WITH CHRISTINE HASSLER
Warning: Being Sexy could be hazardous to your health!
Pole Dancing gets me laid. . .up!!!
My attempt to be sexy has failed miserably. This past summer, I decided that it was high time for me to try the newest workout trend of aerobic strip tease and pole dancing. After all, I’m married now so any lingering Catholic guilt should have died down. So I enrolled in Shelia Kelly’s S-Factor. Allow to me to say, women are hot! Men definitely have the better end of the deal . . . I mean a man doing hip circles, not that sexy. I’ve also learned that it seems like all women are sexier than me. In my second week of class I twisted my ankle trying to walk in platform heels. Did I mention I have arthritis in my left foot – oh yeah, I have “sex kitten” written all over me. The next few weeks I came home sore and bruised with an entirely new respect for strippers.
But I’m now over six months in and starting to get my confidence up, thanks to my amazing teachers Sara Goodman & Andrea Frankovich. And then this past Saturday I attempted to do one of the inverted flying tricks, “the spinning snake.” It did not go so well – in fact I just got back from seeing an orthopedic doctor. He and his staff got a good giggle out of my injury; it was their first pole dancing incident.
The diagnosis: possibly a hairline fracture and definitely a contusion on my rib. I am in so much pain – sneezing and laughing feels like someone is stabbing me. So much for being sexy, I think I’ll stick to lipstick and perfume – so far those have not caused me any bodily harm.