This episode is about listening to your intuition and getting clear about what you want from a relationship. Today’s caller, Sandra, realizes she may want to continue her current relationship due to familiarity or comfort and not because it is truly what she wants from a relationship.

Be mindful of what you are scared of and what you are making your number one fear. Sandra’s fear of losing herself should have been the fear she is paying attention to.

What legitimate fears should you pay more attention to? For example, the fear of losing someone you may be doubting the relationship with or the fear of spending additional years in an unsatisfying relationship? The fear of leaving your job and having less money for a while and dealing with uncertainty or the fear of spending the rest of your life in a career you hate?

Fear can serve us in some way. It can light a fire in us to make necessary changes and when we take action we don’t need the fear. But if you are tapped into the wrong fear you start doubting yourself.

Sandra’s soul wants to know who she is, independent of who she is in a relationship. Will she make the choice that serves the highest good?

If you want to learn to bring your unconscious to your conscious mind so you can remove obstacles from your life join me for my free No Regrets Master Class. Awareness is only the first step. You need a strategy to turn your struggles into your superpowers. During the class, I will share the Iceberg Principle to show you how to do it. Sign up and join me on October 11, 2018. Let me help you live your life with no regrets.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something in your life you are uncertain about?
  • Do you feel guilty about something you have done in a relationship?
  • Would you love for someone you are in a relationship with to change?
  • Are you struggling with a decision but deep down you know what to do?

Sandra’s Question:

Sandra would like some clarity around her current relationship.

Sandra’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s afraid of losing herself in her relationship.
  • She hasn’t had any time alone in her adult life.
  • She’s not sure the relationship is healthy.
  • She felt responsible for fixing the relationship.
  • She may be asking for permission to make a decision.
  • She may be playing her father’s role in an effort to get closer to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take three months to do some soul-searching.
  • She should write down the reality of what the relationship was.
  • She should make some self-honoring choices.


  • Get clear on which fear you need to be paying attention to.
  • Look at the parent you are most like or becoming.
  • Where do you need some space in your life?
  • Use prayer or meditation to find out what is the highest good for all involved.
  • Join my No Regrets master class.


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Christine Hassler

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