This call is about being a people pleaser in an effort to connect with other people. Today’s caller, Alice, lives in the Savior archetype. She identifies with doing for others and taking care of others. People in the Savior archetype often end up sacrificing themselves and their time in “service” to others. But, is it really service when we are not making choices that support our own self-care?

Being a people pleaser empties our cup and gets in the way of our being able to serve at our highest potential. You do not need to attract love through people feeling bad for you and you don’t need a sob story to connect or to be valuable.

Making self-honoring choices is not selfish! You are not here to save anyone else. Life is all about connecting to and nourishing your own soul. Accept who you are, where you are and your path. Honor your soul’s path. Don’t let your past become your future.

I am in Australia until the end of February. If any of you Aussies would like a one-hour, four-hour or all day session with me contact Jill@ChristineHassler.com.

And, I have a new Coaches Corner episode with Marie Forleo to listen to about how to make an impact in the world by doing what you love.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you still carrying around your childhood trauma or your parent’s pain, fears, or belief systems?
• Do you want to feel more connected and have better relationships in your life?
• What is your relationship with trust like? Do you trust others? Do you trust yourself?
• Do you like to take care of others so much so much so that you are better at it than you are of taking care of yourself?

Alice’s Question:

Alice wants to know how to move past her past traumas to have better relationships.

Alice’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

• She has a problem trusting other people, including friends.
• She doesn’t share all of herself with other people.
• She feels judged by her mother.
• She is hard on herself.
• She is working with a therapist.
• She sees herself as damaged.
• She comes from a pure place.

How to get over it and on with it:

• She shouldn’t internalize her mother’s judgments and fears.
• She should stop thinking about herself as damaged and know she deserves love and connection.
• She should research the Savior archetype.
• She should get in touch with her own body.

Assignments and Takeaways:

• Be honest about who you are trying to save. It’s time to bring the focus back to yourself.
• Break generational patterns without any attachment to changing, teaching, or helping your parents.
• Consider the Savior archetype. If it resonates with you look at you are trying to save yourself and/or get love through saving others.
• Tell yourself things about yourself that are amazing. Own who you are and what we love about ourselves and tell others; it’s not bragging.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For men interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

When we are disconnected from ourselves and judge ourselves harshly, it’s hard to build intimacy and trust with other people. https://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

When we heal ourselves, it can affect our past and future generational patterns. https://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

Reverse the Golden Rule and do onto yourself what you would do to others. https://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet