WITH CHRISTINE HASSLER
My 10 Year College Reunion
My college degree taught me a lot of things, but I don’t think any of us really walk away from college with the most important lesson of all: knowing who we truly are. I’ve spent the past ten years discovering who I am and working to accept it. Maybe that is what reunions are really for. It’s not about showing up to show off how far you’ve come or how great you look – it’s about showing up AS yourself.
So that’s who I showed up as, and do you know what? I had a blast! As I reconnected with people, I shared with them about how I struggled with tremendous self-doubt and almost every person I talked to could relate in some way. College, like the twenty-something years that follow, is a confusing time. We are just beginning to discover who we are – and most of us are pretty hard on ourselves as we do. Now on the flight home from Chicago after reconnecting with some amazing people and realizing how much I kept myself separate, I’ll admit that I’m indulging in a little “If only. . .” If only I would have made more of an effort to learn how to be a friend and build lasting friendships. If only I had known that the boys I liked actually liked me back. If only I had not stressed myself out studying so hard because no one has EVER asked me what my GPA was. If only I had more fun instead. If only I had taken the classes I actually wanted to take instead of taking ones I thought I “should.” But “if only” thinking is as much of a spin cycle as “when/then” thinking. It takes us out of the present moment and produces regret. As I bring my awareness back to the present sitting here in my purple and white Northwestern T-shirt, I realize that the key ingredient that was missing for me in college was being in and enjoying the present moment. Because I was so focused on the future and consumed with all the things I didn’t like about myself I missed out. Thank goodness I learned this lesson and could go back and really BE at my reunion and soak up all the good times.
I think many of you reading can probably relate to missing out on moments of your life because you were too fixated on the future or your internal negative self-talk muted out the moment. My encouragement for you this month is to take your own walk down memory lane and investigate any insecurities and/or expectations that you packed along the way. Be willing to begin taking steps to lighten your load by accepting where you are and who you are. Stop living for the future and enjoy the juiciness of where you are right now. The present moment deserves your full attention and participation – no matter how much you like it or not. Before you know it, you’ll get the invitation for your ten, twenty, or thirty year reunion, so savor all the moments in between.
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