WITH CHRISTINE HASSLER
Why you fear success
You know how awesome it feels when things are going super awesome in your life and you are doing the happy dance because you are expectation hangover free. Or how liberating it feels when you have big breakthroughs and experience a high and renewed sense of enthusiasm about life.
You feel successful, accomplished, proud and inspired until . . .
Fear creeps in.
And man is fear a party crasher.
So why do we freak out when things go well? Why do we often experience a breakdown after a breakthrough – isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, breakdown then breakthrough? These are the questions I answer in today’s vlog.
When we start to get the things we want and let go of old issues, there is a part of us that is doing the happy dance and there is often another part of us that starts to freak out. And fear stops the rhythm of the happy dancer.
As much as we desire success and awakening, we also fear it. Why?
A few reasons (one, several or all may apply):
- Until we clean up core limiting beliefs regarding our worthiness there is a part of us that doubts whether or not we deserve all the good that is coming our way. If on some level we feel not enough or not deserving, we may even feel like a fraud for having success.
- The little one inside of us may be triggered because at some point in our life things were super awesome and we got super duper excited and then something bad happened. Because of that old pain, we are scared the other shoe is going to drop and hesitate to get super duper excited because it may not last.
- We reach what Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap calls our “Upper Limit.” This is defined as when we go beyond our comfort level for feeling good and manufacture a bad feeling to feel comfortable again. Reasons #1 and #2 contribute to what our upper limit threshold is.
- When we have a major breakthrough, the ego may flip out. Our egos like to maintain the status quo so when we begin to heal and evolve, it’s like: “Wait, what is going on, things are changing, I must protect the comfort zone so I will create fear, fear, fear!” And we are left with a breakdown after a major breakthrough.
Now that you have a sense of why these fear based freak-outs happen, what do you do about it? Here are some tips:
- Know it’s normal and part of our humanness. Do not judge or resist it.
- Leverage this opportunity to create a feeling of safety inside (refresher on this in last weeks blog ). Reassure yourself. Fear feeds on self-judgment so be kind and gentle with yourself @christinhassler (Tweet this!)
- Dig deep into the limiting beliefs that are underneath the fear and create your upper limits. Identify what you still believe on some level that is perpetuating the freak out.
- Put new programming in because knowing the belief is there is not enough! I suggest journaling everyday for 5 minutes about the new beliefs you are programming in your mind (more tips on that tool here).
- Be diligent and disciplined about your daily practices. Do not skimp out on meditation, exercise, and rest. When fear is lurking around, be extra vigilant about keeping your word with yourself in terms of self-care.
- Reframe this experience as a huge growth opportunity to heal core limiting beliefs and bust through your upper limit. Do not become addicted to the suffering. Do not think whatever work you did didn’t work.
- Do not be ashamed of your challenges OR YOUR SUCCESS! Share and celebrate. Playing small or being overly modest is not humility, it is fear telling you it is not safe to shine your brightest @christinhassler (Tweet this!)
You deserve your success! Your breakthrough was and still is a breakthrough!!
Questions? Comments? I want to hear them and support you so head on over to the blog and share with me there.
p.s. Come bust through fear and totally bust the roof off your upper limits at one of my summer retreats:
Soul Sweat on June 7th – A one day retreat that is a detox and reset for your mind, body and soul. Join me and Ashley Turner for a day of yoga, meditation, coaching, and experiential exercises. Details here.
My annual summer retreat July 10-12th – This is my signature event that is for any woman ready for deep healing and clarity. Space for only 20. Details here.