Top 5 ways to make and improve friendships

We tend to place a lot of importance on romantic relationships and our careers, often neglecting the value of friendships.  This is not a recipe for a fulfilling life!!

Quality friendships are a key ingredient to happiness.

However friendship does come with some challenges . . .

We may have outgrown some friends as our values shift.

Friends move on either physically or onto create their own families and therefore become less available.

We have some past hurts around feeling left out or rejected so we doubt our ability to make new friends.

It is difficult to find like-minded people to begin friendships with.

But these challenges can be overcome and are definitely NOT a reason to give up on friendships!  In today’s vlog I give you my tips for creating and nurturing the kind of friendships that enhance the quality of your life.

I would not be where I am today without my friends. I turn to them for unconditional love and support.  They shower me with compassion when I am struggling, celebrate my wins, and lovingly challenge me when I am not operating at my best.

But making friends has not always been easy for me.  I had a huge story around being left out by the “mean girls” in school and did not trust other women. I was so afraid of rejection that I chose loneliness over taking the risk to make friends.  Eventually the loneliness got too painful and I worked to heal the wounds around my perceived rejection by my peers. I made the choice to put myself out (very awkwardly at first because I was so self-conscious!) because I wanted to belong and feel connected. I followed the tips I am sharing with you.

My closest friends are people who I have created and nurtured deep relationships with.  These people did not just appear in my life. I made friendship a priority and followed the advice I am sharing with you today.

Here is a brief overview of the tips that I dive much deeper into in the vlog:

1. Become a better friend to yourself. The more you positively shift your internal dialogue and self-perception, the easier it will be to attract quality friends. And remember: you are worthy of friendship!

2. Ask people out on friend dates! There are a lot of people out there who want to be your friend but consider they may not know you are interested in a friendship or they may have their own insecurities. Think of how flattered they will be when you ask them to be your friend.

3. Grow your friendships by nurturing them. Initiate phone calls and invite your friends out to things. Do not wait to be invited, create the experiences that cultivate connection.

4. Look at friendships that have faded away and if they are ones you are interested in maintaining, reach out and reignite that friendship. A little effort goes a long way when it comes to friendship. That said, free yourself from friendships that are toxic or depleting. Some friendships have an expiration date so let go of those to make room for fresh ones.

5. Consistently put yourself in places and situations where you are likely to meet like-minded people. You can find your tribe anywhere. Trust me they exist!!

Please do not rely on your partner, family or career to provide you with the heart and soul connection that we all need.  Put intention and effort into creating friendships that are based on vulnerability and shared values.  You do not need a ton of friends, but you do need a few who can truly love you.

One of my favorite proverbs is:

“A friend sings you the song of your soul when you’ve forgotten”

Find your tribe and nurture them.  Make having and being an amazing friend a top priority in your life.

If you found today’s message helpful, please share it.  Here’s a tweet for you:

Great tips for making and nurturing healthy friendships: http://bit.ly/2qX0WYV @christinhassler ((Tweet This!!))

And I want to hear your thoughts and questions. What do you appreciate most about your friends? How has friendship improved the quality of your life?  What challenges are you facing when it comes to friendship.  Head on over to the blog and share with me.

With love,
Christine

p.s. If you relate to being a people pleaser, do not miss this week’s podcast where I coach Laura on getting over her pattern of doing more for others than she does for herself.  Listen to episode 89 here.

p.p.s. I’m honored to be a featured teacher at the Friendship University – where intelligent women who value healthier friendships come to learn.  This week, until the end of May, all my friends and community members can access my class “Preventing Expectation Hangovers in Your Friendships” for FREE (valued at $25 and includes a worksheet and inspiring resources!) by using the code “hasslerfree” before 5/31.   Click here to sign up. 

p.p.s. How would you like VIP access to an incredible tribe of like-minded people and me as your coach?  If that sounds appealing, then join my Inner Circle!  This unique, intimate group composed of men and women from around the world and you can enroll at any time. It is a monthly membership that you can cancel at any time. Learn more here or email jill@christinehassler.com to set up a call and discover if Inner Circle is right for you.

  • Eugene Sanford

    I love this segment, Christine. I have lots of friends from church, high school, and so on, but I never get the chance to go out on “friend dates” with other people. They are always busy with career, family, kids, and other things, and except for our class reunions, I never get a chance to see them at all.