a part of the WSM, you can join me at wildsoulmovement.com/christine

And to join the Summer of Love Challenge go to christinehassler.com/love-challenge

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