This episode is about motivating a millennial out of their comfort zone. Today’s caller, Jane, is a mother of a 28-year-old daughter who is still living at home. We dive into how Jane’s needing to be needed can impact relationships in a not-so-positive way.
The millennial generation was the most over-parented generation. The parenting advice at the time was to be your child’s friend and that everyone is a winner. It has created a failure to launch, because the children never learned to make their own decisions. As a result, they may not do well when faced with challenges or uncertainty.
A lot of 20-Somethings blame their being dependent on the economy, or the job market, but it’s more about a comfort zone. But, what is comfortable is not always what is healthy. 20-Somethings who are still financially or emotionally dependent on their parents are experiencing ‘adult-a-lescence.’
Adulthood is about being emotionally responsible for yourself, making your own decisions and falling on your face a few times, struggling a bit and paying your dues.
If you are a 20-Something who is still living at home it’s time to cut the umbilical cord. You are delaying and avoiding becoming an adult. Stop being afraid to struggle, suffer or fail.
If you are a parent you need to cut the cord. You are enabling your child if you allow them to rely on you, financially or emotionally. You may be setting them up for a lifetime of not learning how to truly trust and depend on themselves.
If you are looking for support, encouragement and love, my Personal Mastery Course, Over It and On With It is the most comprehensive virtual coaching program I have. You receive 6-weeks of personalized coaching with me, guided meditations, videos, and I engage with you live on Facebook Live and in group coaching calls. This course starts in October, and it’s only offered once per year.
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- Are you a parent whose adult child is still living at home, and you like it?
- Are you a millennial who is still living at home?
- Does being needed make you feel good?
- Is there someone you think you are helping but may actually be enabling them by not giving them a chance to take care of themselves and to not learn their own lessons?
Jane would like to know how to motivate her 28-year-old daughter to get out of the house.
Jane’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- Her daughter doesn’t have any friends.
- She has played a role in her daughter’s failure to launch.
- She may be perpetuating her daughter’s belief that she is unstable.
- She wants to fix all of her children’s problems.
- She doesn’t want to see her children suffer.
- She is enabling her daughter to be complacent.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should read 20-Something Manifesto.
- She should speak with her daughter the health of their relationship and create a plan to help her to be on her own.
- She should stop giving her daughter so much advice.
- She should find something that makes her feel purposeful.
- She needs to shift her focus from her daughter to herself.
- She should realize she did the best she could.
- If you are a millennial living at home or have a millennial living home, create a launch plan.
- Work through the exercises in 20-Something Manifesto.
- Look at where you may need to be needed and let go of it. It may be reinforcing co-dependent behaviors and patterns.
- Look at how you may be enabling people by over-caretaking and rescuing them. Are being loving or enabling?
Tweetables:Are you a 20-Something who still lives at home? Stop being afraid to struggle and fail and go experience life! http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Continually saving or rescuing your child from failing is not for their higher-good. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet Children should believe they can take care of themselves and parents should reinforce that belief. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet