We all have things that happen in our lives, which create fear, uncertainty, doubt and self-limiting beliefs. Often, we try to ease the pain of those things by chasing after something. For example, if you are really hard on yourself, then you may spend a lot of time wanting someone else to love you. You have a high want for a romantic relationship or you have a parent who was really hard on you or only validated you for your accomplishments, and you may have grown up with the feeling of unworthiness and high want for money and success.
Ego-based wants come from feeling ‘less than’, and then searching for something or someone to fill the void. These kinds of wants are not coming from an authentic place, because at the authentic self-level we know that absolutely nothing is missing. The want is coming from our ego. When we obtain our ego-based wants, they only give us a temporary sense of satisfaction. They do not cure the deep longing we feel for worthiness, belonging and love.
How do we know something we are longing for is not an ego-based desire but a true dream we must pursue? It comes down to the feeling of longing, which we feel in our heart, not in our head. Our dreams are a psychic prediction of what is coming; we feel a deep longing to experience something because we know that on some level, it is our destiny. We can’t always control the form and timing of it and that is where suffering can come in. It is imperative we pursue our dreams on the level of essence, not form; and we focus on the feelings we long to feel rather than try to make it happen or get attached to how we think it should happen.
An example of this is, perhaps you feel a longing to make an impact on the world. You feel a deep desire in your heart, which is almost painful when you feel you are not doing it right now. Instead of trying to figure out what business to start to make a difference, focus instead on the feelings you want to feel and then begin to take aligned actions in that direction. Set the intention every day to be of service and ask to be used as an instrument of impact. Look for the simple ways to make an impact right now. When it comes to dreams, waiting is not a good idea. Take action now to move you in the direction of how you want to feel and what you want to experience. The biggest roadblock to going after dreams is fear. Nothing silences the voice of your inner wisdom more than doubt and fear. Honor your dreams and stop being so scared.
Today’s caller, Anya is scared and feels guilty about wanting to go after her dream because it was not her original plan.
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- Do you know what your dreams are? Are you terrified to go after them?
- Do you feel stuck because you do not know how to turn your dreams and longings into actual steps?
- Are you concerned that if you don’t go after your dreams soon you will spend the rest of your life regretting it?
Anya has been feeling lost because she is passionate about acting but she is afraid to follow her dream.
Anya’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She feels the pressure of the expectations others have of her
- She is embarrassed that her dream is different than her education
- She needs to take the first step
How to get over it and on with it:
- She can give herself permission to stand for her dreams
- She should communicate her dream to others
- She needs to take the first step
- She should write a list of all the reasons acting is important to her
Tools and Takeaways:
- Give yourself permission to pursue your dreams
- Write down a list of reasons why your dreams have value and are safe to explore
- Change or update your story to include what matters most to you
- Get fully behind your dreams with intention
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“We are conditioned to believe we are only one thing in our career but it’s not true.”
“When it comes to dreams waiting is not a good idea.”
“Dreams are indicators of what is to come. The longer you delay taking action the longer they will take to come true.”